Month 107..... or so

Note: I know I cheated. I changed the title of my post. It now says "Month 107 .. or so" instead of "Month 104...". Today when I was in the shower I realized I made a mistake in calculating the months. Anyway - these forehead smacking moments are happening in the Kay household (to Cee of course!) almost everyday these days :D

Been a long time since I wrote a post about S. A post on month 4 for Baby M is already coming up soon so I, in my eternal (yet futile) quest to be fair to both my daughters, decided to post an update about S too. A long overdue update.

I don't even know where to start from. I think I'll start from her fight with Alopecia Areata. She is still fighting it. She has gotten almost all her hair back but there are still a few very stubborn bald patches left on her scalp. Her strength amazes me. It is like she doesn't even care about them but I know that she does. She just doesn't speak about it. She acts all non-chalant but I know she is thrilled to have her hair back.

Before this started, I would often tell her that I wanted to cut her hair short and that she will have to learn to take care of her hair before I will let her grow it long. And then she lost all of it. I felt so guilty because at that time we didn't know if she will ever get her hair back. I felt guilty for not letting her enjoy something as simple as long hair. I felt guilty because in some way I thought I was guilty. I felt like my saying that I'd cut her hair short had made it fall out. I knew it wasn't true but guilt is an amazing thing. It makes you believe all sort of nonsense. I usually don't take guilt trips but this is one I never returned from.

S got into Norwalk's swim team last year. We were thrilled that she even considered trying. Initially she didn't want to but we convinced her to try out for the team. We told her that if she did get in, she didn't have to continue if she didn't like it. Turns out she does like it. So much that this year she made the decision to stop her tennis lessons and focus on swimming. I am just glad that she is thinking for herself.

I am seeing a confident, responsible S emerge from my baby S. We never have to remind her to do her homework (well, almost never). She remembers to take her library books back and even helps out at home a lot. Helps put away groceries, helps clean up the house, even helps take care of Baby M. Our mornings are finally calm and serene because I no longer have to yell "S! Hurry UP!" 1013 times. In fact, she gets ready and then helps me by loading all my stuff (my handbag, my lunch/book bag, my laptop bag and sometimes an odd file folder or so) in the car. Mornings are less rushed now and consist of sane conversations like "What are you going to do at school today?". We don't forget to send important permission slips to school anymore. We have time to say "Bye" to the baby FIVE times :D

S has been taking Piano lessons for over 2 years now and this is her second year taking Violin lessons. And I am glad to notice that she enjoys these. I would never want to push her into learning something that she doesn't enjoy. She LOVES reading. She is reading the fourth Harry Potter now. And she is writing in her "Reading Journal" (something they have to write in as homework) about these books. Initially I was apprehensive about letting her read beyond the first three Harry Potter books because I heard that they get a little too graphic beyond that (I haven't read them, so I don't know). But then, after seeing how keen she is to read them, I left it up to her school's librarian to decide if these books are appropriate for S. The librarian at S' school is this nice, tech-savvy lady who actually enjoys her library duties and takes them seriously! That includes assisting kids find age-appropriate books for reading. Besides, I grew up reading all sorts of books (even horrors, thrillers and chillers) at a young age and I am fine! If something scared me, I spent a few nights chanting the Gayatri Mantra under the covers - thats it! So maybe I should focus on teaching her the Gayatri Mantra to tide her through those scary nights instead :D

She is a patient child. Always has been. Before Baby M came along, I'd promised her I'd let her get her hair braided and nails done professionally (just ONCE) as a "BIG SISTER" gift for her. I am yet to get the necessary appointments. She has reminded me a number of times but I always forget. But she has never thrown a fit over that.

Coming back to her swimming abilities. Swimming is doing her more good than we could ever imagine. She has developed a good physique due to that. She has these nice, square, broad shoulders that look good in halter tops. The other day she mentioned at the bus stop that she was very worried about an upcoming physical fitness test at school. She said she thought she won't be able to pass it. In the evening, when I asked her how it went, she told me she was one of the few kids who went beyond the required number of sit-ups and curls in these tests. They were required to do 26 sit-ups, she did 40. They were told to do 18 curls, she did 30. I have seen that she always underestimates herself. I guess she is afraid of failing. I think I need to work on that with her. I want her to realize that more important than being on the top in everything is that you try your best.

A friend of mine has been after me to talk to her teacher about getting her into the Academically Talented program at her school. Kids get into this program based on their test scores, teachers' recommendations and their "out-of-the-box" thinking. Well, I did talk to the teacher but I found out that the reason S didn't get into it is that her State standardized test score in reading is just at goal level. She has been placed at advanced levels in both, writing and math. Even though I think it is unfair that only scores in reading are given importance and thus kids achieving high scores in writing and math lose out, I am perfectly fine with the fact that S didn't get into AT program. It doesn't make or break anything, I told her. She will still be as intelligent as she is. And we are working at improving her reading skills. Not because I want her to get in the AT program, but because I think she can do much better. The reason her scores in reading have been lower than those in writing and math is that she just whizzes through the text she is reading and in her hurry sometimes misses the context or interprets it incorrectly.

So, this is how S is doing these days. I am just sad that she is growing up so fast. "Don't grow up so fast, Mamuni" I tell her. And she just smiles that patient little smile of hers and says "I can't help it mamma".