What IS it with people??

No. Really. Maybe it is the pregnancy hormones or the crabbiness that comes over one after a sickness, but I am increasingly getting annoyed with people. Insensitive jerks, pompous asses, egoists and egotists. And all others who manage to annoy the heck out of me for some reason or the other.

There is this kid at my daughter's school. I see his mom almost every day when I pick S up from the after-school program. Every single time, without fail, she looks at me and goes "Oh GOD! You're HUGE!!". And the accompanying expression is not of humor or sympathy. It borderlines on contempt. I am at a point where I feel like saying "And that is a problem because....?"

I have no delusions about how huge I am in this pregnancy. During the one year of infertility treatments, specifically during the two IVF cycles, I put on more than 20 pounds. The combined stress of the treatment, in-law visit, a full time job and responsibilities at home and in the community (I am actively involved in my daughter's school's PTO) were the underlying factors. At the start of this pregnancy, I was 20 pounds heavier (!!!) than my full-term weight during my first pregnancy. I was 158 pounds (roughly 72 kgs) full-term in my last pregnancy. I had gained only 26 pounds (about 12 kgs) and had a very healthy pregnancy. This time, I started at 174 pounds. I am determined to keep my weight gain under or at 25 pounds (with my OB/GYN's agreement) and so far I have been successful. But I DO NOT stress about my weight. I just eat healthy and try to stay active. And yes, I do gorge on foods that I like occasionally. (OK - more than occasionally. Happy??)

So, going back to the original issue - when this mom says what she does, in the tone that she uses with the expression that she has - it brings my blood to a boil. In the beginning I didn't mind. I even replied with "I think there might be more than two in there!!" or "Yeah, I already look like I am ready to pop. Right?!" But this woman goes on incessantly about my size as long as I am within a 10 feet radius. I am about ready to smack her on upside of her head.

At work too, there are some insensitive jerks who KNOW I have been through two IVF cycles and that I gained more than 20 pounds during those cycles. This morning, I walked into the kitchen to get a cup of tea. This nurse, who is on our staff, was in there. She looked at me and said "God! You are ready to pop!". So I said humorously - "Yes, tell me about it. I am going to ask my OB/GYN to look more closely during the next ultrasound and see if there's another baby lurking in there!" To which she said "No, you ARE ready to pop. Are you dilated?" When I said no, I was still 2 months away from my due date, she said "Are you sure???". I was speechless. Wouldn't I know when my due date was?

And I absolutely do not get why every one wants to touch and rub a pregnant belly in this country. First of all, I am a private person. I don't touch people unnecessarily and I don't want anyone touching me for no reason either. My ballooning belly is NOT a reason. It should not be! Second, often times, The Peanut is so tightly wedged in some corner that her heel or elbow constantly digs at one point and makes it extremely sore. So much so that I can't even bear the brush of my shirt against my skin at those times. At such times, should someone attempt to touch my belly, I SNAP at them. I eat them alive. And then spit them out in a heap of broken bones. Or at least I dream of doing so. On one occasion, when one considerate soul asked me if I minded anyone touching my belly, I told her all this. And she has been kind and considerate enough to remember this. There were a few other individuals present at the time I gave this explanation and they heard every single word of it. The next incident relates to one of those individuals.

Not long after I explained my reasons for disliking being touched on my belly, I walked into the kitchen one day and found 3 of my co-workers eating there lunch in there. As I was talking to them, one of them slipped her hand UNDER my shirt and started stroking my belly!! I was dumbfounded and just excused myself from there. But I kept fuming about it for a long time. Then one day, the same woman grabbed me by my arm as I was passing her table and tried to stroke my belly again. This time, I just grabbed her hand and told her not to do it. She persisted, saying she wanted to say Hi to the baby. I told her to say her Hi's and Hello's from a distance because I was "not in a mood to be touched". She hasn't attempted to touch me ever since.

Then there is this co-worker of mine who seems to think that I am his personal assistant. Ever since he joined the company last year, he has tried, on a number of occasions, to pass off "menial" tasks to me. Once he had to replace a hard drive on a server. He did. Then he asked me to call up Dell to ask them to send us a replacement because the server was still under warranty. If he needed to order something - he would come to me to get a purchase request prepared. If he needed to make a phone call to tech support, he would tell me to do it while he did the "serious" stuff. Not that I mind helping someone out. But I can see when they need my help and when they are just trying to offload their work on me. Every single time I diplomatically told him to do it himself. If he asked me to call tech support, I'd email him the phone number. if he asked me to mail something out, I'd tell him where to find the mailing supplies. If he needed information on our off-shore team's timings, I sent him their contact numbers and a best time to reach them. I thought I was making it clear to him slowly that I am not his secretary. Seems I was wrong about his getting the message though. Today, he came to me to ask me if I had a spare laptop which he could swap a DVD drive out of for another laptop that urgently needed one. The other laptop is still under warranty so I told him to order a replacement but he needed it ASAP. So, I gave him one spare laptop that I did have. He swapped out the drives, installed the good one in the laptop that needed it, and then brought the defective drive to my office and was about to leave it on my desk!! The message was clear - call Dell and ask for a replacement. I was furious inside. but I managed to say nicely to him - "Could you call Dell to request a replacement for this please?" To which he said "You won't do it? You are very busy, right?" Well, heck yeah!! Aaaaaaaaaaarggggghhhhhhhhh!! Anyway, I hope he got the message this time. If not, I might not be as nice the next time.

Seriously. What IS wrong with these people??

Now it runs in the family...

Sickness, that is. I started coughing last Thursday, March 15th. Must have caught it from Barbara at work. Slept most of the weekend away and attributed it to laziness. By Monday morning, March 19th, I had a 102 fever. Had already taken that day off to "relax" so didn't have to call in sick. OB/GYN suggested I go see my physician because of the cough AND fever so I did. She diagnosed BRONCHITIS!!! Started me on Anti-biotics. I could barely drive myself back from her office - I was so drained out. And was kicking myself for refusing my husband's offer of help to drive me to and from the doctor's office. I decided to pick my daughter up from her school on my way and when I did, the first thing she mentioned was her cough. I had surely passed on my ailment to my darling. **SOB** All the moments from the weekend and the week before rushed back - how I had cuddled with her in bed most of saturday and sunday, how I had read to her every night for the past few nights (a BIG accomplishment lately). How I had smothered her with kisses on more than one occasion. Oh well...

Tuesday, we woke up to find her burning with a 102/103 fever. Cancelled school (much to her chagrin because she WANTED TO GO TO SCHOOL), I called in sick because my fever hadn't gone down and the cough was worse and took an appointment from her doctor. Who confirmed what I suspected. Bronchitis. Again, I was so drained coming back from the doctor's office that I couldn't even bear to drop her prescription off at the pharmacy so my husband could pick it up later. Poor hubby had to come all the way from his work to pick up the prescription, get it filled and drop the meds off at home before rushing off to work again.

He thoroughly pampered me. Never once did I miss my mom or dad (who are usually the first ones to be missed whenever I am sick because I remember all those days gone by when they took such good care of me during sickness). In the evening I was feeling strong enough to make Pulao (Rice pilaf) and "Boondi Raita" (kind of yogurt salad - to make a feeble attempt at explaining what it is in brief). Till then we had been eating left overs from the last week. So this little bit of "freshly cooked" food was a welcome change. Again, this was all I could do before collapsing in bed with exhaustion. My husband, from now on J - for convenience, cleaned up the kitchen. I mean he REALLY cleaned it up! Yeah. I know. You fail to find the reason for excitement in this bit of information. But consider this. J HATES CLEANING UP THE KITCHEN. HE HATES COOKING. He does help me a lot around the kitchen despite his strong feelings of hate - without me having to twist his arm. And I appreciate that genuinely. But the fact that he decided to clean the kitchen all on his own AND left it Spic N Span speaks volumes for how pampered I felt just because of this.

Now before anyone starts on how J should help around the house equally, and how kitchen duty shouldn't be mine alone, let me interrupt. I clean the kitchen, I cook. I do some other tasks around the house. J does the laundry, irons almost ALL our clothes, cleans/organizes the house, does grocery for me when i don't feel like stepping out of the house (which is frequently the case these days), shovels the snow, sands-n-salts the driveway before each snow-storm, takes the garbage out, helps our daughter get ready for bed, drops her off at the bus stop every morning, takes her to at least two of her extra curricular activities (I take her to some too), remembers to give me my pre-natal vitamins every night after dinner, fills up the tank in my car, takes my car in for regular servicing..... The list is HUGE. ENDLESS. THAT is how skewed the distribution of tasks in our household currently is. And I shamelessly enjoy it :D But I appreciate all he does sincerely too. So don't anyone start on how J needs to take better care of me! He is doing more than his fair share.

Anyway, coming back to the MAIN story...

Wednesday, my daughter, S from here on, was still burning with fever. 104! Point 3!!! So I spent the day taking her temperature and deciding whether she needed another dose of Motrin or not. Come evening, J came back from work complaining of "burning" eyes, a cough and a general feeling of tiredness. By evening I was feeling better enough to cook another meal so I did. And later J and I cleaned up the kitchen together before both of us fell in bed exhausted - me from the three day old sickness that was taking its toll on me for lack of rest and J from the infection that both of us could feel was descending upon him.

This morning, J woke up with a fever of 102 and I woke up to find that my fever has finally broken (Means I go back to work tomorrow **SOB**). So now the roles are reversed. Though I am still a little shaky and exhausted, I AM THE BOSS NOW as I told J :P Forced him to take a nap. So right now he and S are napping in the guest bedroom while I type this post - before I go take my power nap.

Oh and I am back to the grind on the work front too. Last night one of my co-workers finished a project of his that required some Network down-time. Been fixing phone and fax issues and whatnot since morning. Am doing my bit by helping out remotely. Work, sick child, sick husband, sick self, pregnant self, home - let the juggling resume!!

Challenge...

Me: Anything you can do I can do better, I can do anything better than you!
Husband: Really??
Me: Yes. Really!!
Husband: Well, then touch your toes!
Me: .........................

In This Pregnancy...

Three things that I am GAINING - Butt, Belly and Boobs.
Three things I am losing - Sleep, Sanity and Sense of Humor.

Pregnancy Update!!

Last night I cried. Not big, heaving sobs, but a brief, quiet, tears-flowing-down-my-face kind of crying. I cried because I and my husband saw a "bump" on my abdomen for the first time in this pregnancy. And then "The Peanut" KICKED!!! I have been feeling movements for quite some time now, but this was the first kick that even my husband felt very clearly. I cried because before I got pregnant with IVF, I had given up hope on ever being able to feel that kick again. I had given up hope that I would ever experience the joys and discomforts of pregnancy again. That kick brought the realization that I AM pregnant. Almost into my third trimester now, actually. That there IS a baby inside me. Really. I keep forgetting that I am pregnant, what with all the running around I am doing all day long. Even though I am BIG! No - make that HUGE!! Each movement brings the same realization back - I AM PREGNANT!! I am not exaggerating. I really do get that sense of wonder with every movement.

I have hardly written anything about the pregnancy. Partly because I have been so busy and partly because it all still feels so surreal. Its like I am in a dream, nervous that as soon as I wake up, every thing will go back to "normal". One husband, one kid, one un-pregnant me.

I haven't even mentioned that we tried to find out the sex of the baby. But couldn't because the baby wouldn't co-operate. We have finally decided that the baby is a girl - because "she" so stubbornly refused to come out from under the placenta to help us find out. (That was the doctor's opinion!) So much so, that we had to schedule another ultra-sound because the doctor couldn't even get a good look at the heart, the brain and other organs which an 20 week ultra-sound is conducted for. By the next appointment, we had decided we didn't want to find out after all. But we are still sure the baby is a girl. Also because my daughter wants a baby sister. She says she is ready to share her room with the baby if it is a girl but if it turns out to be a boy, we will have to find another room for him :D So, a girl it is!!

The day before yesterday, I was very tired and uncomfortable because I had had this sore spot in my abdomen that made even normal breathing painful and ANY movement impossible. I guess The Peanut had found a comfortable spot against my ribs with her feet pushing against my abdomen wall and spent all day there. By evening, I was miserable. My daughter took one look at me and said "Come mommy, I'll take you to your 'personal relaxing place'!" She told me to close my eyes, took me by my hand and walked me to the office and sat me down in the chair in front of the computer. I thought she meant to say "Here, do what you like the most - play Spider Solitaire". But - NO. Then she turned the chair around, got me a stool to prop my feet up on and then proceeded to take my shoes off. After that, she started giving me a foot massage!! Then followed a hand/palm massage with her little fingers and then a neck massage. Then she rolled and rotated my neck gently to loosen up the stiff muscles and then made me stretch my arms out and did the same thing with them. In the end she massaged my scalp. THE WHOLE PERSONAL SPA TREATMENT!!!!!!!! From an 8 YEAR OLD!! I mean where DID she learn all that from?!! I was overcome with emotion. And I thanked God for my beautiful little daughter. Who takes care of her mother like a mother would.

THANK YOU AGAIN, GOD!

BLANK NOISE - ACTION HEROES: My Contribution

I know the project says to post your experience on March 8th but knowing me and my swiss-cheese memory, there is a better than good chance that I will forget to post it on that very day. I am not taking any chances with this one! So here is my post, two days early.

The year was 1995 and the movie Karan Arjun had just been released. I got together with two other friends to go see the movie as my favorite actor, Shahrukh Khan (!!!!) was starring in it. We got into the theater quite easily even though there was quite the mad rush for this movie. But as soon as we got in, we got separated by the throngs of crowd. While I was looking around for my seat and for my friends, I felt someone grope my breasts. I wasn't sure but in a few minutes there he was again! I waited. Like a lioness waits for her prey :D The next instant, as "the hand" groped me again, I grabbed a finger and TWISTED it with ALL my might. And I didn't let go when he tried to yank his hand back. I kept twisting and almost broke his finger off - all the while calmly looking around for my friends. Then I hit another person, who was trying to get "too close for comfort" squarely and solidly in the chest with my helmet (I used to ride my BAJAJ SUPER FE Scooter all around town with a Full-Mask helmet!) Quite a few people caught that exchange (well - the exchange of the blow and the "ow") No one bothered me after that! I still get a rush of satisfaction when ever I think about that incidence. I wish I had done something similar to EVERY ONE who ever dared to lay a finger (or even think about it) on me.

BLANK NOISE ACTION HEROS PROJECT

Last year, BLANK NOISE PROJECT held a blogathon about Street Sexual Harassment. Bloggers from all over the world participated and blogged about their experiences/memories of sexual harassment incidents. This was my contribution. This year they are asking every one to share experiences of times when they were an ACTION HERO and fought back against harassment. Follow this link for details: http://blanknoiseproject.blogspot.com/2007/02/blog-your-story-action-heroes-online_25.html#linkshttp://www2.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

This is what the project is about -

share. talk. inspire. understand. tell. speak. hear. be heard.
narrate. voice. throw open.

When did you flip a situation so you could resist, when did you give back as hard as you got? When and how did you choose to confront? When did you become an Action Hero?

Being a 'HERO' is relative . We are interested in knowing how you
challenged yourself or didint feel victimised?

This is an attempt to understand how different women ( across age groups/ cultures/ communities) have dealt with street sexual harassment in their everyday lives. Male bloggers are encouraged to share stories of women in their lives and how they have dealt with street sexual harassment. Non bloggers are also invited to participate- email us your story. We will upload your email at www.blanknoiseactionheroes.blogspot.com

You could also be an agent- the one that collects stories of confrontation/ of heroism from your mother, grandmother, cousins, domestic workers, people in your office, the vegetable vendor, the woman bus conductor...anyone!

To confirm your participation, announce the event on your blog and email us the link right away!

Got any questions? email us at blurtblanknoise@gmail.com

I'm definitely doin' it!