Oh, the irony, the irony!!

Ro tagged me to write about the little ironies of motherhood. I'll comply. Only, I'd like to register a teeny-tiny objection about the term "ironies" at the very beginning of this post. Ironies? I don't think so. I think these are conspiracies against mothers. The seemingly innocent babies are conspiring against the poor mommies so that they don't get a single shut-eye, can't read a single sentence of ANY book and can't even go to the loo in peace. Don't agree with me? Read on!

1. The kids are busy watching the idiot box, or you are getting ready to go somewhere and the kids are ALL READY, waiting for you outside the house. You slip into the bathroom for that one quick "business" trip and the moment you sit down on the throne the door-banging sessions begin!

2. You tell you friends proudly about how junior has started going poo-poo in the pot and the next day you have a major clean-up operation on your hands. Or you tell you friend she is a good eater and she starts picking out the peas, the tomatoes, the meat the bread... Same goes for the boasts of "Oh she sleeps through" the night" or "She stays up ALL night". The little darlings make sure you are proven a liar in everyone's eyes. Again, and again, and AGAIN!

3. You spend the first 18 years swearing you will kick them out the door as soon as they hit 18 and then the rest of them hoping they'd come back, even if for a week.

4. You are not a homebody. You CANNOT be a stay-at-home mom - it'll kill you! The first day back to work, away from the baby, kills you.

5. You can't wait till you can finish your sentences before being interrupted by yet another "mommy...". When the time comes, your ears strain to hear if they have been calling your name, leaving sentences hanging half-finished in the air.

6. You yell at them, telling them to stop screaming.

7. You mourn the demise of romantic dinners out and then spend an entire dinner date talking about what junior must be doing right now, with the baby sitter.

8. You, who couldn't function without an 8-hour sleep, now buzz around on 4.5 hours' worth. And keep your composure. And are still sweet. You even smile occasionally!

9. You never imagined life with kids. Kept your focus on the straight and narrow path of "life ambitions" and "goals". Now you can't imagine life without them. You don't remember what you filled your days with, before they came along.

10. The more you love them, the more love you have for them.

Ain't life strange??

Desperate times call for desperate measures

I have been feeling this urge to write a post - ANY post - but didn't have the energy to complete a couple of posts that I started because they need a deeper thought, which the current state of sleep deprivation is incapable of facilitating. So I picked up this tag from Meira's blog.

1. ) When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I know what I didn't want to be - a mom! I mean, I always assumed I would be, one day. But never "actively" looked forward to it! Until 12th grade, I wanted to become a neuro-surgeon. Something changed overnight towards the end of 12th grade and I decided to go into technology.

2.) What’s your favorite poem? (And if you don’t have one, why?)

Be The Best of Whatever You Are - by Douglas Malloch

AND

Leisure - by William Henry Davies

3.) Define “freedom.”

Freedom to be myself. 

4.) What’s the first thing that pops into your head when you think of your father?

I miss him.

5.) Do you owe an apology to anyone? Why?

Loads and loads of people from my past. Why? Because I was an insufferable bi*** in those days. Even my mom - for putting her through various heartaches by my thoughtless words.

6.) You’ve just been given a million dollars. You are not allowed to keep it or give it to anyone you know personally. What do you do with it and why?

Give some to American Heart Association because I lost my dad to a heart attack. Maybe my money will help in some research that will save someone else's dad.

Give some to the Red Cross. Pa had the heart attack waiting for blood that matched his blood group. They did find it but maybe he could have been saved if they had found the blood earlier and he could have had his surgery sooner. I know this won't bring him back but maybe someone else will get the blood they need, in time.

Give a whole lot to Kiran's "Pavement Schools" (scroll to the end of the page). I know this violates the rule about not giving it to someone you know personally, but to heck with it! It is MY money - I will do as I please with it. I believe she is doing a world of good with this one thing. With others too, but this one I admire and respect immensely.

7.) Japanese lore suggests that if you fold 1,000 paper cranes, your wish will come true. What would your wish be, and what would you be willing to do 1,000 times to get it?

Nothing. I have everything I need. I know how to live without my wants if I can't have them or afford them. Four years ago I would have said "for another baby". 

8.) If you could go back in time and meet your 16-year-old self, what three things would you tell yourself?

1. Don't be too tough on yourself. It wasn't your fault.
2. Be kinder with your words and actions.
3. People who are criticizing you right now are like pesky ants. Ignore them. Focus on your studies. Your knowledge will carry you through life - or at least make your passage easier.

9.) Tell us about your first kiss.

Gave me a bruised lip that I had to explain away as "bumped my face into the corner of a file folder HARD" :D

10.) What are the five best bands you’ve seen play live?

Ummmm.....

11.) What’s your superpower?

I know how to communicate with my preteen daughter :)

12.) What’s your greatest fear?

Of ending up an old, lonely, bitter woman.

13.) If you could take a train journey through any part of the world, where would you go?

Home.

14.) What’s the one food you feel like you couldn't live without? What’s the one food you’d rather die than put in your mouth?

There is no food I couldn't live without. Am already living without many foods I could easily find in India but can't find here.

I don't think I can EVER eat shrimps, lobsters, crabs or the food that they serve on "Fear Factor"!

15.) What was the worst job you ever had?

None. I have enjoyed all the jobs I have held so far. Even if they were stressful.

16.) Do you think it’s ever permissible to cheat?

No. There is no excuse for cheating. You are unhappy with your current partner? Separate and then marry/start dating someone else.

17.) Do something nice for someone today. Then tell us about what you did.

Called a user back to give him a reply to a question he had asked but I had forgotten to answer during our conversation. Help-desk doesn't do that, you know! :P

18.) Perhaps you’ve played this game. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse lets you have one free pass — one special man or woman who is so attractive and out of reach that if circumstances allowed it, your partner would allow you to sleep with that person. Most monogamous couples feel safe with the free pass rule as it’s more theoretical than practical. Sill, if your partner gave you a free pass, would you use it? On who? (Single people can use this prompt however they please.)

No. Would never use that pass. It is equivalent to cheating in my books.

19.) How do you feel about the name given to you at birth?

LOVE it!!

20.) Tell us everything you know about the day you were born.

NOTHING happened on that particular day (in 1970). Bah!! Oh, but I do know what happened on this day this year - I turned FOR-TEE!! I am SO gonna rock this decade, yeah!!

21.) In what ways have you become ‘green’ in the past few years? Do you think that it has made a difference?


I try to minimize the water wastage when I work in the kitchen, I turn off lights in empty rooms. I think it does make a difference, even if in a very small way. I don't leave my car running when I go to drop my kids off - you won't believe how many people do that! I am helping the bumble bee and butterfly population by maintaining a vegetable garden :D I TRY to use organic fertilizers and pesticides. I also conserve energy (mine) by trying not to yell at the kids or the husband for every small thing :D THAT definitely has made a HUGE difference.

22.) What’s the first thing you notice about a man when you meet him? A woman?

Man - His behavior towards his wife if he is married, girlfriend if he isn't and has one. Towards other people around him, including those who are serving him. His parenting style if he has kids.

Woman - about the same. Her behavior towards her husband if she is married, boyfriend if she isn't and has one. Towards other people around her including the ones who are serving her. Her parenting style if she has kids.

There!! Now tell me YOUR answers. Leave me a link here and I will come visit to read your post.

Pliss to not to spik to me like this

Another post for Sue's Red Marker Blogathon. I have already written one post for it.

My parents always insisted we speak as pure Hindi/ English as possible. Which meant not speaking like this: "I तो went there और उसने खाना भी cook नहीं किया था so I had to वघारो-fy the दाल myself, you know!"   We got raised eyebrows and mini-lectures for such language. We were taught to say it entirely in Hindi or in English. Such Hindlish business was not allowed in my parents' home.

So that IS my pet peeve for today. Agreed, Hindi has borrowed a lot of words from English and it is almost impossible to speak a sentence completely in Hindi without having to use a word from English. But still, use of words like "वघारो-fy" grates  on  my nerves.   It isn't too difficult to speak this sentence either in Hindi or English - one just needs to make up one's mind.

There are a lot of other incorrect usages of Hindi words that I feel like correcting but not with the same vehemence. Mainly because most times the speaker simply doesn't know that he/ she is speaking incorrectly. Interchanging the words "कृपा करके" or   "कृपया" with "कृपया कर के", for instance.   

The first two expressions essentially mean the same thing - "Kindly (followed by a request)" but the third expression is absolutely incorrect. 

कृपया = कृपा कर के

कृपया कर के = कृपा कर के कर के (redundancy)

Another mistake people make while speaking Hindi is in pronouncing the "ऋ" sound. 

It is pronounced as "ri" (with a short "ee" sound) and not as "ru" (with a short "roo" sound). So कृपया should be pronounced as "kri-pa-yaa" and not as "kru-pa-yaa".

I recently read this article that advocates simplifying spellings. My initial reaction was of strong disapproval but a couple of friends gave arguments that convinced me that simplifying spelling might actually be a good thing because it will make communication easier. I agree with that point but the purist in me still feels sad that things have come to this. Simplifying spelling is a good concept - trouble is, where will we stop? Will we stop at "becoz" or will we go further and simplify "friend" as "frend" and "friends" as "frendz"? Where will simplification of English end and standardization of SMSese (a "language" I abhor) begin? 

"I" of the storm

 Sue has started a Red Marker Blogathon which goes like this:

"If some word/phrase/idiom/spelling/syntax/punctuation incorrectly used drives you up the wall, blog about it.

The only rule is that you must explain what is wrong with the usage that it bothers you so and you must also explain the proper usage.
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You can blog about any language you like, there is no need to restrain yourselves to English.

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Please leave me your link as a comment at this post when you're done. Feel free to send me links of other participants you've noticed.

Pass the word, tag people you know who have opinions on this"

There are so many mistakes people make that irritate me. Yeah well - I am a cranky old hag. What will YOU do about it, HUH??! Many others have jumped in to utilize this opportunity to voice their irritation. I'll list a couple in this post. Then we'll see if my cranky old hag-gy mind can remember more.

The improper usage of "I" gets my goat. 

"The boss gave Shelley and I a tough task". 

That red marker up there does look ugly, isn't it? Well, I'll leave it there. Just as a reminder to SHAPE UP OR I WILL HOUND YOU WITH A RED MARKER!!! Phew! Yes, thank you. 

I think according to the rules I must clarify what's wrong with this usage. The simple rule is - when using "I" in a sentence like this, remove the other name/pronoun and see if the sentence still makes sense with "I". In this case "The boss gave I a tough task" - ummmmmm.... doesn't quite sound right to me! Don't use those I's indiscriminately people!! Now someone saying "John/My husband and I wish you a very happy New Year" is saying it correctly, so don't you go after them with the dreadful red marker!!!

Another thing that just sends me deeeeeep into the cranky, old hag-dom? The usage of the word "thingie" to describe anything that you cannot remember or do not know the name of. 

Like that... that thingie you use to describe a person or a thing, you know!

You mean an adjective? Oh THAT!!

Don't come and start sentences like "You know that round, flat thingie in your kitchen...?" The "round, flat thingie" must have a name. Is it a plate? a button? A pill? UFO? (Though what would it do in my kitchen is beyond me) Frisbee?? WHATTTT???????

Tell me the darned NAME or I will beat you to a pulp with that long, wooden, cylindrical-ish thingie I have in my kitchen! I call it a ROLLING PIN!!

Who, me??

Itchy, Suki, Dottie and Sraikh have honored me with this award. I am speechless honestly, as I only write about mundane stuff (my kids, my life and sometimes my opinions) that I didn't think would interest anyone.

Itchy gave it to me along time back and then Suki and Dottie. And now very recently, Sraikh. The last one is so recent that Sraikh hasn't had a chance to even leave a comment on my blog to inform me :D (I came to know of it through Google link alert). I am extremely sorry ladies, for the delay in accepting it. It isn't that I don't appreciate this thoughtful gesture on your parts. I was busy preparing the acceptance speech but as it turns out, I forgot it once I got to the "stage" :P So, without further ado, I accept it most gratefully and (am supposed to) pass it on to seven others. Now it so happens that the very ladies who presented me this award are among the seven I would have chosen. So I was left with the task of finding four more.

Brilliant Weblog is a prize given to sites and blogs that are smart and brilliant both in their content and their design. The purpose of the prize is to promote as many blogs as possible in the blogsphere.

First, here are the rules:

1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back

2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.

3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Brilliant Weblog’

4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).

5. And then we pass it on!

Now for the seven bloggers who, I think, deserve this award (though I do think I am not brilliant enough to award them):

1. Anurag from DogJournals. He writes brilliantly. He was the person who goaded me into starting my own blog. Encouraged me with his comments on the most boring of my posts. And now has all but disappeared from the blogging world because he is very busy in real life. He has always been brilliant. Always. Was my first best buddy, and still is. The only person, apart from J, I go to when I am extremely depressed. My brilliant little brother.

2. Priya from PriyainSuburbia. Writes brilliantly. Presents her thoughts so coherently that I can never even dream of doing.

3. Roop from RoopScoop. Another brilliant writer and a gem of a person. Her passion for helping the disadvantaged I admire. And her strength amazes me.

4. Rohini from Mamasaysso. A career woman and a hot mama. Someone I hope to learn a lot from. Her poise in expressing her opinion, the clarity of thoughts and the fine balance between career and family life she maintains - I envy he for all that.

5. Lumi from Lumismusings. I have learnt a lot from her, and have a lot to learn still. She gives me clarity of thought when I am confused and provides sound and sane advice when I need it the most.

6. Grail from Just some Grail. She knows how to laugh - at herself AND the world - even when the tides are against her. Her boys are her life and she is the kind of mom I hope I'll become even if for just one day of my life. She inspires me with her optimism.

7. Kiran from Karmickids. She is the kind of mom I hope of becoming. Dedicated, determined and completely devoted to her son. She is the kind of woman I wish I could be - stylish, grounded, well-read, with a great sense of humor.

Long overdue book tag

Amuser tagged me a LONG time ago to:

Pick up the nearest book.

Open to page 123.Find the fifth sentence.

Post the next three sentences.

Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you .

I have been reading the Cisco Exam Certification Guide. I thought I'd share the pain with you. These are the three sentences after the fifth sentence on page 123-

For example, consider 130.4.102.1, with mask 255.255.255.0. Because the third octet of the mask is not a 0 or 255, the third octet is where the interesting part of the shortcut takes place. You create a subnet chart, fill in the address and mask, and draw a box around the third octet as shown in Table 4-26.

There are many more such painful sentences in this book. In fact, the whole book is full of them! Truthfully though, this is my favorite chapter in the whole book. I love binary math. I love subnetting exercises. Because I know I can score a 100% in them. I wish the whole exam was based on just IP addressing and subnetting and route summarization :D But I wouldn't have missed NAT or PAT or Frame Relay and ISDN. Specially the latter two. The thing is, I can remember anything indefinitely once I do it. Just reading theory and memorizing is not my strength. That is why I never liked social sciences or literature. I am a "hands-on" gal. And I would definitely like to get my hands on the person who developed the concept of certification exams!

I am not tagging anyone as I am probably the last person doing this tag.

The five elements

GoodDaySunshine, Dipali, AA's Mom, Cantaloup's Amma, Boo and Devaki - all these people think there is more to my posts than I let on. So they want me to dive back in the archives and drag out old posts that I consider good enough to be paraded here again. Little do they know that this CeeKay here? She is an exhibitionist :D So she'll do all this gladly!! Here goes....

First, the rules.

Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given (family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like). Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better. Now don’t forget to read the archived posts and leave comments.

Now, on to the exhibition!

Family: My posts do include mentions of my family but until recently I had not written a post ABOUT my family. Guess these posts will have to do -

Truth. :D
Mom.
Dad.
Brother.
My beautiful daughters.

Friend:
One of our good friends.

My Love:
Why I love J.
How we met.
The lighter side.
Why life is fun with him.

Myself: (Now you are talking!)
A whole lot of nothing about me.
More nothing.
I'm a foodie!
Deeper than usual thoughts :P

Actually, why don't you go on and read the entire blog to know me better? Go on!!

Anything I like:
My views on Working Out of Home.
My views on parenting.
How being a parent has changed me.

There! THAT was easy! Now on to the hard part - tagging 5 blog-buddies. I tag -
2B's Mom : she needs to come out of that hiatus now!
Tharini: Her posts are always insightful. Would like to see her best work showcased.
Rohini: Haven't tagged her in a while!
Lavs: A new blog-buddy. Would like to know her more.
NullPointer: Another new friend.

When it rains....

... it pours! Its raining tags on my blog! Now I am a scatterbrain these days. I hardly remember which day of week it is, or my name or any such things. How am I to remember all the tags that this blog has accumulated in the last few days/weeks/months?? Now, not remembering my name is OK, as others will remember it for me. But tags? The important "honey-do" lists that I get from my blog-buddies? There is no way I want to pass up on them! So I am creating this list here to remind me of all tags that I need to finish. I'll keep crossing the tags off of this list as I complete them. Howzzatsound?? :D

1. The Alphabet tag from DotMom, Parul and MadMomma. You can find it here.

2. The five points tag from GoodDaySunshine, Dipali, AA's Mom, Cantaloup's Amma, Boo and Devaki. Find it here.

3. The "Object that holds precious memories" tag from Kiran.

4. The Quirky tag from Kiran.

5. The Quirky Baby tag for Baby M from someone - I don't remember who. Please let me know if you remember.

6. The long forgotten dream tag from Naina Ashley (yeah, I am a sucker for punishment - dredging up tags that everyone else has forgotten!)

7. I have taken up the "What makes your child happy" tag from Tharini.

8. And "Childhood photos" tag from Broom.

Will keep updating this list. It is my way of keeping track of these tags. Hope to be able to finish them soon.

Ay to Zee of Cee

Added later: Oops! I forgot that Parul had tagged me to do this long time back (well any period of time longer than TWO days is "long time back" for me these days). So, Parul? Here you go. I finally did it!

Now, MadMomma has decided to tag me for this too :) So she gets linked here as well.

OKKKAY!! Looks like DotMom isn't going to let me slack off on the tag she sent my way :D She has been leaving terse comments saying "Tagged!!" for each of my recent posts and I think the number of exclamation marks will keep going up unless I get down to business :P So here goes...

A -Available? For a dinner date? Book club? Bitching sessions about neighbors, co workers et al? Sure!

B-Best friend: J & my brother

C-Cake or Pie? Chocolate cake. Or sponge cake with whipped cream frosting. Yumm!

D-Drink of choice: Water. And tea.

E-Essential thing used everyday: TLC from J and hugs and smiles from M and S :D

F-Favourite colour: Soft Pearly white, turquoise, Rusty-orange. Most pastel shades. I lurrve the colors on DotMom's new template!

G-Gummi bears or worms: None. Have eaten both and don’t care for either of them.

H-Hometown: Mharo pyaro Jodhpur :P (My lovely Jodhpur)

I-Indulgence: An uninterrupted cup of hot tea with the morning newspaper on a Saturday (or Sunday – never both – that would be a miracle :P) morning.

J-January or February: February. The month is shorter :P

K-Kids and names: Two daughters – Mitthi and Ninni. And their wacky names.

L-Life: Norman Vincent Peale said "Live your life and forget your age". On a much lighter note though, this is what I feel sometimes - "Life would be much easier if I had the source code" (Source unknown - found it here)

M-Marriage date: December 3, 1995.

N-Number of siblings: 1. This one.

O-Oranges or apples: Apples. One (almost) every day. But I like Baby Carrots better.

P-Phobias: Numerous. I am “Mr. Monk” :D But otherwise I am quite fearless :P

Q-Quote: The one that I once blogged about – When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

R-Reason to smile: Life. And my silly J and S, and my sweet M.

S-Season: Fall and Early Spring.

T-Tag three people: Neera, Y, LastByte and Chandni. What? That's not three?? Oops!! :D

U-Unknown fact about me: shall remain so forever :P

V-Vegetable you do not like: Celery.

W-Worst habit: Procrastination.

X-x-rays you have had: Dental, back, knee and hand. Probably should have had one for head too – but then one doesn’t need an X-ray to determine I am whacko :P

Y-Your favorite food: Food!!

Z-Zodiac: Leo.

There! All done! You happy now, DotMom and Parul? Now leave me some real comments please :P