Now, some funny/cute Hindi-speak

because it comes from the mouth of children who are growing up in an American environment speaking a language (English) that does not have many sounds that Hindi does. Since kids learn languages better at a younger age, it is a good idea to expose them to as many languages as possible (on a regular basis for them to be able to pick up the languages). But that also brings a drawback with it. Kids can learn the language but (I believe) they pick up the accent that they primarily hear.

For example, S and M both speak and understand Hindi but their exposure to spoken English is far more than that to spoken Hindi (8+ hours at school/daycare vs. 4-5 at home) Plus, once your ears become attuned to the sounds of one language you start "speaking" other languages in that language. At least that is what S does. So she has a hard time pronouncing Hindi words that have the composite sounds containing the "hh/th/gh" etc. sounds in them. Like "haathi" (elephant - हाथी ) becomes हाती. (haati)  घर (Ghar = house) is pronounced as गर (Gar = no meaning).

She also has problem saying the "ड़" sound which cannot be compared to ANY sound in English. So she pronounces that as "र" ("r"). "पापर" (पापड़), "दौर" (दौड़) and "बरा" (बड़ा) is how she says the words containing this sound. I have been trying to train her to say these words properly by having her repeat this sounds in rapid succession like "ड़ ड़ ड़ ड़ ड़ ड़ ड़ ड़ ड़" and she does say it correctly when I have her do this. But when it comes to speaking fluently, she reverts to the "English-y" accent.

I don't fret about this too much because I think she is doing great - at least she doesn't feel ashamed in speaking her mother tongue - unlike some kids I have seen in our friend circle.

Then there are some words that S mispronounced by replacing letters which resulted in some funny mistakes. I loved those and keep reminding her of those mistakes just to keep those memories alive. She once asked me if I could make some "मकोड़े" (Makodey = ants) for snacks when she actually wanted to eat "पकोड़े"  (Pakodey = a savory snack made by dipping assorted vegetables in a chickpea flour batter and deepfried) :D Once she complained that I make too much "कुत्तपम" (Kuttapam = not a word really but "kutta" means "dog" in Hindi). She was actually complaining about "उत्तपम" (Uttapam) :)

There are many other words that S mispronounces and to my ears they sound cute and funny and sweet - because she is at least making an effort. (I am looking forward to similarly hilarious times with M :D)

Pliss to not to spik to me like this

Another post for Sue's Red Marker Blogathon. I have already written one post for it.

My parents always insisted we speak as pure Hindi/ English as possible. Which meant not speaking like this: "I तो went there और उसने खाना भी cook नहीं किया था so I had to वघारो-fy the दाल myself, you know!"   We got raised eyebrows and mini-lectures for such language. We were taught to say it entirely in Hindi or in English. Such Hindlish business was not allowed in my parents' home.

So that IS my pet peeve for today. Agreed, Hindi has borrowed a lot of words from English and it is almost impossible to speak a sentence completely in Hindi without having to use a word from English. But still, use of words like "वघारो-fy" grates  on  my nerves.   It isn't too difficult to speak this sentence either in Hindi or English - one just needs to make up one's mind.

There are a lot of other incorrect usages of Hindi words that I feel like correcting but not with the same vehemence. Mainly because most times the speaker simply doesn't know that he/ she is speaking incorrectly. Interchanging the words "कृपा करके" or   "कृपया" with "कृपया कर के", for instance.   

The first two expressions essentially mean the same thing - "Kindly (followed by a request)" but the third expression is absolutely incorrect. 

कृपया = कृपा कर के

कृपया कर के = कृपा कर के कर के (redundancy)

Another mistake people make while speaking Hindi is in pronouncing the "ऋ" sound. 

It is pronounced as "ri" (with a short "ee" sound) and not as "ru" (with a short "roo" sound). So कृपया should be pronounced as "kri-pa-yaa" and not as "kru-pa-yaa".

I recently read this article that advocates simplifying spellings. My initial reaction was of strong disapproval but a couple of friends gave arguments that convinced me that simplifying spelling might actually be a good thing because it will make communication easier. I agree with that point but the purist in me still feels sad that things have come to this. Simplifying spelling is a good concept - trouble is, where will we stop? Will we stop at "becoz" or will we go further and simplify "friend" as "frend" and "friends" as "frendz"? Where will simplification of English end and standardization of SMSese (a "language" I abhor) begin? 

Pleading "Not Guilty"

Note: I had been planning this post for a long time but now seemed like a good time to post it because I came across the The Women's Web 'Mommy Guilt' Contest. Mommy Guilt is omnipresent, but it doesn't have to consume us!

I often joke that the only trips I take are the Guilt Trips that the states of being a mother, daughter, wife and friend induce. I am way too familiar with the feeling of guilt. The pensiveness, the tension. The nagging feeling that you are responsible for someone else's unhappiness or misfortune. Oddly tough, the guilt I suffer the least is Mommy Guilt. I guess I have been through too much to have already realized that NOTHING is under your control as a parent. 

I had no problem conceiving my first child. It seemed like we decided to have kids, started trying and Boom! I was pregnant. Well, not right away. It took us two tries because the first month we were so tired we fell asleep during the baby making process. (Yeah mom!! That's what happened and it IS funny so don't run away now. Read the entire post :P You too, bro! :D) Then, 3 years later, we decided to bring another child into this world and started trying. And kept trying. And trying. And trying. For four years. And then a bulb went "Ping!" in our brains! WE NEEDED HELP!! So then began the trips to Infertility specialists and clinics and various labs. And the Guilt Monster raised its ugly head - maybe I hadn't been taking good care of myself, maybe I was too fat, maybe I had waited too long and my biological clock was all ticked out. The nice specialists we met slowly, but surely debunked all my maybe's. Women heavier than me got pregnant all the time and the test results showed nothing was wrong with me or J. At 35, my biological clock was fine too. Ours was "Idiopathic Infertility". I define it as "A condition where idiots, who have already conceived once, fail to conceive". I have found that humor is great for dissipating guilt :D 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs later, M came along. Now I look at M and tell myself "There is NO WAY I am feeling guilty any more!"

Working-Mommy-Guilt has been the easiest to deal with. I grew up watching my mom juggle a job with family and housework and saw how she did it all. She actually made it look easy and fun AND fulfilling. So I always knew where I stood in this regard. In the "want to work outside of home" camp. Thankfully, with flexi-time and the good (albeit expensive) childcare options available to us here, it has been manageable AND fulfilling so far. What could be wrong in providing my kids with a secure financial future AND providing them with a happy and content mom? I see no reason to feel guilty there.

I have already written about how I realized that, as a parent, I can't really control everything my child does (or goes through). AT the age of 5, S developed Alopecia Areata. For days, even months and probably years, I tried to find reasons to blame myself. Maybe I didn't give her proper nutrition. Maybe I stressed her out with my discipline or over-scheduled her. Or, maybe, I gave her defective genes. Maybe my house was not clean enough or I was too anal about the cleanliness. ANYTHING that would give me a reason why my daughter was suffering from such an emotionally traumatic condition. Unfortunately, all the doctors we met slowly and methodically destructed all my reasons. Alopecia does not have a known cause, they told me. Then they proceeded to prove it with the umpteen tests they ordered - each test came back normal. Nothing was wrong with my child - except that she had lost 99% of her hair. 

Those were tough days. J and I would sweep up bags full of S' hair from the carpet,  and the vacuum would still clog up and whine in rage with the hair still left behind on the carpet. We painstakingly gathered all the hair that WAS left on S' scalp and tried to cover her head with it so the bald patches wouldn't show. We tried not to discuss how torn we were, in front of S. To her we presented an optimistic facade - that everything will be alright. That she will get all her hair back one day soon and this would be a nightmare left behind, never to be remembered again. She did get her hair back, but the nightmare hasn't been forgotten. She still gets bald patches here and there on her scalp but it isn't as bad either - we no longer fill bags after bags with her hair. 

It used to break my heart to see her try to cover a bald spot or to have her request me to fill out her missing eyebrow with an eyeliner. It is becoming easier to see her figure out ways to hide those bald spots and still look stunning. No that is not my mommy-pride speaking. Her self-confidence makes her shine. I know she still struggles internally with the condition. Still curses it. Hates the way her newly grown hair sticks out from between the rest of the hair. It is a constant battle between her hair and the gel she applies to keep the stray strands down. But I also see a strong woman emerging from within her. A girl who has gone through, and is still struggling with, Alopecia Areata. A girl who, just last year, had an allergic reaction so bad it would have had a grown man howling and is still struggling with the newly developed allergies that she didn't have before now, is now turning into a confident, still kind and loving (despite all the struggle) woman who makes her parents proud each and every moment of their lives. A girl whose teachers write emails to her parents singing praises of how she is the most loving and polite student they have ever met. A girl whose teachers/ school administrators stop me in the school office to joke how they wishe she would get at least one B grade because it just isn't possible for anyone to get all A's. (And I can't tell you how proud that makes me because she got those A's WHILE she was struggling with her severe allergic reactions and outbreaks). She has been the answer to my mommy-guilt. I see her and I see how she has turned out despite all the hardships she has faced, and I say to myself "There is NO WAY I am feeling guilty for THAT!"




Edited to add: This post was considered a "notable entry" in the contest here.

"I" of the storm

 Sue has started a Red Marker Blogathon which goes like this:

"If some word/phrase/idiom/spelling/syntax/punctuation incorrectly used drives you up the wall, blog about it.

The only rule is that you must explain what is wrong with the usage that it bothers you so and you must also explain the proper usage.
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You can blog about any language you like, there is no need to restrain yourselves to English.

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Please leave me your link as a comment at this post when you're done. Feel free to send me links of other participants you've noticed.

Pass the word, tag people you know who have opinions on this"

There are so many mistakes people make that irritate me. Yeah well - I am a cranky old hag. What will YOU do about it, HUH??! Many others have jumped in to utilize this opportunity to voice their irritation. I'll list a couple in this post. Then we'll see if my cranky old hag-gy mind can remember more.

The improper usage of "I" gets my goat. 

"The boss gave Shelley and I a tough task". 

That red marker up there does look ugly, isn't it? Well, I'll leave it there. Just as a reminder to SHAPE UP OR I WILL HOUND YOU WITH A RED MARKER!!! Phew! Yes, thank you. 

I think according to the rules I must clarify what's wrong with this usage. The simple rule is - when using "I" in a sentence like this, remove the other name/pronoun and see if the sentence still makes sense with "I". In this case "The boss gave I a tough task" - ummmmmm.... doesn't quite sound right to me! Don't use those I's indiscriminately people!! Now someone saying "John/My husband and I wish you a very happy New Year" is saying it correctly, so don't you go after them with the dreadful red marker!!!

Another thing that just sends me deeeeeep into the cranky, old hag-dom? The usage of the word "thingie" to describe anything that you cannot remember or do not know the name of. 

Like that... that thingie you use to describe a person or a thing, you know!

You mean an adjective? Oh THAT!!

Don't come and start sentences like "You know that round, flat thingie in your kitchen...?" The "round, flat thingie" must have a name. Is it a plate? a button? A pill? UFO? (Though what would it do in my kitchen is beyond me) Frisbee?? WHATTTT???????

Tell me the darned NAME or I will beat you to a pulp with that long, wooden, cylindrical-ish thingie I have in my kitchen! I call it a ROLLING PIN!!