Living it up...

..at the Great Wolf Lodge in Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania. This trip is a birthday present for S but much needed for the entire family. Baby M (who isn't a baby any more, by the way) can't stop skipping. S gets her own room den. We have rented the Wolf Den Suite. What fun!! Photos to follow.

Happy Halloween everyone!!

Happy Birthday mah dahlin'

11 years ago, at this moment (in India) I was in the labor room. Eagerly straining waiting to see if I'll get my wish - a baby girl. I did!

Happy birthday darling. May you live to be... a hundred and three... and many more, many more....

I still miss you...

It's been a year, but is there a limit on mourning? Or a way of doing it? I have been quite easy on the mourning rituals. Celebrated some occasions (S' birthday, J's 40th birthday, M's birthday) and didn't celebrate others. I went with what my gut told me - if I felt sad upon thinking of celebrating an occasion, I didn't. Mostly because it was connected to you somehow. Like Diwali and Holi. You enjoyed celebrating them. I didn't feel like celebrating them with you gone. Even now, when the year is up, I am ambiguous about celebrating them. They probably won't be the same now. When you were alive, even with you thousands of miles away, festivals felt like festivals. I have often wondered how, when a loved one leaves us, the whole world seems empty. It didn't matter that you lived thousands of miles away and I got to see you only once every two years. You were here. Now you aren't. And the world seems empty.

On the positive side, I am not so afraid of dying anymore. I believe I will meet you when I do. And any place that you are in, couldn't be scary, right?? So I am not afraid of the other side any more.

I miss you.