Wednesday, December 30, 2009
This is an improvement
I wrote about Ruchika's Girhotra's case yesterday. It depressed the hell out of me, agitated me to a state of wordlessness and left me seething. Today I read this piece of news. The Law and Order machinery in India seems to have woken up finally and it looks like the guilty might get punished.
But what I am wondering about is - do they expect Rathore to just sit at home, waiting for them to come arrest him while they go around the world declaring their intentions of bringing him to justice?? Don't they expect him to run and hide? Or is that what they expect exactly? Should be really convenient for all parties concerned - the government gets to save face, Rathore escapes any serious punishment and Ruchika's family gets fucked once again. The skeptic in me always looks at the possibilities hidden in a situation.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I am sick
No, not only in the physical sense. I am sick. Like a dying dog. But THIS makes me sick to my stomach. I am ashamed to be from a country where women and girls are treated no better than cattle. I am afraid to R2I because I have two daughters and I do not want them to be touched by even the shadows of something like this. I do understand that such things don't happen as much any more. Or don't they? Maybe they still happen all the time all over the place. We just don't get to hear about them because they are squashed by the powerful or never uttered by the powerless.
I found it extremely hard to read the entire Wikipedia article. My gut started revolting, my skin started crawling almost halfway through it. I couldn't read any more. But I forced myself to read it. Please do follow the link I have provided above and read the entire article. Then come back and tell me - is there a solution to this??
I am copy-pasting the article from Wikipedia here too. Such blatant misuse of power, such shameless support of the guilty and such torture of the innocent! I feel like saying "It happens only in...." but I can't bring myself to say it because I know there are good things happening too. But the fact remains that India has a long way to go where fair treatment of the powerless, and fair justice TO the powerful is concerned. It is SICKENING!!
Here is the Wikipedia article:
Background
Ruchika, the daughter of SC Girhotra, a bank manager, was a student in Class X A (Batch of 1991) at Sacred Heart School for Girls in Chandigarh, and a budding tennis player. Her mother passed away when she was ten years old.[3][4]
She, along with her friend Aradhana Parkash, was enrolled as a trainee at the Haryana Lawn Tennis Association (HLTA). A few young girls played in tennis court situated in Panchkula's Sector 6. [5]
Aradhana's parents Anand and Madhu Parkash fought the long legal battle for justice for Ruchika, attending over 400 hearings, after Ruchika's father and brother had to leave Panchkula due to harrasment. Advocates Pankaj Bhardwaj and Meet Malhotra fought the case for free since 1996.[5]
Born in 1941 and a 1966-Batch IPS officer of the Haryana Cadre, Rathore was on deputation to Bhakhra Beas Management Board as Director, Vigilance and Security, when he molested Ruchika. He was the founding president of the Haryana Lawn Tennis Association and it's office was in the garage of his house, at 469, Sector-6, Panchkula. The house was then under construction. Rathore continues to reside there.[6]
Rathore's wife Abha is an advocate. She defended his case from the beginning.[5] She practises law in Panchkula and Chandigarh from her office in Sector 6, Panchkula.[7] Ajay Jain was counsel for Rathore while the case was before courts in Ambala.[8]
Rathore's daughter Priyanjali was Ruchika's classmate. She is now a practising lawyer.[3] His son Rahul also practises law at the Punjab and Haryana High Court with Rahul Rathore Advocates.[9]
[edit]Molestation
On seeing both of them, Rathore asked Aradhana to call the tennis coach (Mr.Thomas) to his room.
Aradhana left, and Rathore was alone with Ruchika. He immediately grabbed her hand and waist and pressed his body against hers. Ruchika tried to push him away, but he continued molesting her.[10]
But Aradhana returned half way and witnessed what was going on. On seeing her, Rathore released Ruchika and fell back in his chair. He then asked Aradhana to go out of his room and personally bring the coach with her. When she refused, Rathore rebuked Aradhana loudly, asking her to bring the coach. He insisted that Ruchika stayed in his room, but she managed to run out.[10]
Ruchika told Aradhana everything that happened. Both girls did not tell anybody at first. The next day, they did not go to play tennis. The following day, August 14, they did play till 6:30 pm. As they were leaving, the ball picker, Patloo, told them Rathore had called them to his office.[10] It was then that Ruchika and Anuradha decided to tell their parents about the incident.
They could not contact either CM Hukum Singh or Home Minister Sampat Singh, but met Home Secretary J K Duggal, who, on August 17, 1990, discussed the matter with the Home Minister and asked DGP Ram Rakshpal Singh to investigate.[11][12]
Rathore allegedly paid some residents of Rajiv Colony (a slum) in Panchkula and also garnered the support of people from his community in Naraingarh, Ambala district. They staged dharnas outside the office and home of RR Singh.[13]
On September 3, 1990, the inquiry report submitted by RR Singh to Home Secretary J K Duggal indicted Rathore.[11] It recommended that an FIR be filed immediately against Rathore. Duggal forwarded the report to the Home Minister Sampat Singh, who failed to forward it to the Chief Minister for necessary action.[14] The Home Secretary who replace Duggal never followed up on the report.[14]
The report also revealed that an ex-MLA, Jagjeet Singh Tikka, organised a large group of men to shout slogans in front of Ruchika's house and harass her family.[14] Rathore enjoyed the patronage of both the Hukam Singh and the Om Prakash Chautala governments. [15][16][17]
Instead of filing an FIR as recommended by the report, the government preferred departmental action, issuing a chargesheet against the accused on May 28, 1991. However, the legal remembrancer (who gives opinion to the government on legal issues) R K Nehru in his opinion in 1992 suggested that state government was not competent to issue the chargesheet, adding it would be quite legal and proper to get the FIR registered. Then, the CM Bhajan Lal's office had referred the case to chief secretary for advice. But nothing happened finally.[11]
[edit]Harrasment
On September 20, 1990, two weeks after the inquiry indicted Rathore, Ruchika was expelled from her school, Sacred Heart School for Girls, in Sector 26, Chandigarh. Ruchika had studied there from Class I. The school actively plotted against Ruchika. The official reason for her expulsion was non-payment of fees. The school had actually refused to accept her fees. No notice was given to Ruchika for non-payment of fees, as is the school's normal procedure. The school's brochure states that non-payment of fees can only lead to being disallowed to take exams. It is not grounds for expulsion.[18][19] A reason of alleged 'indiscipline' was also put forward by the school. This was later used by Rathore's lawyers to question Ruchika's character.
After her expulsion, Ruchika confined herself indoors. Whenever she went out she was followed and abused by Rathore's henchmen.[20]
False cases of theft, murder and civil defamation were filed against Ruchika's father and her 10 year old brother Ashu. Five theft cases against Ashu were registered by Sub-Inspector Prem Dutt and one case by Assistant Sub-Inspector Sewa Singh.[21] The cases were filed when KP Singh was the superintendent of police, Ambala. Singh is now the Inspector General of police in Haryana.[14]
Cases were filed against Anand Parkash, his wife Madhu, and their minor daughter Aradhana.
Anand Parkash worked as Chief Engineer in the Haryana State Agriculture Marketing Board and had a spotless record until this incident. Rathore then instigated more than 20 complaints against him. He was suspended from his job for some time and demoted to Superintendent Engineer. He was eventually given premature retirement. He did, however, challenge the government orders and was given relief by the court and cleared of all the complaints.[22][23]
Aradhana, who is the sole witness in the molestation case, had ten civil cases filed against her by Rathore. She received abusive and threatening calls for months until she got married and left for Australia.[22] Pankaj Bhardwaj, the lawyer who took up Ruchika's case, was slapped with two court cases by Rathore -a defamation case and a case for compensation.[22]
When Rathore was heading the vigilance team in the Haryana State Electricity Board (HSEB), he sent special teams from Bhiwani to raid houses of several of his complainants.[22] Rathore also filed two cases against each of the journalists who had reported on the matter - one criminal and another civil - demanding compensation of Rs. 1 crore each.[22]
On September 23 1993, Ruchika's then 13 year old brother, Ashu, was picked up in the market place near his house by police in plain clothes. They drove him in a jeep to the Crime Investigation Agency (CIA) Staff Office in Mansa Devi. There, he was tortured by Sub-Inspector Prem Dutt and Assistant Sub-Inspector Sewa Singh.[21]
His hands were tied on his back and he was made to bend. His feet were tied with a weight. He was kept in this uncomfortable position for an extended period of time.[20]
After some time, Rathore also arrived there. Ashu was then tortured further. A roller, referred to by the police as "Mussal', was rolled on his legs and thighs after four constables boarded the roller. [24] [25]
While still in illegal confinement, Ashu was taken to his house and beaten mercilessly in front of Ruchika by Rathore. Rathore then threatened her, saying that if she did not take back the complaint, her father, and then she herself, would face the same fate. [26][27] Ashu was paraded in handcuffs in his neighbourhood.[28]
Ashu was picked up again on November 11, 1993. He was tortured again and was unable to walk due to the beatings. He was not given food or water for days at a stretch and was beaten mercilessly. He was repeatedly told to convince his sister to withdraw her complaint.[28] He was allegedly forced to sign on blank papers, which were used by the police to show his "confessions" that he stole 11 cars.[24] He would not be released until after his sister's suicide.[24]
No charges were ever framed in any of these cases filed against Ashu.[14]
The Panchkula Chief Judicial Magistrate exonerated Ashu in 1997, saying he had "no hesitation to pinpoint that nothing is on record to prima facie indict the accused" and that the disclosure statement made by the main accused, Gajinder Singh, was "just wastepaper".[29]
Gajinder Singh, a resident of Bihar, had been arrested by the Panchkula Police for a car theft and police claimed he had named Ashu and Sandeep as his accomplices. Singh later absconded and has been named a proclaimed offender.[30][29]
The Girhotra's one-kanal bungalow in Sector 6 Panchkula was forcibly sold to a lawyer working for Rathore.[26] Ruchika's father was suspended from his job as bank manager, on charges of alleged corruption, after coercion from Rathore.[22] They moved to the outskirts of Simla, and had to take up earth filling to make a living.[31]
[edit]Suicide
Perversely, Rathore threw a party that night to celebrate. [32]
Ruchika's father Subash was forced by the police to sign blank sheets of paper in order to take possession of Ruchika's body. The fact that his son Ashu was still in illegal police detention was also used to coerce him. The blank papers were later used by the police to establish that the family had accepted Ruchika's forged autopsy report. [33] The day Ruchika committed suicide, Ashu was unconscious in CIA lock-up. He had been stripped naked and beaten the previous night by drunk policemen. He was brought back to his house, still unconscious, after her last rites were over.[25][24]
Rathore tried to hide the fact that Ruchika's death was suicide, since an FIR would need to be lodged. He doctored the inquest report, changing the cause of death to consumption of slimming pills. The police coerced Ruchika's nanny to pose as his mother and record a statement saying her "daughter" died from consuming medicines to reduce weight.[4]
However, the doctors' report clearly said she had died after consuming a chloro-compound, used for insecticides.[34]
In the inquest and the postmortem report, the name Ruchika was replaced with her nickname Ruby, and her father's name was changed to Subhash Chander Khatri.[34] This was to ensure that anyone reading the report would not know it pertains to Ruchika.[35]
The government closed the case filed against Rathore less than a week after her death.[36]
Unable to bear the harassment, her family moved out of Chandigarh.[2]
Just a few months later, Rathore was promoted to additional DGP in November 1994, when Bhajan Lal was chief minister. [17]
[edit]Case Dropped
In Oct 1999, the INLD government led by Om Prakash Chautala made Rathore the police chief (DGP) of the state.[17] His name was even recommended for a President's Police Medal For Distinguished Service by the same government in November 1999.[37] Birbal Das Dhalia, who as then Home Secretary, defended the decision, saying there was no chargesheet.[38]
[edit]Ashu Case
Ashu's case had reached before the HC following suo motu cognizance taken of a media report highlighting his plight[32], by justice Mehtab Singh Gill on December 12, 2000. The then chief justice had referred the matter before a division bench comprising justice N K Sodhi and justice N K Sood.[34]
While deposing before the division bench, Ashu stated that he had undergone inhuman treatment at the instance of Rathore and the Panchkula police. This was his first statement since the family was forced to leave Panchkula. At the time of making the statement, the family was living in Sector-2, New Shimla.[34]
On December 13, 2000, the division bench voiced support for compensation to Ashu for the harassment caused to him at the hands of Panchkula police. [30]
Rathore filed an affidavit in 2001 denying the allegations.[20]
The HC then referred the inquiry to sessions judge Patiala. On September 3, 2002, Ashu detailed the torture he was put through to a Patiala Sessions Court.[20][34]
But Rathore approached the Supreme Court and got the high court order quashed on technical grounds.[25]
[edit]CBI Enquiry
On August 21, 1998, the Punjab and Haryana High Court directed the CBI to conduct an inquiry.
The High Court had ordered completion of investigation of the case and filing of chargesheet expeditiously, "preferably within six months".[39]However, more than a year passed before the CBI filed a chargesheet.[39]
On November 16, 2000, the CBI filed a charge sheet against Rathore.
Despite the CBI chargesheet, the Chautala government allowed Rathore to continue as police chief. [17]
The case was put to hearing in the CBI special court in Ambala from November 17. The hearings in Ambala would continue till May 2006.[17]
The chargesheet was filed only under Section 354 (molestation). Abetment to suicide was inexplicably not included.[39]
On October 8, 2001, counsel for Anand Parkash moved an application demanding the addition of abetment to suicide (306 of IPC) against Rathore. In a scathing judgment on October 23, 2001, Special CBI Judge Jagdev Singh Dhanjal demanded that the offence be added. In his 21-page judgement, the CBI Judge underlined witness statements, including those of Ruchika's father, Anand Parkash, friend Aradhana and others in adding Section 306 (abetment) of IPC against Rathore.[40][41]
However, in February 2002, Justice K C Kathuria of the Punjab and Haryana High Court dismissed the CBI court's decision to register an FIR against Rathore for abetment to suicide, claiming the lack of a complaint regarding harassment. [30] Kathuria is now the President of the Haryana State Consumer Disputes Redressal Commission.
Incredibly, after filing the chargesheet in 2000, the CBI took 7 years to record evidence from 16 prosecution witnesses. On the other hand, the defence counsel took nine months to complete examination of 13 out of the total 17 witnesses.[39]
Rathore tried to use his influence with the CBI. R M Singh, who was CBI Joint Director in 1998 and retired in 2001, said Rathore was tracking the case. Once the file arrived at Singh's desk, he started getting frequent visits to his office from Rathore. Rathore visited multiple times in 1998, trying to influence the CBI to clear him on all charges. Rathore had learnt that Singh was constructing a house in Gurgaon, and offered to provide building materials and other assistance. Singh also found out that Rathore had also approaced the Investigating Officer for the case, Rajesh Ranjan, CBI's Deputy Superintendent of Police. When he failed to influence the officers, Rathore had the case transferred. Rathore enjoyed access to all levels of the CBI since he was DGP.[32][42]
Ruchika's was one of the few cases heard in three subordinate courts of three different states: Haryana, Punjab and Chandigarh - apart from one in high court and the Supreme Court as well. Around 15 applications were accepted in Punjab and Haryana High Court on behalf of Rathore, a strategy meant to delay the case.[43]
For example, on January 23, 2006, Rathore moved an application demanding transfer of trial from Ambala CBI Special Magistrate Ritu Garg to any other court. The application was moved when evidence of only two prosecution witnesses was remaining. The grounds claimed was that Rathore knew Ritu's father and that Rathore's son Rahul was a friendly with Ritu.[44] Surprisingly, the CBI didn't object. In his the reply filed in February 2006, S S Lakra, the then Additional Superintendent of Police, New Delhi, said he did not object to the transfer, allegedly so the case would "conclude expeditiously". The case was then transferred to Patiala.[44] Again when the case was at the last stage, Rathore accused the then Special CBI Judge, Patiala, Rakesh Kumar Gupta of overawing the defence witnesses and scolding Rathore. This time also the CBI did not object to transferring of the case to Chandigarh.[44]
Rathore also used other technical grounds like demanding that the trial be videographed to cause more delays. Ironically, he later claimed that the long delays were grounds for a reduced sentence.[45]
On November 5, 2009, the case was transferred from the Ambala court to CBI Chandigarh. In December, the court closed all final arguments, gave its verdict and on December 21, special judge J.S. Sidhu[46] pronounced a six-month jail sentence and a fine of Rs 1000 to Rathore.[47] He was granted bail minutes after the sentencing, after furnishing a bail bond of Rs.10,000. Rathore also said he would appeal against the verdict.[24]
[edit]Impact
The case was brought up for debate in Parliament. "After 19 years, the criminal has been found guilty but all he got as punishment was 6 months in prison. Within 10 minutes of conviction, he was out on bail. Is it not a shame for all of us?" asked CPI (M) leader Brinda Karat.[48]
Former Haryana CM Om Prakash Chautala, when asked about the case, dismissed it as a "frivolous issue". It was during his rule that Rathore was promoted to police chief (DGP) for Haryana. After the public outcry over the case, Chautala backtracked and accused the courts and the ruling Congress Government in Haryana of "letting Rathore off with a light punishment."[49] Ruchika's father has blamed Chautala for actively supporting Rathore as he harassed his family.[50]
Aradhna Parkash has started a signature drive to reopen the case. The email address is 'joinaradhna4ruchika at gmail.com'.[51]
Friday, December 18, 2009
A Class A-holes or just idiots?
Say, you launch a product in a country. And then bar the residents of that country from entering the showroom. Which business school teaches this kind of idiocy?
Mr. Anindo Mukherji, Managing Director of General Mills India has issued a media statement saying the posters (declaring only holders of international passports will be allowed access) were put up to create an aura around the brand and that they regret it very much. Well, they should! What did they think? Indians are still living in the British Raj era and will take any insult thrown their way? Idiots!!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
What do you do?
When someone won't listen to you?
You are, say, putting up a "car port" (tent) with them for one of your cars. Your region has some really unpredictable weather patterns. You are worried that some day the tent will just get blown away by the strong winds that sometimes invade with all ferocity. Your concerns are pooh-poohed away. Support is sought from your mom and the BOTH of them shoot down your suggestion to nail down the pegs of the tent.
Then, say, one day a strong wind does blow the tent 20 feet into a tree. What do you do?
You help them pull the tent back in the blistering winds. Then you say "I told you so!" Over and over. Then come inside and blog about it.
That's what you do :D (And then you even email them this post :P:P)
Friday, December 04, 2009
Sometimes, when I don't have anything better to do
I check the spam folder in my email. And find nuggets like this one:
Hello! You are welcomed by marriage agency. To you the young girl looking the partner in life has shown interest. We send you a photo of this girl, and as her email the address *insert fake email address here which will actually lead you to a porn site or something*. She will wait for your letter. We guarantee confidentiality of correspondence.
Yours faithfully marriage agency.
So, what say? Should I go get married?
Thursday, November 26, 2009
A true global integration
is when Indians celebrate Thanksgiving (an American Holiday) by getting together and eating Chinese food!
Yep - the menu for this year's Thanksgiving Dinner hosted by the Kays is:
Appetizers: Sweet corn soup, spring rolls.
Main Course: Veg Fried rice, Chow Mein, Veg Manchurian and Chili Paneer
Dessert: Cheesecake
Happy Thanksgiving all!!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The rebellious teenager
Mommy(singing): Where is Ninni? Where is Ninni? Here I am! Here I am! How are you today Ninni? Fine thank you! Fine thank you!
Ninni(grumpily): NO fine thankyou!!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
We are all the same
Outside M's daycare:
I saw a hunky dad in long hair, with a car seat in his hand, coming out of the daycare and I went "Oooooooooooooooh!!" *wolf whistle* (the wolf whistle was inside my mind)
Inside the daycare (as I walked in with M):
One of the daycare providers came out of a room with an infant in her arms and asked another "Did you SEE his dad??!!" and the other one went "Oh yeah!!" *wolf whistle* (The wolf whistle, I am sure, was inside their minds. It was definitely on their faces :P)
LOL!!
Note: J, I still love you and ONLY you. This was just one incident where my inner, primitive woman came out :P:P:P
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I think...
...it is time I stopped blaming various elements from my past for ruining my chances at having a decent career and took charge of my future. What say?
But how?
I know I need more certifications (due to the lack of professional experience) to beef up my resume. I even attended a training in mid-august after which I could have easily cleared the certification for that technology but right around that time I got a job offer and had to join that job in quite a haste. I just got one week to put my affairs in order - finding childcare being the main one. Now my routine is hectic and I barely get enough time to cook, clean (some) and do some exercise. The exercise, I feel, is the most important and most required part of my routine. I need to get back in shape if I don't want to land with various ailments as I get older. My biggest fear is that I will develop diabetes if I don't lose some weight fast.
This is my general routine:
6.30 am - wake up. Get ready for work. Pack lunches etc.
7.55 am - Out the door. Drop S off at her school then drop M off at her daycare.
8.30 am - Arrive at work.
8.30 am - 5.30 pm - Work, work, work (and exchange a few emails with some friends)
5.30 pm - Leave for home.
6.15 pm - Get home. Start cooking dinner. Make and pack lunches for the next day.
8.00 pm - Go to the gym. This is an iffy part. Some days I can't manage to go.
9.15 pm - Get back from gym. Eat dinner. Watch a TV program (or half). Clean up the kitchen. Make list for the next day - what to pack in whose lunch bag etc.
10.30 pm - Take a shower. Check email. Blog. Clean up a little around the house if I am feeling up to it.
11.30 pm - Get in bed.
Repeat Monday to Friday.
Now the only time I can take out to study is the hour long lunch break that I get at work. Will try that. It is like a vicious circle - I can't get work if I don't study and I can't study if I work. And I can study only if I am earning something to be able to pay the tuition. What a mess!!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Privacy shrivacy
When I hear parents of young (even VERY young) kids talking about their kids' privacy, I choke on my own spit. I get the concept of privacy for certain things - like privacy when they use the bathroom. But there ARE situations when a parent might have to invade his/her kid's privacy. If I were afraid my daughter were falling in with the wrong crowd or were using drugs, I wouldn't hesitate in snooping around. To me, it is more important to have her well and alive on this earth somewhere, than to have her living with me and/or on talking terms with me. If I invaded her privacy for a valid reason, she found out and got upset with me, I'd live with that. But to suspect, not do anything and then to find out she made a huge mistake - I wouldn't be able to live with that. And of course, I am going to resort to snooping only when I have exhausted all other avenues of talking with her or having some other trusted adult talk to her. To me, that is love. Tough love.
So, what would you do?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
What is the point..
... of keeping the treadmill at full incline and then walking as you literally hang on to the handrails? And of almost doubling over with effort because the weights you are training with are too heavy for you to lift?
The mistaken assumption of "more is better" I suppose.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Priorities
Edited to add J's comments at the end
Gas for driving 220 miles @ $2.27/gal (10 gallons): $22.70
Grocery for the next 4 months: $286.58
Bags carried from car to kitchen: 17
Hours spent driving from and to home: 3.75
Friends met: 2
Getting a haircut you will love to live with for the next 4 months: Priceless!!
Here is what J had to say about this post-
Gas price @2:79/gal (10 gallons): $27.90
Haircut : Looks good J
Sunday, November 08, 2009
When you can't think of anything at all
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Simple suggestions
You tell your wife you like long hair?
Grow yours, by all means!
You want you and your wife to have the same last name?
Sure, take up her name!
You like pierced noses?
Get your own done.
Just some simple suggestions!
Friday, November 06, 2009
A fleeting moment
...etched in her mind.
They are walking back from the restaurant, after having had lunch together. She shivers. There is a cold breeze. She has her coat in her hands, but was too lazy to put it on. He chides her for not putting it on, then extends his arm around her shoulder and shields her as best as he can. Who'll say it is soon going to be 14 years?
A fleeting, tender moment.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
From "I lolue" to "GO AWAY!!"
We have come a long way. Now not-a-baby-anymore-M wants only her dad. Mom is under the "go away" status. Didi, who used to be under that status is now exempt from it because, frankly, what do you do when you want to avoid mom at all costs and dad is, say, in the bathroom? You go to didi, that's what!!
I don't know whether to be sad or upset at this. So I choose to laugh at it!
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
A recipe for disaster
I went to a women's clothing two nights ago. While I was standing at the counter to pay for my purchases, a sales associate returned with a driver's license and "returned" it to me. It belonged to the woman who paid for her purchases before me - she must have applied for their store credit card because that is when they ask for your social security number and driver's license (to complete the application). She had drifted away to look at some other things. Now, if I had even a little bit of criminal tendencies, this was a great chance for me to make away with that driver's license. Instead I refused to take the card saying it didn't belong to me. The woman whom the card belonged to probably didn't realize how lucky she was that I wasn't someone looking for easy money/credit. I could have simply walked away with the card and used it to apply for new credit cards or open new bank accounts or possibly empty out her current ones. I would have been at least one step closer to doing all that.
I always follow one rule when handing out a credit card or an ID card to someone - I keep my wallet open in my hands until I get my card back. It has become a habit now. If I have my wallet open in my hands (while waiting for someone to finish processing some transaction), it means they have my card. Recently this habit saved me from losing my older daughter's Insurance card. I had given it to the receptionist at a doctor's office to copy for their records. She got caught up with other work while I waited and only after I reminded her did she remember to return it to me.
So a little bit of gyaan in today's world full of identity theft risk - never leave your ID card unattended in another person's hands. DO NOT drift away while someone else is taking down your information from it.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
To elaborate on my last post
No, I am not turning my blog into a Quotable Quotes repository. One - I was testing the post by email functionality of blogger. Two - I really had that thought in my mind for the last few days.
I have been through some emotionally tough times recently. Nothing drastic, just something that was a culmination of the medicines I am taking for various conditions and events that have happened in the last year. I had been feeling very down in the dumps, felt like something was pulling me down deep and keeping me there. Please notice the past tense in the previous sentences. I don't feel that way any more. Not all the time anyway. And THAT makes all the difference in my outlook on my life.
A few months ago, I was so blue I could find NOTHING in my life that was worth living for. I was, even in my darkest times, thankful for what I have - a wonderful husband, two beautiful miracles of kids, a great family including my mom and brother who care a lot about me. But even these positives couldn't overcome the shadows on my mind.
About three months ago, I stopped taking one medication that was adding to the depression - the progesterone. Slowly my emotional condition started to improve. Now I am at a point where I still sometimes get blue but those times are far and few between. And not as intense. While earlier I would get all engulfed into the darkness, now I skillfully tread the waters until the darkness dissolves. I had begun thinking of myself as a complete and utter loser. Now I think I will be a loser only if I give up. I won't. And that makes for the previous random thought.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Sunday, November 01, 2009
One thing that bugs me about cooking shows
is that the cooks/chefs featured in them don't think twice about tasting a dish they are cooking and then dipping the spoon back in it. Ugh!! There is this concept of food getting "jootha" in India that I cannot explain properly in English. I don't know if there is an equivalent word in English. When someone eats from a plate, or tastes with a spoon, it is considered "jootha". Now if you dip that spoon back into the pan/pot, the entire pot is considered jootha. Makes sense to me too - when you put a spoon in your mouth, you transfer germs from your mouth/saliva to the spoon and when that spoon is dipped back into the pot, the germs are then transferred to the entire contents. I just don't think it is very hygienic.
Another thing I have noticed in some shows is that the chefs don't wash their hands properly even after handling meat. Another hygiene alarm. I don't think I'd be able to eat in their kitchen with a carefree mind!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Living it up...
..at the Great Wolf Lodge in Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania. This trip is a birthday present for S but much needed for the entire family. Baby M (who isn't a baby any more, by the way) can't stop skipping. S gets her own room den. We have rented the Wolf Den Suite. What fun!! Photos to follow.
Happy Halloween everyone!!
Happy Birthday mah dahlin'
11 years ago, at this moment (in India) I was in the labor room. Eagerly straining waiting to see if I'll get my wish - a baby girl. I did!
Happy birthday darling. May you live to be... a hundred and three... and many more, many more....
Saturday, October 03, 2009
I still miss you...
It's been a year, but is there a limit on mourning? Or a way of doing it? I have been quite easy on the mourning rituals. Celebrated some occasions (S' birthday, J's 40th birthday, M's birthday) and didn't celebrate others. I went with what my gut told me - if I felt sad upon thinking of celebrating an occasion, I didn't. Mostly because it was connected to you somehow. Like Diwali and Holi. You enjoyed celebrating them. I didn't feel like celebrating them with you gone. Even now, when the year is up, I am ambiguous about celebrating them. They probably won't be the same now. When you were alive, even with you thousands of miles away, festivals felt like festivals. I have often wondered how, when a loved one leaves us, the whole world seems empty. It didn't matter that you lived thousands of miles away and I got to see you only once every two years. You were here. Now you aren't. And the world seems empty.
On the positive side, I am not so afraid of dying anymore. I believe I will meet you when I do. And any place that you are in, couldn't be scary, right?? So I am not afraid of the other side any more.
I miss you.
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