Proof that she was HUNGRY!!!

What do you do if

the best friend you want to share everything with IS the same friend you are throwing a surprise birthday party for? I have been DYING to share this with my best friend. I'll blog about it instead.

J turns 40 tomorrow, April 11th. I have planned a surprise party for him with a few close friends. Nothing too elaborate - just how he'd like it (I hope!) - 5 close friends and their families, all his favorite food, a few decorations, a cake and a lot of fun and laughter. Oh, and I am gifting him a "flight experience" - half an hour in a private plane. The pilot might even agree to fly the plane over our house (says so on their website :P) By the time this post gets published, we will be in the thick of it - the party, I mean.

To get him out of the house, so I can prepare for the party, I am gifting him two movie tickets to "Fast and Furious". I have enlisted help from a friend of his who will pick him up, take him to the movies and then for happy hour in a nearby bar and then bring him home when everyone has arrived. There the surprise will register and end pretty quickly because he is bound to figure everything out when he sees all those cars in our driveway. But it should be an interesting moment :)

The menu comprises of dishes he likes. Falafel, chholey tikiya, papdi chaat, dahi bade, daal kachori, matar (peas) samosas, shrikhand and baklava. Falalfel and baklava have been ordered from a restaurant he likes them from. Everything else will be made by yours truly. Well, except the cake. That responsibility has been handed over to another good friend who will order it from a bakery in NJ. A very haphazard menu but I hope he'll like it. I asked him what his favorite chaat items are and he thinks I am going to make them for him on his birthday for LUNCH! I have asked him to take us out for dinner :D I hope he doesn't know about the surprise and isn't just playing me along.

Well, I'll post an update on how it all goes. Till then, wish me luck!!

Update: It is 12.38 AM on April 11th. I have already gifted him the movie tickets and told him this is so he can get 2 hours without the three bhootnis who constantly badger him in this house :D I have told him that I am preparing so much food because I want to make his favorite food items ALL WEEK LONG. I don't know if he bought it. He did laugh and say "I'll see if it goes beyond 2 days" (That's because I am "famous" for changing the weekly menu umpteen times at the drop of a hat..... Well many hats)

More thoughts out loud

I wrote a post about a month back, about how I would be disappointed if S decided to go into a non-technical field professionally. It was more about my struggle with my preconceived notions than a comment on a particular field of profession. I got some interesting comments that served to widen my perspective but I got distracted by the Learning Disabilities posts and couldn't reply to these comments in time. So I decided to devote a post to these comments. I am extremely sorry for the delay in replying. Maybe you guys weren't expecting any (given my lax behavior in the past) but not being able to reply to comments always nags on my mind. My replies are in italics.

asaaan said...

I dont really care what she does in school as long she doesnt get married till she is in her(at least) late twenties.
Is that bad of me to want her to not be like me(didnt finish college, married at 20,first child at 22.)

Ohh I didnt know you had to chose electives in middle school. Ashwina will be going to 5th this fall and middle school fall 10.

Me: I don't know about it being bad (of you to want her to be not like you) but I think that isn't actually what you want. All you want is for her to not make the mistakes you made. And I am not saying here that you made mistakes - you do love your life the way it is now, don't you? Maybe you think she should make different choices because the choices you made wouldn't be right for her?

I didn't know about the elective either. This was new for us.

the mad momma said...

i understand. i'd be terribly disappointed if my kids were scienceys. i am very artisitic and you love to know that they share that link with you. would i deal with it? totally. its my prob, not theirs.

Me: Glad to have you on this side then! Yeah - I'd deal with it and not burden them with it.

roop said...

u got urself corrected towards the end. so no brickbats!! :P

u'll make the right decision when it's time. we have full faith in you. :)

Me: Thanks for the vote of confidence Roop :) And thanks for not throwing those brickbats too!

Subhashree said...

Yeah, I wouldn't mind if my kids chose whatever profession they want. But if it is in the same line as the husband and I am in, it'd be easier to guide them. Well, I don't even know if they'd want any guidance, but still I'd like to be prepared.

Me: Yeah - it isn't even about guidance I think. Is it probably the thought that by following in your field they are validating your choice of profession? Though why would I be looking for validation for my choice of profession in my children's actions is beyond me :P I think I am muddled in my mind. Don't really know why I would want her to be a techie. I just would!

dipali said...

What a sensible mother you are, Cee. We just muddled through, I think!

Me: Sensible?? I haven't heard the words "sensible" and "Cee" in the same sentence Dipali. Ever!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. I agree with tearsanddreams. I think its a very subtle distinction (being disappointed in her because you think its an inferior option and being disappointed because you lose a link to her). The danger is that your daughter may pick up on the disappointment and not on the reasons behind the disappointment, which as I said are very nuanced. And being well-behaved, one danger is that she may be very very subtly pushed into choosing a technology/science career which would make her happy but not terrifically happy.

otoh, I'm sure you've got it all sorted out and its good that you can see those differences and acknowledge them.

And I'm not sure I'd want to guide my daughter in a particular career, but I'd like to guide her about HOW to choose good work that would interest and excite her.

n!

Me: Maybe you are right. But I like to think that the communication between her and me is clear enough for me to be able to make her understand that I will stand by, and fully support, her choice of profession.

lumi said...

Each child is imbued with his or her own set of talents even though they were knit from our DNA. The beauty of education in America is that you can study and be whatever you want to be and don't have to have a predetermined idea of what it is you want to do in school before you get there.

Encourage your daughter to take as many different kinds of classes as possible. Obviously there is a need to have a solid foundation in math, science, and writing. The balance of her courses should be left up to her. There's nothing wrong with being a non-technically oriented professional. If she has a passion and talent to do something it should be cultivated.

Mini-me is a budding environmentalist but has a gifted eye behind the camera, plays the violin with joy, and could out draw me by the time she was five. I'm proud of her for pursuing her interests and talents.

Me: Yes, that is exactly what we did (encourage her to take varied classes). She has elected Arts and Dance as the first and third electives. Technology is second but J or I didn't force her to do that. She liked the content: Graphic designing, publishing, animation etc. We did discuss her reasons for selecting each elective. As for encouraging her non-technical interests - we do that. She plays the violin, loves painting and creating comics, also plays the piano pretty darned well and is taking gymnastics and tennis lessons :) Didn't like being on the swim team so we took her off - no hassles. So she KNOWS we will respect her wishes. By the way, I LOVE the American education system for the reasons you mentioned. I love the flexibility it gives one. I love how you don't get rigidly slotted into a field (arts, commerce or science) the moment you enter 11th grade. I love how you can still go into any field irrespective of the subjects you study in high school. Wish we had that when we were in shcool.

General Note: I never said there was anything wrong with being a non-technically oriented person. I would encourage her in any profession she took up sincerely. I was just talking about my own feelings. I do understand about kids picking up on our unspoken disappointment but I am trying to avoid that with open communication. At least, if she feels I am disappointed about something, she will come and ask me why. I am sure of that. I think! :P

Seventeen years??!

Happy anniversary, darling!

Sheepishly added: It is the anniversary of J proposing to me :P Not an "anniversary" anniversary. But we do celebrate it. With a hug and a kiss :)

Added later: And apparently with a bunch of roses! J just walked in with a dozen roses!!!