We finally dared!

Originally posted on DesiMomzClub for the club's Theme for December.

In the 12 years that we have been married, J and I have NEVER gone out on New Year's Eve. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? We are more of homebodies than we would actually care to admit. At first we didn't go out because we were living with my husband's parents and they kind of frowned upon it. By the time we came to America, we had S and we didn't go out because we didn't want to disrupt her routine. Besides, we liked the coziness of our house compared to the chilly air outside. Now we have M too, so going out on New Year's eve is unthinkable. Or so one would assume.

Today, after I came back from work, it suddenly occurred to me that I didn't really want to be stuck at home eating leftovers for dinner. So I managed to convince J to take us out for dinner. Initially we planned to go to an Indian restaurant but cancelled the plans when we called them and were told that the restaurant was packed. Then we decided to go to Bertucci's - an Italian restaurant. We were still concerned about how M will behave as she was already tired and starting to get cranky. But this baby of ours is a social animal - we realized long time back.

So we just got ready quickly and left. M behaved really well for most of the time. She only started getting restless towards the end and we were ready to leave by then. I have found a trick to minimizing her tantrums when we go out. I DON'T feed her before leaving. Yes. That's right! And that is because she loves to eat. So I feed her when we get where we are going. That always works well and always gives us some time before she gets cranky.

All in all, we had a good time tonight. So this was our "Dare to" project this December - to give me fodder for this month's theme! I had a completely different post in mind but hadn't gotten around to writing it. Then, while returning from the restaurant, it hit me that this fits the theme better. So, now you know what we never did before today and dared to do today :D

A fine line

A colleague and I were discussing war and the conversation veered towards terrorism. He quoted another colleague who had once said that whatever Islamic militants are doing is not terrorism, it is war. They don't have hi-tech war equipment like America so they use whatever they have (people, knowledge of the terrain), to their advantage. That is war. I say it still qualifies as terrorism because of the fact that they are targeting civilians. If they had aimed these tactics at the US army, I would have agreed that it is war. Heck, Shivaji used guerrilla tactics to win, and I admire him. But when innocent civilians are deliberately targeted and killed, it steps over into the territory of terrorism. I would love to engage that other colleague in a debate on this but he also happens to be my boss :(

Playing catch-up: 1

There are a lot of updates and tags to catch up with. Sometimes it feels all I am doing is playing catch up with things that need to be done. So, I am starting a "Catch-Up" series of posts. These are events that I have been meaning to record on this blog, but haven't had the time to. Like Halloween of '07.

I love Halloween. I comapre it to Holi for the fun factor. Yes, I love Holi too. And it has been almost 13 years since I played it :( Anyway - that's material for another post. So, I was saying...

I love having a carved, candle-lit pumpkin on the doorstep. I love the decoration many people put up. I love to stock up on candies for kids when they come "trick or treating". And I love to see their faces light up when I tell them they can take as many candies as they wish. Yes - even teenagers'.

This year, obviously, was extra special. We had one more costume to worry about. One more trick-or-treat bag to carry :D This year, like last year, we went to a near-by condominium complex with a friend and her family. Her daughters are the same age as S and go to the same school too. This complex is special in that many residents there put up special decorations for Halloween and enthusiastically distribute candy to all trick-or-treaters knocking on their doors. So many people come there that special police presence is arranged, the entrance is blocked and only pedestrians or residents can go in.

This year we had a Harry Potter, a doctor, a Witch-bride and a Tigger in our group. The grandparents accompanied us too and were busy clicking pictures. All had a great time. And since it is also S' birthday, we came back and then S cut a cake. The friend had brought cupcakes because she thought I might have not had the time or chance to get a cake for S. These are the kind of friends I am deeply thankful for.

Here are a few pictures.

TIGGER!!

Tigger's Poonchh!

Witch-bride

BLACK!! Nailpolish :D

Pumpkin

M had a great time I suppose. She didn't cry even once in her costume. We did pay extra attention to the comfort factor of the costume and comfort was the only reason why I chose Tigger over a beautiful Lady-Bug costume. I liked the Tigger costume too but the Lady-Bug was VERY eye catching.

As the picture says it all - S was allowed to paint her nails black this year. This small permission made her extremely happy! When I took her to Party City to shop for her costume, and allowed her to add a few accessories (nail polish, black artificial roses), she was giddy with excitement and kept thanking me. Occasions like these make me wonder if she sees me as "Cruella DeVille" and if that is why it makes her extremely appreciative of these small permissions I grant her. No?

Typical conversation in Kays' house - 1

J comes into the living room with a long face.

Cee: Why are you so glum? What happened?
J: Nothing.
Cee: Come on! Did someone say something to you?
J: No. Nothing happened to me.
Cee: Tell me, did the computer say something to you? (He'd been working on the computer before this)
J (still with a long face): No, my wife said something to me.
Cee: What did she say?
J: Where do I begin? She is always saying something or the other :(
Cee: What kind of a wife is she? उसे उठा कर घर के बाहर फेंक दो! [Throw her out of the house]
J (with a longer face): कैसे फेंकू? उठेगी नही! [How can I? I can't pick her up]

[I know, I know - it loses the essence in translation :(]

Merry Christmas to All

A friend forwarded this in an email today:

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmas', since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother", because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,
MOM...

P.S. One more thing... you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

Well, I had the whole post all prepared in my mind in the morning but it so happens that it is almost midnight now and I am dead on my feet. Don't remember what else I wanted to write, and don't care. The baby's quasi-sick and needs to be taken to the doctor's office at 8 in the morning just so we can make sure she is OK. (She is, we'd just like to make sure).

So, a Merry Christmas to you all (if I don't post again before 25th). Oh, yes! The Christmas tree was finally set up last night and S and I will decorate it tomorrow morning. S has already packed our gifts in plastic bags and kept them under the tree. We, the lazy parents, still need to shop for hers. And here's my dilemma. She wants a laptop and an iPod Nano (not necessarily right now) but isn't she a little too young for those? Would love to know what you think. I don't want her listening to loud music using earbuds as research has proven that those cause the most damage to young people's hearing. And laptop? Well, we already have two desktops and she uses them. I already told her once that no kid in this house is getting a TV or a phone in their room. Should I add laptop to that list?

The benefit of being together for 12 years is...

... that your partner knows which part of the argument has hurt your feelings. Apologies and explanations come faster. And you make up sooner than you would have otherwise.

The downside is that one knows EXACTLY what part of the argument will hurt the most :D

Is it my greed??

I was link hopping today while sipping on a cup of tea and this is where I landed. One article caught my eye because it is relevant to me. It struck a cord! Before going to the hospital for my C-section this year, I asked my husband at least a few times what I was going to get as an appreciation of what I have been (and am going to go) through. He said "The baby!". WRONG answer, buster! That's what I told him and he immediately corrected it to "whatever you want honey". So, off I went, got under the knife, had the baby, stayed in the hospital for 5 days, came back and got on with my life (well, kinda). I forgot about "the gift". Not for long, though. I soon remembered it and immediately felt bad that he had forgotten. Not one to keep my thoughts to myself, I immediately went up to him and accused him of not caring for me (poor man had been cooking, cleaning, driving our older one to and from activities, changing poopy diapers, taking care of the baby when I needed rest, mowing the lawn, doing grocery shopping and a MILLION other things, but that is beside the point, isn't it?) That's when he told me he had set aside $400 for me to buy whatever I wish. I immediately melted into a puddle of goop. I mean, this man is just ADORABLE, isn't he? (And he is MINE :D)

Now, he still has that $400 sitting aside waiting for me to decide what I want to do with it. I am not a girly girl, so no frilly stuff for me, thank you. I would love some diamonds, but I am very conscious of our budget and don't feel comfortable spending money on something frivolous even when I deserve to (oh yes, I do! There is no doubt about that). I wanted to spend it on a class (English literature at the local community college, painting, dance - something like that) but I don't think leaving him alone (or him and my parents) to take care of the baby while I attend a class that is not exactly essential right now would sit right with my conscience. I am now thinking of spending that money on a ballroom dance class for both of us. Which means it won't be in the near future because I don't believe in leaving the kids with a baby sitter just to go do these things. AND that we'll need a few more hundred dollars to pay for it. So, truthfully, I don't think I am going to be using that money for quite some time now. But that's OK. What matters the most to me is that J thought of me by putting that money aside.

Now, coming back to the article. It asks "Isn't a bundle of joy enough?" It says

In a more innocent age, new mothers generally considered their babies to be the greatest gift imaginable. Today, they are likely to want some sort of tangible bonus as well.

Don't get me wrong. I love both my daughters. There is no material thing in life that is worth more to me. Then why did I want J to gift me something as an appreciation for "giving" him the baby? I cannot explain that. There are a lot of emotions and memories intricately meshed together on this subject. This article forced me to think about them and try to clarify everything in my mind. I am trying to sort through the entire mess of emotions so please bear with me. Or you can stop reading the post now :D Probably, by the end of this post, I would still be rambling, unable to find the point to this incoherency.

The first thing that happens whenever I talk/think on this topic is that I go back in time to when S was born. A lot of my illusions were shattered then. One being that people cared for my well-being. Cared for ME. By people, I mean ILs. One example - while driving to the hospital before my delivery, my MIL kept reminding my FIL to drive carefully because I was in pain. While coming back from the hospital after my delivery, when the baby was secure in her arms and I was visibly wincing, tears running down my face (remember I had a C-section and the stitches were still raw) with every jump over every pothole that my FIL could find and drive over - NOT A SINGLE WORD! And all the while MIL was sitting right next to me in the back seat so she can't claim she didn't know I was miserable. That is ONE example. On the first day I came back. Everyday small and big things happened that made me realize that I was cherished only as long as I had the baby in my belly. Or, only BECAUSE I had her in my belly. Just a vessel. I was useless as soon as the baby came out. I said this to J too (see point above regarding me being unable to keep my thoughts to myself) and he said he felt that sometimes too. Imagine the hurt! To feel it is one thing. To have it validated by someone else is totally another. Thankfully, J was, and always has been a pillar of support and I know he never felt that way. That is all I care about. Now. Then it was too difficult to deal with. Anyhoo!

During one of these conversations, J told me that when I was wheeled in for the emergency C-section (we are still talking about S' birth), everyone was worried sick. Then as soon as the nurse brought the baby out, they went to look and coo at the baby forgetting that I was still in the OT and there was no news on how I was doing. Not until I was wheeled out after the operation did J breathe easy. He mentioned it to underline the fact that he too felt that I was important to ILs only until the baby came out safely. This goes into why I feel I deserve a "gift" when I deliver a baby. I didn't then. But after my first delivery, after going through this, and some other crap, I started craving for some sign that I was important too. That people still cared about me. It got so bad that I sometimes wanted to (and maybe did) compete with the baby in gaining J's attention. I am ashamed of that now - a mother competing with her own daughter? For something that the daughter obviously deserves and isn't even aware of? But such was my state of mind. In that house full of relatives, I felt utterly alone. It was a dark time for me and I have never spoken/written about it till now. Hopefully this post will get rid of those feelings once and for all. Puking does make you feel better, doesn't it?

So this time, I warned J that there better be a gift waiting for me once I come back from the hospital or else. But this time is totally different from that time. This time, J was with me in the OR. When the baby was pulled out and had been checked for all vital signs we got to hold her. I cried that we finally were where we had been trying so desperately to get - a family of FOUR! The anaesthesiologist noticed my tears and gently wiped them away with a tissue. That is when I forgave him for poking me in the back with that big, scary needle. Anyone who notices your silent tears and gently wipes them away cannot be that bad, isn't it? Then the nurse declared that she was going to take the baby to the nursery to be cleaned and fed (if M turned out to be hypoglycemic because I had had gestational diabetes - which thankfully she wasn't) She said the new dad can come with the baby if he wanted. J refused! He said he wanted to be by my side even though I pressured him to go (I couldn't bear the thought of our baby being alone with strangers :P) He stayed with me until the doctor stitched me back up and I was wheeled out into the recovery room. Then he went away very briefly to call our families in India and let them know the bundle of joy had arrived and to take a quick peek at the baby. Then he was right back by my side. ALL the time until I was able to wiggle my toes to demonstrate that I was recovering well and was wheeled to my room. Didn't I tell you he is a GEM?! And he is MINE!! :D

Updated to add: The nurse came to me when J was out calling our families and said I was lucky to have him as my husband. Why? He was the first "new dad" she had seen who hadn't run away to be with the baby and had stayed back to be with his wife instead. I still get tears in my eyes every time I remember that!

You see, this time it IS different. Even though I went through a lot more to have this baby. It was me who went through the hundreds of injections, rode the hormone induced roller coaster of emotions, went in for almost daily blood tests, went through the indignity of the hundreds of tests and internal ultra sound exams, carried the unmentioned moniker of "baanjh", ached to have a baby in my arms, tolerated people's comments on how "it was time for another", understood the unsaid "the 'problem' must be with YOU" words and much much more. This time I am more at peace. Strangely, now I don't want that gift either. Now, my bundle of joy IS enough.

Spacer Hell (and other tirades)

Again. Much whining and cajoling/ cuddling happening in the Kay household. Next week we will enter "Expander Hell". Will update about how that goes.

In other news, the baby is a lazy bum and isn't making even a tiny bit of effort to turn over or to crawl. Not that I am worried because that means we aren't running after her every single minute of the day. Thanking my stars here!

S has a concert at school today. She has been getting Violin (strings) lessons since last year. There will be two performances - one in the morning for the entire school and one in the evening for the parents of kids who are performing. The letter that came home from her music teachers (yes, she has two - one for the "regular" stuff and one for strings) said the "preferred attire" was black/ dark colored skirt and blouse or a dress (NO trousers). That raised my hackles. Why? Read on.

Last year we purchased THREE dresses for S on her teacher's demand for the various school plays that she participated in with the rest of her class. Now, S has recently lost interest in wearing skirts and dresses and prefers trousers and jeans. As a result, those three dresses are just hanging in her closet, gathering dust. We don't mind buying her clothes but we cannot just buy dresses on demand specially when she doesn't even wear them. These demands for dresses were so specific as to what the dresses should look like that S couldn't use any of her existing dresses for the purpose. And money doesn't grow on the tree for us, you know. For me, to buy three dresses each worth $30 or more, is very difficult financially. That is money we could use on something else. Some moms borrow dresses from friends but I can't do that. I simply cannot borrow clothes from anyone - that's the way I am. Thats the reason I don't shop at consignment stores even though one can find some really beautiful clothes for reasonable prices there. I don't do second hand clothes. I just don't.

So, this time I made a tough decision. I decided I was going to ignore the teachers' instructions and dress S in formal black trousers instead of formal black skirt or dress. I can't tell you how terrified that girl was of being yelled at by her teachers! I wrote a letter to the teachers just so S wouldn't have to face their anger. this is how it went:

Hello Mrs. G and Ms. J,

S is dressed in trousers instead of a dress or a skirt because she doesn't
have a black/dark dress or a skirt that's the right size. She asked us to buy
one but we refused because we cannot afford to buy dresses on demand for every
school play or concert she participates in. Last year we had to buy
three!

She is terrified she will be yelled at but I have assured her that you
will see reason. She has taken full care to dress formally in black trousers for
the concert.

Thank you very much for understanding the situation she is in through no
fault of hers.

Sincerely,

Cee Kay
(xxx)xxx-xxxx
Mother of S Kay
Room# XXX

I then called the parent co-ordinator at S' school and talked to her. She agreed that I had done the right thing and that I should bring this issue up at the next PTO meeting if I don't hear back from the teachers. I have heard from other parents how difficult it is for them to come up with new clothes fulfilling these demands. I am surprised that no one has spoken up!

I am waiting to see how they react. S asked me how she should respond if they still yell at her and I told her that she should be respectful and listen to whatever they say (they are her teachers, after all). THEN she needs to come tell me and I'll take it up with them if the need arises. I am optimistic that they won't be upset. We'll see what happens...

Update: I spoke to S when she returned from school and she said her classroom's assistant didn't pass on the letter to the music teacher saying "She has put in so much effort for this concert, let's not give it to her today". WTF?? Who is she to decide when I can communicate with the music teacher and when not?? I left her a slightly annoyed voicemail saying I was a little upset because I did want the music teacher to get my letter today and respond. Another thing that annoys me is that S is so scared of her teachers' reaction (even though they didn't say anything to her at school today) that she has decided to wear another, kind of dull, dress to the concert. She knows that she looks better in the trousers and top that she wore this morning but she still wants to wear that plain dress. A friend at work asked me why didn't I force S to wear the trouser and top. Thats because I want her to make her own decisions. But this decision, I know, she is making because she is terrified of her teachers and I don't want her to base her decisions on her fear for someone else either. Does that make sense?

12 Days of Christmas

I first received this in my email about a year ago. Today, S came home and showed it to me (she definitely IS growing up!) and I thought of sharing it here. Enjoy! (If you haven't already seen it too).

Walking the talk

I really should practise what I preach. If someone posts a rant at their own blog, I should refrain from spilling bitterness there and I should also rant at my own blog WITHOUT linking to the original rant if the writer of that rant didn't link to others. I will try to do that from now on. The only exception I will make is if the post is exceptionally vile like the second one I mentioned in my earlier post. In that case it will be an all out war - whether that post was directed at me or not. I cannot stand by and see anyone being victimized in that way.

Sowmya had every right to post a rant on her own blog regarding what ticks her off about mommy bloggers. I had every right to write a post on my views on MY blog. I am not happy by the turn of events this has caused. I don't believe what I did was wrong. I did link to her but I also mentioned that her post was thought provoking even if very irritating for the condescending tone it takes. I even mentioned that I liked other posts on her blog. I got carried away by the nastiness of some comments that were left to that post and in retrospect I can think of a hundred ways I could have done this differently. I could have written a post and then informed her on her blog that I have put up my views on my blog. I could have refrained form replying to the nasty commenters. I could have replied to them on my blog instead of doing it on her blog. I always say that one has the freedom to move on if they don't like what a blogger posts. I should have done the same.

I don't think the turn of events has been caused by MY post but I somehow feel responsible for it. Don't know how. I will need some time to sort through all this. The nastiness that one particular anon commenter was spreading was beyond belief. I never imagined that someone could be so full of hatred and venom.

Quick, hide the booze!!

And the strippers too! I have decided to invite my parents to this blog :D

There's always the "X"

Two posts I came across in the last two days have compelled me to write this post. One of them is thought provoking yet very irritating for the "better than thou" attitude it projects. The second one is the vile work of a coward and provokes outrage. The first post targets mommy bloggers and their "boring" blogs while the second one targets one of my favorite bloggers for her "failure" to maintain her kids' privacy. The second post goes too far - it also targets the innocent kids with its venom.

"Privacy" is the blue-eyed baby of the politically correct fanatics. A lot of hue and cry has been made about it. In some contexts, privacy is necessary. Like, for medical records and such. In some, optional. To talk about babies' and children's right to privacy in the context of their parents' blogs about them is ridiculous, in my opinion. Mine is not a mommy blog. It was never intended to be. But lately I have been recording more and more stuff about my daughters (and my family). My reasons are my own and I don't feel the need to cite them to justify my blogging habits. I started out with a lot of paranoia. I didn't post pictures of myself or my family, I wrote under a pseudonym, gave fictitious names to my husband and my daughters and never wrote about my work. I did this because I wasn't sure if I would ever write about my strained relations with my ILs or my work. If I decided to do so, I didn't want anyone to be able to Google my name and stumble upon those posts by mistake. I still don't post pictures of myself or my husband. I still don't write about my work. I still write under an assumed name. But I have started posting pictures of my daughters. I sometimes even contemplate going public with my name. I figure I am not going to post anything controversial about these two topics (ILs and work) so where is the need for secrecy? Besides, going public will have an added advantage that I can hand out my blog's URL to friends and family and they can keep abreast of whatever is going on in our lives.

Sowmya, author of the first blog, raises a lot of points in her post about why parents decide to maintain public blogs about their children and why it isn't such a good idea. She is sick and tired of reading about home remedies to cure eczema and constipation. She thinks parent bloggers are violating their children's rights to privacy by posting their pictures and writing about them. She wonders if these parents do so in hopes of getting their kids' mugs on a magazine's cover. In short, she doesn't understand why mommy bloggers (I wonder why she doesn't mention daddy bloggers - there ARE quite a few around) maintain these blogs. She contends that mommy bloggers have perhaps forgotten what the word "blog" means. [I wonder if she ever looked the word up in a dictionary] She wants every mommy blogger to go private. To stop blogging about their kids and just maintain a private journal for friends and family. She wants a legislature banning all parents from posting their children's pictures online. [I wonder why she targets only bloggers? Why not also rant about people who post their kids' videos on YouTube? YouTube is also very much public, open to all sorts of demented minds like she points out for the blogs]

The first question that comes to my mind is - "Does she have kids of her own"? From her blog I can't figure that out but one or two posts that I glanced through gave me an idea that probably she does. But I am not sure. Also some of the commenters have left comments that made me think "You wouldn't be so rigid in your opinions if you were a parent yourself". Because privacy isn't just achieved by not posting pictures. Pictures are the most trivial part of it. If you don't have any names or any other details to associate with the picture, the picture is nothing but a nameless face. Granted, any pedophile can look at a picture of a kid and jerk off, but he/she can do that to any picture anyway. Going by this argument, one should not allow kids to act in any commercials or pose for any advertisements. No kids should be allowed to act in movies and television serials either. You understand where this could lead to? Anyway. The thing that raised my hackles was the tone of the post - very condescending, very "holier than thou" kind, very judgmental. I may or may not agree with parents who post their kids' pictures online or write about their private lives, but I do understand one thing very clearly. They are doing so on their OWN blogs, they don't twist my arm to come read their blogs and if I accidentally stumble across their blogs and don't like what I read, I can always click on the "X" in the top right corner and end my misery right there. Don't even get me started on the unborn babies' rights to privacy that is mentioned in the post. There IS something as pushing things too far. I did like some other posts of hers but this post and the comments left by some commenters on this post have irritated me beyond words and left a bad taste in my mouth.

The second post, by far the vilest I have ever come across, made my blood boil. This blogger has written some similar posts about other bloggers and to me it seemed like he/she targets bloggers who are "successful" or well known. Could this be a case of the green-eyed monster? Whatever be the reasoning behind these posts, I simply cannot fathom how someone can be so immature? And spiteful. To write such derogatory and hurtful posts about other people - what kind of low-life-scumness does that require one to have?

I have written about this before - about understanding that people's blogs are their own, and if you don't like what they write about, just move on. Don't spit your venom criticizing other people just because they don't think like you or don't share your opinions. Disagree, but politely. Be civil. If you consider yourselves educated (which is obvious from the superior tone of these two blog authors' posts), behave like an educated person.

What do you think? I'd love to know.

Updated to add: Poppins' Mom has brought up another interesting, and very valid, argument. Most children are molested by immediate family members or close friends of the family. Doesn't that defeat the argument that all mommy-bloggers should take their content to a private space and invite only family and friends to view/read it FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR CHILDREN"S SAFETY AND PRIVACY?

Further update: On request of some fellow bloggers, I am removing the link to the posts. I didn't want to, but I have to respect this request as it is not only me whose identity has been revealed. I don't care about it personally because I don't write anything scandulous (yet) anyway but I do care about the others. I have to say one thing though - I could never imagine that some minds could hold so much hatred and venom.

Last Update, I promise!: A few other bloggers have posted their thoughts on this issue. The one that I liked the best is here.

Just so you know...

I have never been a willing early riser. Yes, there have been times when I rose early and reported to work or studied or some such thing. For instance, during my second pregnancy, I worked from 7:30 am to 3:30 pm because it gave me the opportunity to drive S to her after-school activities and spend some more time with my family. Or, during my first pregnancy when I would wake up at 5:30 in the morning, cook lunch for the whole family and be ready for my coaching classes at 6:30 am. Take S' last swim meet too,for example. I had volunteered and was supposed to report at 7:30. I did. And I did all that willingly. But, in general, I am not an early morning person.

I remember one incident from when I was in 12th grade. My mom suddenly decided that I needed to get up early to study. She kept pushing me to do so - very gently. To no avail. Then one day she decided I WAS going to get up early and study. She woke me up at 5:30 am with a glass of warm milk (or tea - I don't exactly remember). I drank that and promptly went back to sleep. Then my mom dragged a chair next to my bed, sat down with the morning newspaper and kept waking me up until I gave up any hopes of being able to sleep and sat down to study :D

Tharini wants bloggers to post pictures of sunrise in their part of the world. Well Tharini, this is just to inform you that there is one blogger who WON'T be posting any such pictures. Or if you really want a picture of a sunrise in Norwalk - CT, why don't you call my mom and enlist her help - eh? :P

Random Thought - 2

The thing about being a squeaky wheel is that it goes both ways. The squeaky wheel may get the grease first. Or it may be replaced first.

Happy Birthday Tharini!!

Dear Tharini,

Wish you a very happy (belated) birthday and a peaceful life ahead. May all your dreams come true and may you find happiness in every nook and corner of your life.

I am sorry I didn't embed a clue in my greeting for you to figure out my identity. Didn't do that intentionally - just plum forgot!

Forgetfully yours,

Cee Kay
a.k.a. GettingThereNow

Heh!

Read this joke here -

What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
Outlaws are wanted

Keeping it simple

A twist in the name...

So, now J has named M his "सौ ग्राम पंचायत" (100 gm Panchayat) since she is a light baby :D I tell you - this man has an infinite capacity to play with words!

See this post for a history on this nick name...

Muthiye - जनता की बेहद माँग पर :)

GGOP and 2B's mommy wanted me to post a recipe of Muthiye that I mentioned in my Thanksgiving post. I must warn you girls that this is my first attempt at posting a recipe and I am not very good at doing those because I rarely measure anything while cooking. I usually eyeball all the ingredients so all the measurements here are approximate. But this is a really "forgiving" recipe - you can experiment with it to your heart's content. Also, instead of cabbage, you can even use grated "Lauki" (bottle gourd) [can be replaced with Zucchini] or chopped (and washed of course) methi leaves. The measurement remains similar - you take as much of the lauki or methi as you like and add only as much flour as you need to bind everything together. Eyeball the rest of the ingredients. Here it is...

Note: I am sorry I don't have any pictures of the dish right now.

You'll need-

Cabbage - washed and finely chopped/grated - 2 cups

Green Peas (fresh or frozen) - 1 cup

Finely chopped/ grated garlic - 1 Tablespoon

Finely chopped/ grated ginger - 1 tablespoon

Lemon juice - 2 tablespoons

Sugar - 4 teaspoons

Yogurt - approx 1 cup (more if needed. Use yogurt instead of water to bind everything together - it makes the muthiye moist and soft)

Red chili powder - between 1-3 teaspoons. Depends on how spicy you want to make it.

Green chillies (finely chopped) - 1 tablespoon

vegetable oil - 1/2 cup

Coriander powder - 2 teaspoons

Hing - just a pinch

Salt - to taste

Wheat flour - 1-2 level cups - just enough to bind everything together. The recipe turns out better if you mix whole wheat flour (coarsely ground) with regular wheat flour (1:1).

Squeeze extra water out of the shredded cabbage. Add all the ingredients except the wheat flour, vegetable oil and yogurt and mix well. Add wheat flour one cup at a time and mix everything together. Stop adding the flour once you can make loose balls of the mixture that don't fall apart easily. Add vegetable oil and mix well again. You can add Baking Soda too, for extra fluffiness, but adding extra vegetable oil makes them puffy and moist so I prefer it that way.

Add yogurt - only as much as you need to bind everything together. This will give you a very soft dough.

Make small ping-pong sized balls or pat the dough out into the shape of a log and steam (just like idlis). You can take a steamer basket or something similar to steam the muthiye. I use a steel plate with holes (something that many North Indians use to cover the pot of milk etc.). I pour water in a big pan - about 1 - 1.5 inches deep, then I place the bottom insert that comes with a cooker for steaming (looks like an inverted plate with holes), place a flat bottomed bowl or strainer on it and then place the steamer plate with muthiya dough on the top. Using a steamer basket would be much easier but I am not buying one just because I want to reduce/limit the clutter in my kitchen. When the water comes to a boil, cover the pot and let the muthiye steam for about 25 - 45 minutes (depends on how soft the dough is - softer means more steaming required). You'll know it is done when a knife or a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.

The next part is optional. The muthiye can be eaten simply steamed, deep fried or stir fried. It is a matter of choice. I stir fry them with LOTS OF OIL :D because that is the way J and S like them.

If you steamed the muthiye in shapes of logs, chop them up in 1.5 inch wide pieces. (Helps to let them cool a little first) Heat about half a cup to 2/3 of a cup of oil in a pan. When it is hot enough, add 2 TABLESPOONS of mustard seeds (yes that's a lot but it tastes good, believe me) and some curry leaves (about 8-10) and green chillies (number depending on how hot you like it) sliced lengthwise. Once the sputtering dies down, add the muthiye pieces, lower the flame/heat to 3 quarters and let it cook for as long as you can to turn it brown and crispy. If you don't want the muthiye very crispy, you can get away with using much less oil. To stir it up, just shake the pan back and forth to turn the muthiye (like one turns an omelet without using a spatula). If you use a spatula or a spoon, it might break them up.

Once they are done to the crispiness you like, take them off the heat, garnish with chopped coriander and fresh grated coconut and serve with tomato ketchup and dhaniya chutney.

Note: And this makes it post number 101 in the year 2007 - a record for me! Never before have I blogged so much. Last year I just managed 19 posts and 27 in the year before that. So, 100+ is definitely an accomplishment for me :P

A new nick name

that J came up with for M is "Gram Panchayat" (Village Panchayat) because she is so much interested in what others are doing :P