Silly celebrations!

Ninni-the-Pooh is 4 months, 3 weeks and 2 days old today!

Mitthi-Mouse turns 9 in 3 days!

I like AP (arithmetic progression) series and numbers in multiples of each other :D

Look before you speak!

I was walking down the hallway to where my office is and as I passed a colleague's office, I heard him call out "Hello!". So I "helloed" back. Then he asked "Can you help me?". I was in a very chirpy, silly kind of mood so I said "NO!" and then peeked in to smile at him and ask him what it was that he needed help with. That's when I realized that he was talking to someone else on the phone!

Random Thought - 1

If you lie about your age, you better have a good memory and you better be pretty darn good in math!

They say I'm a Schmoozah!!

Suki and AA's Mom, that's who!

Enough has been written about what the word "schmoozer" means and how this award might apply to the blogs that have received it. At the risk of sounding preachy, I'll say this (heard it at the latest PTO council meeting) - "Define your own success". What I mean to say is - do not go by what the word means, because the word does conjure up a picture of a smooth talking, a** kissing slicker in one's mind. Instead, look at two things - the intentions of the person passing it on to you and your own interpretation of it. I personally never thought I could "network", unless, of course you are talking about networking computers, servers, switches and such - which is what I do for a living. But Suki and AA's Mom think otherwise. I am flattered! I am flattered that they thought enough of plain ol' me to include me on their list. And I interpret the word "schmoozer" to mean "I am easy to talk to" :) Yeah, thats right! So I AM a schmoozer, a'ight!

So, a BIG "Thank you" again ladies! Your kind words about me are much appreciated. And forgive me, but I am shamelessly going to copy-paste your comments about me here :D

Suki said: "her comments reflect her blogging personality (she meant "Getting There Now") perfectly. Often long, well thought out, sensitive and having a thesis of their own. Makes me want to add them to the post body sometimes! :)"

AA's Mom said: "for her parenting style seems similar to my Mom's and aim to be such a parent."

Almost everyone, and there are so many who deserve this, has already received this award. I'd like to pass on this award to a few who come readily to my mind, for the resons stated.

Sandeepa, IndoSunGod, Asha: For their efforts in setting up "Desi Momz Club" where all desi moms "network".

Asha (AGAIN): She is always there with encouraging words and her experiences to guide us. Most of the time, she is the first one to comment on new posts on Desi Momz Club.

DesiMomzClub: It does take a lot of effort to stay an active part of any group (I should know - I am a slacker!). All the members of this group pitch in to make this club a lively and interesting space.

There are so many others who are real big schmoozers (meant it in the most affectionate way people :D) in the blog world. This award is for all of them.

KUMON: How and why it works for us

Some time back I wrote a post on how parents sometimes push their kids unnecessarily to achieve academic excellence. In that post, I also mentioned KUMON - a chain of individually owned math and reading learning centers. One reader left a link in the comment section for an article that discusses a few drawbacks of the KUMON way of teaching math. I read that whole article twice - I swear! I agree with parts of it and there are parts (regarding trigonometry and calculus etc.) that we haven't gone through yet so those don't apply to us. Yet. I highly recommend that you read this article if you are thinking about signing up your kid(s) at KUMON. I am not going to discuss the article here. I am merely writing what works for us in the KUMON method. I am not saying it will, or should, work for other parents too. Every kid is different and what works for S might not work even for M, a few years from now. So, please take everything I am going to write with a grain of salt. Research the options out for yourself and then decide.

S started KUMON math program in August 2003, just before she started Kindergarten. I came to know about it through a friend who sent her son to a center for a brief time. S was a quiet kid from the beginning and we thought being good at something, like math, will give her self-esteem a boost. In the long term, we HAVE been proven correct. Also, I had heard that due to various factors, girls here lose interest in math and sience by the time they get to middle school. I was determined to prevent that from happening to my daughter. I wasn't going to let math become a "monster" to be afraid of. So, this is why our KUMON journey started.

Soon after she started, S began struggling with the homeworks. She would do all correctly, but would take 45 minutes or more to complete each homework. We began worrying if we pushed her in it too early because there is no way 45 minutes of homework is going to be good for a 5 year old. Thankfully, the owner of the franchise that S attended agreed with us. She said it should only take a child 5-7 minutes per homework, and no more than 10-12 minutes even if they take too long. So she reduced the number of pages that S was getting per homework. Once the load decreased, S also began taking more interest in doing her homework again. So, it has been this way ever since - we reduce the number of pages in her homework if she starts taking too long to finish and slowly increase it again once she finds a balance.

Another thing we always made sure of was to never push S into finishing a level fast. We let her take her own time and even let her repeat a level if she takes too long in that level's test (the objective is to complete one page in 1-3 minutes). After all, she is the one who will benefit if she masters the concepts at one level before advancing to the next one. Also, having to repeat a level has never been associated with failure in Kay household. It just indicates that some more time is needed to master the concepts. We do, however, try positive reinforcement to keep her motivated. So, every time S completes a level at KUMON, she gets to buy a board game or a book of upto $15 dollars in value. We are very rigid in enforcing the "board game or book" part. No soft toys, no video games or anything of that sort. She really looks forward to these opportunities. She only gets this gift if she has finished the level for good and doesn't have to repeat it. There are no penalties for repeating a level except that she has to wait longer to buy her gift.

Every year, when we mention that S is in the KUMON math program, her teachers ask us the same questions. How do we keep her interested (because it does tend to get repititive)? And since she is clearly ahead of grade level in math, how do we keep her interested in school work? For the first question, our answer is "Because we never gave her an option. KUMON homeworks are not optional, and she knows that. And, since she can herself see the progress she is making, she willingly does it now." As for the second question, we have noticed that the math that she learns at school is usually complementary to the math she does at KUMON. So, since KUMON math program doesn't really have many word-problems, the school curriculum helps her practice that part. KUMON math does not cover money math concepts while her school curriculum did. And, school curriculum also helps her revise the parts that she did long time ago at KUMON and has forgotten by now. For example, when she was doing multiplication in KUMON, her class teacher was still teaching subtraction. That helped because S was beginning to lose subtraction skills for lack of practice. And this year, she finishes her math classwork and then goes ahead and does extra with her teacher's permission. Which, in my opinion, shows a "will to learn" - a very important ingradient of success.

In my opinion, this is also teaching her a few other things. One - you have to do what you have to do. Meaning, even if you already know multiplication (or any other skill that is currently being taught in class), you have to do it as part of the school curriculum. You CANNOT get out of doing it just because you already know it. Two - never be smug about your math skills because though there are things you are very good at, there are some other skills that you need to work on, just like other kids. (Example - her struggles with money math last year) Three - practice makes perfect. This one she has experienced for herself and now realizes its importance (I hope!)

Almost everyone in our social circle, who has ever sent their kids to KUMON at one time or the other, has mentioned to us how their kids used to get "bored" with math at their school because they were ahead of the rest of their class. Most of them cited "boredom" as a reason for dropping out of the KUMON math program. I don't know why. As I mentioned earlier, it hasn't happened to S. And if it has, she hasn't mentioned to us - which is just as good because we would still have made her do it. "Bored" is a word I don't entertain. No way, no how! I know, I sound like a tyrant. Heck! I am a tyrant when it comes to studies. I know that is THE ONLY TICKET TO SUCCESS my daughters have. S does mention it when KUMON begins to become a burden of sorts. Then we let her take a break for a week or so. Every year, she gets a break form KUMON for one week each in summer and winter. And sometimes an extra week here or there if we feel (or if she says) it is becoming too much for her. That, I guess, prevents it from becoming a huge burden. By now, KUMON is a way of life for her. She remembers to do the homework every day without us having to remind her. I hope this will continue into her middle school and high school years. Because the skills that KUMON is teaching her reach far beyond just success in math. The discipline will definitely help her in other avenues in life. The skill to understand concepts on her own (of course she takes our help when she gest stuck) is going to prove important later in college. The perseverance she is learning in understanding tricky math concepts will pay off later in life.

Coming back to the article - I agree KUMON is not perfect. Nothing is. But we work hard at making it work for us. Like everything else in life. Nothing comes your way custom-made and ready to fit. You have to tuck here, nip there.

The author of the article suggests that parents should do every homework themselves along with the kids. I agree, but not completely. You don't need to do every single homework. You do need to know how to solve those problems and be able to explain to your kid(s) if the need arises. Having solved the problems yourself a few times does come in handy when you have to explain it to someone else.

We had signed S up for KUMON's reading program as well and she attended it for over 3 years. But then we learnt about SCORE's writing program. We liked the program and wanted to try it out. S loved it and even made some remarkable progress in her writing skills. but we had to take her off of the program. There were a few reasons. One - they weren't offering Writing as a stand-alone program. They wanted us to opt for the whole Math-Reading-Writing package. Since we were already very happy with the KUMON math and reading program, we decided not to join SCORE. Two - and this one was a biggie for me, I am not sure if other parents will feel the same way as I do - the SCORE program is COMPLETELY computer based. I mean, even the "writing" that S did was on a computer. Now, call me old-fashioned, but I believe a child should learn how to write well before graduating to typing. And, with all the typing, S was losing her handwriting skills fast. At KUMON, she is required to write everything - math answers as well as answers to the questions in her reading material. I like it that way. As I said - nothing is perfect. You have to work at making things fit you. We tried but we weren't able to compromise on these two issues regarding the SCORE program. I think we might give it another try a few years from now when S is done with KUMON (one can hope, right? :P)

Observations and conclusions - and a whole lot of other updates

Observation: The number of moms attending PTO and PTO Council meetings is greater than the number of dads.

Wrong Conclusion: Dads just aren't as interested in their kids' education as moms are.

Right Conclusion: Moms are here because dads are back home taking care of the kids.

Well, of course, it could be grandparents or uncles or aunts taking care of the kids as well, but I think most of the moms can get away to these meetings because dads agree to stay back and do the baby-duty. I know for sure that a few moms can't make it to the meetings because they don't get similar support from their partners. (Or are they using this just as an excuse not to attend these meeting? Hmmmm... The ever-skeptical me!)

I went to the monthly PTO council meeting yesterday. Apart from being a way of being involved in my daughter's education, it is also a means for me to understand the American school system. It helps to know the ins and outs of the system, I am realizing. And I sometimes regret not becoming a part of it earlier because S had to miss some good opportunities just because we weren't aware they existed. Anyway, no use crying over spilled milk.

In the meeting yesterday, I raised a question regarding the parent-teacher conferences. At the end of the meeting, a parent of a high school kid came to me and said he had been observing parents' participation in these meetings for the last couple of years and felt that the questions I raise are few but always very important. It felt good to get that kind of acknowledgment. This year I have limited my participation because of the baby but I am trying my hardest to do at least this much - two meetings every month. I attend the PTO council meeting every month and then report back on it to my daughter's school at the PTO meeting. Even this little bit is appreciated very much. I really like the way parents here can play an active role in their kids' schools. In India, we have to pay through our noses and still don't get a say in how our kids should be educated. [Please correct me if I am wrong and if things have changed now]

Now on to the "whole lot of other updates"...

On Sunday (October 21st) I and Ma went to a 5 mile walk that was raising money for Breast Cancer Research. I had my doubts - I thought I wouldn't be able to keep up with my mom who is in a better physical shape than I am. I knew I will be able to finish it but wasn't sure of the state I'd be in afterwards. My mother, on the other hand, was worried that she might not be able to keep up with me due to her age. I am happy to report that both our worries were unfounded. We both walked the 5 miles in 1 hour and 35 minutes!! This was a teeny bit faster than the 20-minute mile I was estimating and a LOT faster than the 30-minute mile J was predicting :) In fact we finished 25 minutes earlier than the rest of our team (this event was sponsored by my office)! And I wasn't in too much of discomfort afterwards. This walk had such a feel-good factor associated with it that now I want to go on another!

Rest all is well in Kay-ville. S has two swim meets coming up this weekend. And I have to plan her birthday party which is going to be a simple affair this year. S just wants to invite a few of her friends home and have a"Hannah Montana" party. And frankly, that is all I feel up to this year. There are a bunch of Diwali parties coming up too. And then there is the Thanksgiving get-together I have at our house every year. November 18th is scheduled for a math contest S is going to participate in. Halloween is around the corner as well. There is a party in S' school too and I have also signed up to volunteer at an event in her school. We have to go to a wedding right after Thanksgiving. All in all, very busy couple of months for us.

It worked. Really!

The idea of giving M cereal before bedtime so she'd be full and sleep longer? It worked!! I knew it would - but it still feels good to actually see it working :) At the same time we are now feeling bad that we kept her hungry all this time :D

Sunday night I had the longest, uninterrupted sleep in weeks. Whats more - M lovvvves the cereal! She gobbles it all up! Can't wait for me to fill up the spoon and bring it back to her :D And she even loves the water that let her sip on! What more could I ask for? A baby who loves her food and drink and sleeps most of the night - thats all!

Oh, and she is becoming chattier by the day! Last night, she woke up at 11:30 for her last feed of the day and was still wide awake after drinking up the milk and cereal concoction that I gave her, and more milk and a diaper change. And she was singing! She grabbed my chin and "sang" at the top of her voice. I didn't have the heart to interrupt her and waited for the song to finish. But another one started after this one - that is when J stepped in, scooped her up and "lullabied" her to sleep :P A good rest was had by all after that. NOT.

That was a curveball, wasn't it? Here I was raving about how M is sleeping through the night and all of a sudden she is not? Well, you see last night J made her cereal and fed her (I was away at a PTO Council meeting). He forgot that my instructions said "2 ounces of MILK + 2 heaped teaspoonfuls of rice cereal" and mixed 2 heaped teaspoons of rice cereal with water instead. M didn't like it and wanted to have nothing to do with it :P So he ended up giving her cereal from the bottle - which was again mixed with water and not milk. As a result, it wasn't filling enough for her and she woke up in 3 hours! But then we did give her milk+cereal then. She woke up again at 4:45 am and had another bottle of milk and then slept for another 3 hours or so - which is unusual. She wakes up in about 1.5 hours after her early morning feed. But all in all, at least M had a good night's sleep even if we didn't!

This baby of ours...

... is completely testing our limits of endurance.

She had started sleeping through the night pretty early - from 3 months of age. But now she is waking up every three hours after 12 am and WANTS TO PLAY AND TALK!!! Did that last night. Or should I say "this morning"? Poor dad stayed up with her from 3:30 am to 5:30 am. After that I took pity on him and took over :D Put her to bed in 8 minutes flat (yeah, yeah - all you supporters of J WILL say I got her when she was already tired but the fact remains that it was I who soothed her into a sleep :D). She woke up again at 6:30 am. I tell you - she is doing this JUST TO TEST OUR LIMITS!! Anyway, in Kay household these days, nana-nani's shift starts at 6:30 am. So I slept for another half hour after handing her ot my dad. I shudder to think what will become of us once my parents leave.

Before you start bashing me for sleeping soundly while my darling husband deals with the baby, I must tell you that we take turns taking care of her. So one night it's me and the next it is J and so on... Last night happened to be "his night". Hopefully, she will be so tired tonight that she will sleep straight through!

So, anyway - I think she is waking up so often because maybe she is hungry. So, starting this weekend (means tonight), I am going to give her cereal just before bed. Hope that'll hold her for the whole night.

Last night, when J was up with her - or lets say when M was up and J was sleeping with M in his lap, she kept looking at me (I opened my eyes just a "leetal" bit to see who she was speaking with) and calling out to me!! I think she has decided that I will be her playmate during the night. Maybe it is because of that "SuperMom" cape I wear that she thinks I can go without ANY sleep for 3 years in a row! I think I'll hide the cape tonight :D

In my thoughts...

She is going through exactly what I went through last year. Not exactly, but yes, the pain is the same. The reason is the same too.

All those memories have come rushing back. I remember each day of what I went through. I wish no one, who really wanted a child, had to go through this pain.

Heather, I have you and your family in my thoughts. I know you will bounce back - you are a strong woman. And know that I am rooting for you!

Like, dude! Uhhhh... listen up!!

PLEASE lets take a deep breath, speak slowly and leave out all the fillers - "like", "ummm", "err", "uhhh", "you know" - from our sentences.

It is, kinda like... uhhh... very irritating, uhhhh.... to listen to... you know... such a uhhhh... speech, you know?

Get what I'm, like, gettin' at??

Theory of Transference*

...of property.

I just remembered this incidence yesterday. This happened when J & I were doing our Master's from Indore University. The three of us - J, N (a dear friend) and I were sitting on the stairs in front of our department. N started teaseing me about how I was a pauper and J a prince!

N: J has a motorcycle, he has a house and a job. He even has lots of loyal friends. He has a great family and loads of money. What do you have?

[BTW - the last part of N's speech about J having loads of money was a LIE!! :D]

Me: Hmmmm.. I have J!!!

* trans·fer·ence /trænsˈfɜrəns, ˈtrænsfərəns/
–noun
1. the act or process of transferring.
2. the fact of being transferred.

Here you go...

She's mobile now!

We put Ninni in a walker a few days back. This is something I never thought I'd do because I am dead against walkers for babies. (This walker was given to us by a friend, otherwise we wouldn't have purchased one) But she was quite miserable in our arms and didn't like being on the activity mat all day so we thought we'd just put her in the walker for a few minutes and see if she liked it. She is already trying her BEST to sit up so we thought she'd like being in an upright position. Boy! She loved it! She accidentally pushed with her legs and the walker moved backwards. I loved the look on her face! She seemed amazed that she could move on her own :D So she kept doing it and eventually went all the way back and got stuck against the wall. That irritated her. "Here I finally figure out how to move on my own and I am already being hindered??". So we heard a few whiny protests. J picked her up and turned her around. She began pushing again until she reached the opposite wall. Whine. Pick up & turn around. Push. This went on for about 10 minutes or so. Good, clean, family oriented entertainment :P Then she got tired of it and wanted to come out. We haven't repeated it since. Maybe over the weekend. Unfortunately the pics are still in the camera. Will put them up soon.

Now about her efforts to sit up. This little girl is determined to sit up. Any time we prop her up against her Boppy or lay her down on a soft surface (like our bed), she hunches her sholders, balls up her hands into tiny fists, brings them close to her chest, brings her head forward and tries to sit up! Well, if it doesn't work, she will still get abs of steel :D So, Go Girl!!

Lately, mommy dear has found her "pot of gold at the end of the rainbow" - Ninni blesses her with big, wide grins throughout the evening (and night). As I mentioned earlier, no matter what I did, she wouldn't smile at me. NEVER. But then last friday I was stuck in traffic and didn't get home until after 9:30 pm. I guess that day she must have thought mama ran away and when I finally came back she decided to throw these smiles my way to keep me from running away again :D

We changed her formula on Sunday and it seems that the new one suits her better. She isn't spitting up as much as she used to and isn't uncomfortable after her feeds like she sometimes became earlier. So, YAY!

Really?? Yeah!

You Are 60% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

Month Four

I am so running behind in everything that I need to post. I have a lot of tags to finish. I have lost track of things I've been tagged for. I also have to complete a post on how/why KUMON works for us that has been lying in my drafts for a long time. But first, it is time for Month 4 update.

Actually, I don't remember much. I have decided that, from now on, instead of doing a monthly post I will post about events as and when they happen and just label them by the month that we are in. Anyhoo - this is the last monthly post.

Sometime during this month, Ninni started turning to her side. She doesn't do it that often even now. As I mentioned earlier, she tries something new for a few times and when she is satisfied that she has mastered that skill, she just gives it up for something new :) So, she turned to her side for a couple of days and then lost interest in it. Also, our persistence paid off this month. Ninni HATED being on her tummy. But we would still give her some tummy time everyday and she'd spend it miserably. Then one day she discovered..... the IDIOT BOX!! Yes, as much as I hate kids and babies watching TV, both my daughters love it :D I think they got the "TV Watching" genes from both their grandfathers - J's and my dad :D Now this double whammy of genes is something that I can control, but can't wipe away altogether. So, this time I decided to use it to my advantage. I gave Ninni her tummy time in front of the television one day. Then her sneaky nana-nani also did the same the next day. And the next. And the day after that too. Slowly she started enjoying her tummy time and then we eliminated TV from this equation and she didn't even realize it!

We did have a lot of fun for a few days observing her love for the idiot box though. I would turn it on while playing with Ninni and then block her vision whenever she turned her head towards her. She would just go crazy trying to get a peek! She would contort her body (and neck) in every possible way just to get a peek at the screen. Yes, I know I am a very cruel momma :P

Around this time she also started enjoying her daily morning sessions on the activity mat. We have fixed the mirror on the top so Ninni can see herself when she is on the mat. She looks at herself and coos incessantly, this narcissist baby! One day, I decided to have some together time with her on the mat so I lay down beside her. She looked at me in the mirror, then turned her head to look at me and then looked in the mirror again. I think it confused her to see "two" of me :D

One milestone for the big sister was that she picked up Ninni UNASSISTED!!! for the first time!! And another milestone was for nana who successfully put Ninni in bed for her nap ONCE!! :D And I think this was the month when Ninni finally convinced nana to change her diaper :P (Till now nani, mommy and daddy had been doing the dirty work!)

One final thing to happen in this month was Ninni's 4 month checkup which was scheduled just 2 days before she completed 4 months. She got slammed with FOUR shots, poor thing! Apart from that, everything else was fine. The doctor was even very happy with her weight gain. I think I never mentioned it but Ninni was in just the 5th percentile of weight when we brought her home. Now she is in the 50th percentile. In the doctor's words - "The weight gain has been phenomenal". So mommy is happy. And keeping her fingers crossed. And touching wood everywhere she can find it :D

The doctor said that though he recommends that we start her on solids only after six months, he will leave the final decision upto us. Since we had already made up our minds about starting her on thin soups by the time she was 4.5 months old and then solids by the time she turns 5 months or so, I told the doctor our intentions. I have to say I wasn't expecting the way he reacted. He was COMPLETELY COOL WITH IT!! I told him this is what we did with our older daughter and she has the best eating habits in all the kids I have seen (and I believe it was because we started her off pretty early - and because of the varied food I gave her. More on that in another post). He asked me what is the rate of food-related allergies in Indian kids to which I replied that I don't have concrete data, but I rarely heard of any kids with food allergies back in India. He nodded as if my answer proved some unspoken theory of his. Or maybe it was my imagination :P

So, this is it. I am eagerly looking forward to starting Ninni on solids. With Mitthi, I made sure she got a variety of food, and something from all food groups every day. I am worried that this time it might be a little difficult because when Mitthi was small, I was at home and had all the time to cook nutritious food for her. I don't want to give Ninni much store-bought baby food. I believe home-made is the best. Also, home made will be closer to what I cook for our regular meals and thus there will be a greater chance that Ninni, like Mitthi, will develop good eating habits. Here's hoping that happens...

First taste of something other than milk...

We started Baby M on thin, watery soups today. The first one was simple "daal ka pani" (water in which lentils have been boiled). The daal was "Masoor dhuli" (Red lentils). We had been thinking of starting her on this for a long time now - ever since she turned 3 and a half months old. But something or the other kept preventing us from doing it. Then, a few days back, my dad said not to do it since it was the "Shraddh" season. Now, I am a non-believer. But over the years I have changed a lot in this respect. Even though I don't believe in all this stuff, I do respect other people's beliefs. So I waited until today.

It was a vey simple, totally non-ceremonious event. I am not one for ceremonies. I mean, I do love celebrating birthdays and anniversaries, but that is about it. So we simply boiled some lentils and in the afternoon everyone took turns feeding Baby M. First it was mommy's turn. Then Daddy's and then big sister's. Then Nani and Nana took their turns. And then we found out that Nana, who had been manning the camera, had only taken pictures of Baby M and completely eliminated the person feeding her in every single picture :D Since we thought it will be quite difficult, 6-7 years from now, to recognize each person just by the picture of their hand, we went again. This time Nani took pictures :P

Oh, by the way, Baby M loved the soup!!

Note: Pics will follow soon. I need to download them onto my laptop.

OTC Infant Cough & Cold Medicine recall

Several makers of OTC (Over the counter) Oral infant cough and cold medicines voluntarily recalled their products. This has created a panic in parents and I have received at least 3 emails from different sources. But the recall has been done voluntarily and is NOT mandatory or a safety recall, which means it is NOT due to a defective product. Here is what I found on a website that has information about Over-The-Counter drug safety:

The voluntary withdrawal of OTC oral infant cough and cold medicines was initiated by the makers of those medications out of an abundance of caution. This is not a mandatory recall or a safety issue.

• Kids’ OTC cough and cold medicines are both safe and effective when used correctly. Rare cases of overdose from misuse, however, have occurred—particularly in infants less than two years of age.

• Infants under the age of two are the most vulnerable to the consequences of this misuse.

• The voluntary withdrawal only affects oral infant cough and cold medications. It does not affect any other children’s medicines.

• OTC pediatric cough and cold medicines affected by this voluntary withdrawal are listed in the right column of this page, or visit www.OTCsafety.org.

I think these companies have taken a big, admirable step towards implementing safety where OTC drugs for infants are concerned. I can imagine the financial setback they will experience because this WAS a big market.

I do have a rather strong opinion about what necessitated this recall and maybe I WILL do a post on it - if I get the time. In short, I feel some parents tend to over-medicate children and THAT has compelled these companies to recall their perfectly safe products. It also means a slight inconvenience for parents who turn to these drugs only when totally necessary and at times when it is not possible to get a prescription from a doctor. Oh well. I am ready to go through that inconvenience if it means some other babies will be safer now.

Private? Public? Somewhere in between?

I have seen this a lot lately. Rude, insensitive comments on posts, many of them totally tangential and not about the main issue discussed in the blog at all. MadMomma brought it up in her latest post as well. She is wondering why blog posts get hijacked and taken in a completely different direction by the readers of the blog? I have been thinking about it as well and have been wanting to write a post on it. My take is a little different on it. Maybe because I have a very limited readership and my posts don't get as many comments as Mad Momma's posts do, it doesn't bother me in the same way it bothers her.

To me, it is kind of interesting how different readers pick up different points from the same post. How they interpret the same thing differently. Much like two siblings might form different attitudes about life in general based on their experiences under similar circumstances. People take away different life-lessons from same situations. For example, I believe in God though I do not follow any organized religion but my brother is an atheist. We grew up together and our parents behaved exactly the same with us in this reagrd. They showed us their beliefs and we saw them taking part in Havans and other religious activities yet both of us developed different beliefs. That is the strength of a human mind. Two minds can come up with two different thoughts under the same circumstances. There is no fixed formula to how minds work. And I think that is why different readers interpret the same post differently. I have also seen, and found it interesting, that different readers pick up different parts of the same post to comment on. So, for a simple post that might tackle different parenting issues ranging from baby food to sleep habits, education and discipline, I am sure I will get varied comments on different parts of the post. And, to me, that is the beauty of blogging. It feels just like when you are sitting with friends and a topic of discussion comes up. Everyone puts in their two cents and sometimes they veer off to something totally different. Sometimes I get a comment on a post of mine that make ME think differently about the issue that has been commented upon.

This is all fine and dandy when we are talking about regular readers of our blogs. We write a post, they read the post, and then everyone shares their opinions in the comments section. Sometimes it even becomes a "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" fest :D Or as one would say in Sanskrit - "परस्परम् प्रशंसति, अहो रूपम् अहो ध्वनि!" [Begin digression: This Sanskrit phrase comes from a story. Once a camel and a crow met. After getting acquainted, they started praising each other. The crow said "Oh, what a beautiful face!" and the camel said "Oh, what a melodious voice!" : End digression] Now, don't take it otherwise. I mentioned the phrase in the most affectionate and humorous way. It feels good to give and receive praise and it builds goodwill all around - something all of us could use on any given day.

Sometimes that doesn't happen. For bloggers like MadMomma, Megha, Rohini and many others who fearlessly express their opinions on a variety of issues, along come the special class of readers and commentors - the NASTY ANONYMOUS reader/commentors. This is where things mostly get out of hand. Now again, it is perfectly fine to comment anonymously as long as you do so with civility and respect for the owner of the blog. But what happens generally is an anonymous reader would leave a rude comment on some totally irrelevant part of the post and then a commenting war ensues. I have been part of one such war at Megha's latest post. And I am ashamed to say that towards the end I became catty. That is when I realized that I needed to bring my thoughts away from her space and jot them down in my own. In my defense I would say that I engaged in it in the first place because I couldn't just stand by and see Megha being attacked for her views in her OWN space.

Most of the times, the main argument that these anonymous commentors (henceforth ACs or NACs - Nasty Anonymous Commentors) give in the support of their rude comments is that the blogger called it upon themselves by airing their issues in a "public space". [Begin digression 2: One AC called it a "public forum". Now, isn't that repetitive? A "forum" is a place for public to gather and have discussions (ref. --> Dictionary.com) . A "public forum" becomes a "public place for public to gather"? Anyway, I am just splitting hair! :End digression 2] What they don't realize is that a blog ["a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page": ref. --> dictionary.com] is NOT a public space. Yes, it is available for everyone to read (based on the settings) and comment. But it is not open for everyone to write POSTS on. It belongs to the owner of that particular blog. The comment section may be considered public but in that case one should behave as one would in any other public place - with civility and dignity. If they don't like what they read, they have two options - comment with civility or go to their own space and vent about it.

The second argument meted out is that if a blogger activates comment moderation on their blog, they 1) do so to drown out all dissenting voices, 2) deserve such comments because of what they write about and they can choose not to publish them, 3) are cowards, 4) should stop complaining, 5)do not support free speech 6) are hypocrites and so on. I'll tackle these one by one.

A blogger activates comment moderation to drown out all dissenting voices. Bloggers choose to moderate comments for various reasons. One of those reasons IS to filter out rude, insensitive jerks who don't know how to express a differing opinion in a civilized manner. I don't see most of these bloggers criticizing everyone who differs from them in their opinions, only those who do it in an uncivilized way. Nothing wrong with that. I have seen plenty of comments that disagree with the bloggers' opinions (on MadMomma and Megha's blogs, for example). The fact that these comments were allowed in the comment section shows that these bloggers are not afraid of, or intolerant of contradicting opinion.

These bloggers deserve such comments because of what they write about and they can choose not to publish them. I beg to differ. No one deserves rude, insensitive or threatening comments for what they write, however controversial it might be. One - lets not forget that they are airing their opinions in THEIR PERSONAL SPACE. They don't come to YOUR blog to write these posts. Two - AGAIN - you can disagree. But be civil, be decent, be polite. If you still don't like what they wrote or how they reacted to disagreeing comments, leave. You can make the choice not to read what they write.

I listen to various radio programmes on my way back from work. The one I catch the most is hosted by Dr. Michael Savage. Now, Dr. Savage most times behaves according to his last name. That is his style. He bulldozes all his callers if they happen to disagree with him. He bulldozes even those callers who agree with him. I don't particularly like that even though sometimes he does have interesting and informed opinions about the topics he discusses. So, as soon as he starts doing that I switch channels. Simple as that! I could call in and tell him how I feel but I know that's not going to make a difference. Besides - it is HIS program. HE decides how to behave on it. If anyone is willing to take that kind of treatment from him, they call him. Those who can't, don't. Same goes with blogs, in my opinion.

These bloggers have comment moderation on because they are cowards. From what I have seen on most blogs that have comment moderation on is that the bloggers are not trying to hide behind that censorship. They love a good debate. Bloggers might, as I mentioned earlier, have various reasons for turning comment moderation on, but cowardice is usually not one of them. This is just a juvenile accusation to prove one's point at every cost.

Bloggers who have comment moderation on should stop complaining. Why? Why should someone stop complaining about the rude treatment they are getting from someone else? Just because they set up a filter on a PERSONAL site? It is like saying that a person should not complain about a robbery attempt at their home if they have a security system in place. Surely the robbery attempt was unsuccessful BECAUSE they had that security system. Similarly, if these bloggers didn't have comment moderation, the rude comments WOULD have made it through to their comment space and polluted the whole space. Just because I might have comment moderation on does NOT give someone the license to send me rude, threatening or obscene comments! I am pretty sure that these NACs won't stop spreading their vile comments even if comment moderation were removed from all blogs.

Bloggers who turn comment moderation on do not support free speech. Again, a misconception in these un/mis-informed minds, I am sure. Also, free speech comes with responsibilities. Just because you have freedom to speak, does not mean you can speak trash to or about someone else. Basic manners! Would you go to some one's house or approach someone in a "public space" IN PERSON and speak as harshly? Would you express your opinions with such abandon if you had to reveal your identity? Free speech is all good and noble, but only when it doesn't attack other people's right to speak out their minds. That too in their own spaces. If only we applied the same rules of etiquette to our blog comments, that we apply to our conversations with real live people, this issue wouldn't even arise. And it is interesting to note that the advocates of free speech are all conveniently ACs! And no. Adding a letter or an initial (or even a name, which could be fictional for all we know) at the end of your comment does not mean you have adequately revealed your identity. Create your own blogger profile, log in with that profile and THEN leave a nasty comment. You won't. Because then you can be traced back to your personal space and attacked. See what I mean??

Bloggers who have comment moderation on are hypocrites. Whatever generated this idea? Again, the NACs are confusing the bloggers' right to write in their own space with everyone else's right to comment in a public domain. And comment moderation does not equate to "killing all disagreeing comments" as I have already pointed out. These bloggers are just demanding a little bit of respect for themselves in their own space. Not too much to ask!

As for commentors hijacking the blog by airing their opinions rudely over some unrelated topics - DON'T GO THERE! Read the post first. Otherwise you appear stupid for arguing over something that was not discussed or something that was not the point of the post anyway. Yes, it is easy to mistakenly do so. But it is not easy to be "mistakenly rude". THAT needs effort. There is a difference between just taking the comment off the tangent and hijacking the comment section with rude comments over personal agendas.

I would say the Internet has changed the concept of privacy. So it is easy to mistakenly consider someone else's blog a public domain. Even then, if one would just remember the general rules of behaving in a public space, things won't appear so wrong. One wouldn't be verbally abusive to public speakers even if one disagreed with their opinions. One wouldn't stand up and accuse someone of being a coward, bad parent, bad employer, bad friend or some such thing in a public gathering. The cloak of anonymity gives a person the misplaced strength to do so. It makes a coward out of THEM. Because if they had the courage, if they thought they were correct, they wouldn't do it anonymously.

Silly numbers...

Just realized that Mitthi mouse is 11 months, 1 week and 1 days into her 9th year and Ninni-the-Pooh is 4 months and 4 days old!

What a way to cheer up!

Over the weekend, somethings really dragged me down and I wasn't "feeling the love"! Then I ventured over to Rohini's blog while blog-surfing on Monday and what do I see??? She has awarded me the Rockin' Girl Blogger Award!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what to thank her first for - for pulling me out of the dumps, for saying that I rock or for perpetuating the myth that I am still a girl? :D

And now I pass it on to -

Lumi: Even during times when she had a lot going on in her life, I never caught even a hint of the "why me?" bitterness.

Broom: The strength she has shown in the past months in recovering from a divorce amazes me.

Dotmom: Her husband had a heart attack recently but when I read her post recounting the event(s), I couldn't help but marvel at her strangth and composure.

Suki: I just started reading her blog and I like the conviction with which she writes.

Megha: I have been a long-time admirer of her sarcastic wit. I wish for my daughters to grow up to have the same wit and the strength to take on all and any trolls that they may come across in their lives.

Thanks Rohini! And I swing this one right back at ya! You rock, girl!!