You are fine, how am I?

Yes, my parents are finally here! And we are having a great time, thankyou. One person having the most fun is my daughter. She loves the attention they shower on her. So, all is well on that front.

But this has been a crappy week already (and it is only tuesday today). Yesterday, soon after I arrived at my office, I got a call from my husband. The water heater at home had broke. And who was in the midst of all that chaos? My poor parents!! The water heater, I later learnt, was spewing boiling hot water. And my mom and dad were frantically trying to do something, ANYTHING. Only, they didn't have a clue. My mom turned the fuse off but the water was still gushing out. (I was on the phone with her and could hear the water running in the background). So I told her to send my dad downstairs to unit A. God bless the folks living in unit A, for one of them immediately came upstairs and turned the valve to the heater off. I don't even know their names :( That's life in the US for you - you say "Hi" to everyone, day after day and year after year, but don't know their names. I remember, I once took them some cake from my daughter's b'day party. But I still don't know their names :P

Anyway, so I took off early from work yesterday so I could assess the damage at home. Luckily there wasn't much. Then in the evening we had to go pick our new car (YES! We bought a Honda CR-V SE. Not the Acura MDX though, our dream car :(( ) So we reached the dealership at around 5:30 pm. What time do you think we got our car? 9:30 pm!! Everything that could go wrong in the transaction, did. They typed my name wrong on all the papers for starters. They didn't finish installation of all the features we asked for. They couldn't locate the spare keys. We were DEAD tired when we finally got home. Then we had dinner and went to bed. And then, in the middle of night, we got a call from India. The caller forgot what time it was at our end. Thus went our Monday.

Oh well, tuesday has been slightly better - in that it has been uneventful. And my supervisor gave me a very good review for my co-op. He said he is very happy with my work so far. I am glad - I was so low on self-esteem when I started this job that I never thought I could do a good job in any position.

Friday, we leave for Niagara Falls. Till thursday, I am working an hour extra each day. I offered to do this since I took off in the middle of the day yesterday. That .... is... all. Over, and out!

One down, two more to go...

Days, that is. For what, you ask? Until my parents get here. Yes it is a big deal - to me. This is the first time in more than 7 years that they are visiting me. And the first time since I and my husband set up a home for ourselves. So, we are excited. And we are waiting with bated breath :D

This week was not so bad. Considering we saved ourselves a great deal of money. How much? I'd say about 40-45 grand. How? By not buying a new car :P We decided to buy an Acura MDX. Even took one out for a test ride. Lovvvvvvvved it. Then, two days later, my husband went to the dealership to start the paperwork (for registration, insurance etc.) and then we got cold feet. We calculated that we would be spending over 1000 dollars extra each month. And THAT made us say "Not yet!". It's not that we cannot afford it - but our priorities are different right now. We want to own a house first. We could, even if we bought this car. But this way we can do it sooner. Does that sound very "chicken-y"? I hope this turns out to be a wise decision....

Today is the last day of my daughter's summer camp. I am happy that she will finally get to relax and spend a couple of weeks as one should during one's vacation. I sometimes wish we had enough money and/or support to allow her to stay at home to and do NOTHING to enjoy her vacation. I remember that is how I spent mine. I would just stay in my room the whole hot day, sketch and read like crazy and come out only for food. Nothing else could entice me out from the confines of "my cave". I still miss those carefree days when my biggest worry was "What will I read when this book is over?". Well, the only consolation is - my daughter loves the camp. Maybe she doesn't know any better ;)

Ohhhhhh! This is a VERY long friday. I, and a few colleagues of mine, went out for lunch together. Came back after an hour and a half. And its still 3:30. TWO more hours to go until I can pack my bags and leave for the weekend. My boss is working from home today - smart fellow. Lucky too! I am just counting the loooooooong hours, minutes and seconds. I even warned a colleague "DO NOT mess with me on a Friday!" He got the message. Haven't seen him since.

Can you hear me now? Good!

This well-known line from Verizon totally depicts my relationship with God these days :D He can definitely hear me. I was looking for a job - I found one. I was looking for mental peace - I'm getting there now (and hence my screen name for blogger.com). I desparately wanted my parents to get visa to come visit us - THEY GOT IT!!!! I am excited. I am elated. I am ecstatic. I am euphoric.

Now I am waiting for Him to hear another wish of mine. Will let you know when it is fulfilled. (Don't want to jinx it - do we?!)

This week started on a dismal note. But it is getting better by the day. I am learning to be optimistic again.

I have promised my daughter that today will be a no-yelling day for all of us. We won't yell at her if she listens promptly to us. Wink, wink. Good idea to get your kids to listen to you - innit? And if they don't (listen to you) and you do (yell, I mean) then its because they didn't keep their part of the promise. He he he... I am a genius!!

Now I am under a LOT of stress. Have to straighten out the apartment before my mom gets here and confirms her "lazybones" impression of mine. Have to call a few self-storage companies 'coz we have to find a storage space to dump our stuff to make space for their stuff. I realize we are becoming quite the pack rats. Its not like our apartment is very small - we have two bedrooms and two living rooms. Each bedroom has a wall-to-wall closet (not "walk-in" though), there are three more BIG closets to shove our stuff in and a laundry room too. Not bad for an apartment, really. But over the years we have collected sooooo much stuff, its disgusting. I am hoping my mom will throw most of it out when she gets here. I just have to tell her that I NEED it absolutely ;) Ha!

Anyways, gotta go! Lunch break is over!!

The waiting game

My whole life seems to be about waiting right now. I am waiting for the work-week to be over, waiting for my parents to get their visa so they can come visit us, waiting for my classes to start again (I miss college!!) and waiting to get a phone on my desk at work. The last bit is the most difficult. No, wait! The second part - waiting for my parents. Its killing me :( They were supposed to visit us last year (around the same time) but just a week before my parents' visa interview, my dad had a stroke. Thankfully, ma had the presence of mind ot take him to the hospital immediately so he is alright. (I thank my stars I have a mom who can keep her cool in times such as these - more about my mom and why I admire her in another blog). But the stroke left him with impaired vision in one eye (due to a small blood clot in the brain) and his doctors advised him against long distance travel for quite some time. Then, early this year my parents said they were ready to come visit us again and here we are - waiting for them to get their visa. They have "The Interview" tomorrow morning. I can't wait :((

I am excited! This will be the first time my parents will be visiting MY house (all those times when they visited me at my in-laws' place don't count in my opinion). So, I am under a great deal of pressure to prove to my parents that I am a good housekeeper. Oh, who am I kidding? They know how lazy I am :P Anyway, I am eager to show them the "home" my husband and I have set up for ourselves. Its not big (it's an apartment, and I HATE living in it!) and we don't have a lot of luxury items. But it is warm and cozy (well chilly yet cozy at times - specially when it is a 100 degrees outside) and a place where our daughter has the MOST childhood memories. Keeping my fingers crossed and praying SO HARD for my parents to get their visas.

Our daughter is excited too - I have told her that Nana-Nani will have only two jobs (yupp! EVERYONE in our house has to have a job)

1. Reading to her and teaching her how to read and write Hindi
2. Taking her out for walks

Well I know I cheated a little. I combined two jobs in the first one. You don't think they will notice - do you? I am going to absolutely FORBID my mom from entering the kitchen. She and Pa work very hard as it is, and both of them deserve some rest. Well, they can enter the kitchen when they have rested a little :P Did I tell you my dad makes a killer kabuli? (and poha too) My mom - she is a magician where regular food is concerned. And I am dying to cook for them - specially my "famous" dahibade. I know they will love them. This is the first time after getting married that I will celebrate diwali with them. I know they are looking forward to this trip as much as we are. So, won't you PLEASE pray HARD with me for them to get their visas?

Pretty please??!!

If.... then....?

Been wondering. Suppose there is a trailer truck on a straight highway, going at a certain speed, carrying about 12 cars. Say, all the cars suddenly vanish into the thin air. If everything else remains the same (speed, path, wind direction, force etc.) the truck's speed should increase - innit?

Comments welcome....

Nothing tastes better than a(n) ...

...bowl of Bikaneri Bhujia with a cup of tea.
...cup of hot tea in the morning.
...dosa with coconut chutney and sambhar.
...serving of hot roti sabzi that mom used to cook.
...plate of "Kabuli" that dad cooks.
...a toast with a cup of tea when you are VERY hungry.
..."Pakoras" on a rainy day.
..."Chholey-Chaat" prepared by a 'Khomchewala" standing by the side of the road.
...Idli with coconut chutney.
...plate of poha with Ratlami sev.
..."Shahi Samosa" from "Arora Namkins" in Jodhpur.
...Parle-G "biskuts" with a hot cup of tea.
...glass of sugarcane juice on a hot summer afternoon.
...cold watermelon slice.
...glass of cold cofee with icecream as dessert.
...plate of bread poha.
..."Gujhiya" on Holi day!!!

Update: I didn't realize anyone was reading my blog anymore (except my brother and husband) so didn't care to elaborate on the items mentioned in here. Here is an update describing each item briefly, to my best ability, for those who are interested. Those who aren't can skip this section. They can skip this post entirely as I know it isn't very funny. I treat this space as my "Comment/Thought/Vent Space" and come here just to relax and put down whatever might be running through my head at that time.

Bikaneri Bhujia - Fine, savory, spicey fried noodles made with lentil flour. A speciality of Rajasthan, a state in India - my home state. Bikaner is a city in Rajasthan where this wonderful snack originated.

Dosa - A thin crepe made of a slightly fermented batter consisting of lentil flour and rice flour. Fermentation gives it a distinctive slightly sour taste and a wonderful aroma. Sometimes a vegetable (like dry, stir-fried spicey potatoes) is rolled up in it. But tastes good even by itself - atleast to me.

Coconut chutney - A dipping sauce made of fresh, grated coconut. Has many other ingradients, but coconut is the main one.

Sambhar - A lentil soup with a log of veggies in it. A lot of special spices make it a very distinctive dish.

Roti - Indian flat bread made of whole wheat flour.

Sabzi - Vegetables. Mostly any vegetable cooked with Indian spices and herbs.

Kabuli - A special "rice-pilaf". Very rich (in that it has a lot of dry fruits in it) and very filling. But, oddly, I could never have enougvh of it - even if I were bursting at the seams after having eaten a LOT!

Pakoras - Vegetable fritters. Vegetables (like potatoes sliced very thin, cauliflower, onions, spinach and almost every other vegetable you can think of) are dipped into a batter of roasted chickpea flour (mixed with other spices and herbs, ofcourse!) and deep fried. A rainy day is still a very good excuse to start frying these golden, crispy little nuggets. Go well with a steaming hot cup of tea.

Chholey-Chaat - Chholey : Chickpeas cooked Indian style i.e. with spices and herbs. Chaat: Potato patties, covered with chholey and other spicey and/or sweet-sour condiments. ("Khomchewala") :A street vendor with a small stall along the roadside.

Idli - Small Lentil flour+Rice flour cakes steamed. The batter for these is very similar to that for a Dosa. It is fermented too which gives it a distinct aroma and taste.

Poha- OK, I am having difficulty coming up with a description for this :P "Poha" is just boiled rice grains flattened and dried. Then you just gently wash them and cook them with a blend of spices and herbs. Washing makes them fluffy. A very popular breakfast dish in some parts of Middle India (like Madhya Pradesh - my husband's home state).

Ratlami sev - "Ratlam" is a city in Madhya Pradesh. "Ratlami Sev" are so called because they were first made there (I guess) and to my knowledge, you don't find them outside of Madhya Pradesh. I ALWAYS bring back loads of them from my trip to India. They are spicey, fried noodles made with roasted chickpea flour, much like "Bikaneri Bhujia" mentioned above. but the two are very different in taste in you couldn't replace one with another :D I like both.

Shahi Samosa - "Shahi" means "fit for royalty". Samosa is a savory, deep-fried to a crispiness, snack, made of whole-wheat flat-bread filled with a spicey filling of boiled, mashed potatoes. It is usually triangular in shape. Tastes great on its own or with a sweet condiment like ketchup.

Parle-G "biskuts" (Biscuits) - Cookies VERY famous in India. Supposedly very rich in calcium :D I loved them as a kid and my daughther loves them now. Having these cookies with a cup of tea (you dunk them in the tea) on weekend afternoon is a ritual in our family :)

bread poha - See the description for "poha" above. Instead of the rice flakes, you use fresh bread crumbs (not dried) for this. Is an acquired taste I guess - I haven't come across many people who like it. I used to crave this dish when I was pregnant - nothing else! Cooked it at 1 in th morning one time :))

Gujhiya (Holi day) - Ooooooooh! This is my favorite-est!! It is a little bit like empanadas - a semi-circular, deep-fried, crisp sweet filled with a mixture of "mava" (milk boiled and stirred until it dries up into a thick mass that you can no longer stir :D), coconut flakes, sugar, dried fruit flakes (like almonds and cashew nuts) and a whole lot of other goodies. Requires one to be an excellent cook before you can even think of cooking it (in my opinion. There are very few cooks who can cook these to my liking). "Holi Day" is a special festival in India, very close to my heart as I have many fond memories of it, but disliked by many others because it can get very messy and rowdy (well that is a part even i don't like - rowdy I mean). People have fun coloring each other with colors(dry as well as water-based) on this day. This is supposed to be a celebration of the completion of the harvesting season. There are many other meanings associated with it - won't go into them as this post is about FOOD :D

Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be...

I am in a reflective mood today. An hour and half trip to New Jersey (and another 1 1/2 hrs back) does it to me. I think a lot and that is the time I and my husband talk the most. Maybe because there are no chores or TV programs to distract us. Pathetic, isn't it? :)

Anyway, today I was thinking of (some) things that could have been. Like how I always wanted to be a career woman, and then had to go without a job for over 5 years. And now my career is just starting. How I always wanted three kids, for instance, with very little age difference (maybe 15-18 months apart - I know I wasn't thinking straight when I wished that!). What happened in reality? I have one daughter - 6 1/2. I never thought I and my husband would leave his parents' house (we lived in a joint family) and here we are - in Ummreeca :P I was thinking all this and then this song began playing in my head - "When I was just a little girl..........". Haven't been able to get rid of it since :( I do that a lot - think of the past and of things that could have been. Been trying to get rid of that habit - almmmmmost there!

A couple of weeks back, we went to see "Bunty and Babli". Liked it. But in the beginning I was worried about what message my daughter will pick up from the story. After all, she is only 6. Running away from home and living a fun life might seem fascinating. So, she comes to me today and says "You know? Every movie has a message in it for us!" "Really? What do you think this movie wanted to convey?" (We were listening to songs from "Bunty and Babli"). "Well, I think it says don't lie and don't trick people". Hmmm. I have been thinking - is my daughter seeing someone on the side for "parent advice"? I don't remember discussing this with her!!

So you want to know me a little better, do you?

Mint started it all here. I thought doing this would be fun. Besides, I haven't posted in a long time. Here goes....

1. I don’t smoke.
2. I don’t drink – maybe a glass of wine once every six months, but that’s it.
3. I don’t do drugs. Never have.
4. I wanted to smoke very badly once when I was in college. My husband (then my boyfriend) held me back. And I thank him for it now.
5. I like to read murder mysteries.
6. I like to watch thrillers/action-adventure movies.
7. I hate reality television.
8. I love romantic comedies.
9. “Step Mom” is one of my favorite movies.
10. I loooooooove shopping :)
11. I love driving, too.
12. 12 years after completing my Masters in Computer Management, I am still studying. I don’t think I shall ever stop studying. I enjoy it way too much.
13. I love my husband and my daughter very much.
14. I love and respect my parents very much.
15. My brother was my first, true best friend.
16. My husband is my confidante, best friend, pillar of support.
17. I still miss a lot of friends I lost touch with.
18. I love to cook.
19. I love to cook for people who love to eat.
20. I sometimes worry about my parents’ health, wondering if they will get the pleasure of watching my daughter grow up.
21. I am very career-oriented.
22. I am very loyal to my friends.
23. I like being by myself sometimes.
24. I like being with friends sometimes, too.
25. My idea of a nice evening is to have dinner with some close friends, sit around and talk or maybe play monopoly or scrabble. Oh, and the kids are already in bed!
26. When eating out, I am not an experimentalist – I like to stick with the choices that I have already tried and tasted.
27. I am an experimentalist when I cook.
28. I believe that being a “working-out-of-home” mom will make my daughter more independent.
29. I like to help people.
30. I would like to have a little more money (who wouldn’t?) but money isn’t “be all, end all” thing for me.
31. I was very depressed for over two years after my daughter was born – because of a number of factors. They included poor post-partum care and unemployment among other things.
32. When I was a kid, I was very ashamed of my big feet. With time, I learnt to counter criticism (directed at my feet) with “Tall buildings need big foundations”.
33. I am a survivor.
34. I don’t like participating in organized religion. I have religious beliefs, I am tolerant to others’ beliefs and I expect them to tolerate mine.
35. I don’t like politics so I behave like an ostrich where politics is concerned. Bury my head in sand…
36. For me it is very important that my daughter goes to college and has a good career.
37. I used to be a funny, bubbly person. Now I am just a little funny.
38. I regret not learning any musical instrument.
39. I grew up in a desert town.
40. I used to sketch. Now I don’t.
41. I believe terrible parenting begets terrible kids. A kid has to have one good influence in his/her life.
42. Rudeness leaves me speechless. I come up with a million answers to someone’s rude comment five days later : (
43. I feel I am blessed to have my daughter. She is a great kid.
44. When I was pregnant, I wanted a girl and I wanted her to be born in the month of October. Desparately. Why? I don’t know. Both my wishes came true. (My due date was November 9th and my daughter was born on October 31st).
45. I love spending money on books.
46. I don’t listen to many English songs. Absolutely know nothing about western music and am not ashamed in saying so.
47. I am trying to get more knowledgeable about western music. I already know a LOT of nursery rhymes ;)
48. I love western novels. Specially those authored by Loius La’Amour.
49. I make new friends very slowly and break old friendships slower-ly. (If I have to)
50. I still haven’t told you a lot of things about me!! Maybe next time…

New job, lay offs and everything in between

Last few weeks have been very eventful. And seems like the next few will be more so. I got a new full-time job. Exactly what I had been looking for. Co-workers are nice and manager is even nicer. On the other hand, my husband's company is in deep trouble and about 50% employees are going to get laid off. We don't know if he will be one of the fortunate ones to stay or not. Just keeping our fingers crossed and our minds stubbornly on the day-to-day matters - strictly off the tension lying ahead.

I have been thanking God the last few days actually. For my job, for our health (my daughter is getting better) and for how much better off we are than many other people. Last year, around the same time, we were VERY tense. My husband's company was in troubled waters (the current situation is actually an extension of last year's problems) and we were in a very vulnerable position. My husbnd was on H1b visa, I didn't have a job and at that time losing his job meant we would have to pack our bags and return to India. The IT market in India wasn't exactly booming at that time. Also, returning meant tough times for our daughter. Back in India, she would have to learn to read and write a whole new language. Here she is at the top of her class, there she would be at the bottom because the learning system is VERY different in both the countries. This year, we have our Green Cards, which means we don't have to return. I have a job, which means we can still get insurance coverage. AND WE DIDN'T BUY THE ACURA MDX THAT WE WERE THINKING OF BUYING!!! I mean, I would hate to pay a car installment at this tense time of our lives :) Things are definitely much better this time......

Work is good. I still am not doing much - just getting the hang of things. I happened to walk in on an emergency on the first day. Things haven't quietened down yet. Our offices will be moving to another nearby city in a month or two - so I don't expect things to quiet down for quite some time to come.

Yesterday, I almost murdered a processor :D One of our computers just died on us. My manager called Dell and since the computer was still under warranty, they sent us a new power supply and a new mother board. My manager told me to rebuild the computer so I started working on it. Well, to make a long story short, I bent the pins on the processor badly out of shape. The best thing I did was, confess to my manager in time. And then I helped him find the right tools to fix it - a safety pin and a pair of tweezers. Poor guy spent almost an hour on straightening the pins and finally was able to put in the processor properly in its place. But has been teasing me mercilessly ever since. Said he's thinking of giving me the "Golden Hammer Award for Installing a Processor" :)) I guess there is no relief in sight until I can rebuild another computer - properly this time. Still, I am relieved that the processor was saved!

Nothing new here, guys...

Funny how mundane can comfort you. Specially, when you have been on your toes for the past many months. Just running from one obligation to another. Meeting deadlines, creating new ones, missing a few but trying to be on time for every meeting, class, school activity, field trip, volunteering work and all last-minute parties that pop up. After all this, the prospect of spending the whole weekend laundering, cleaning, cooking and vacuuming is VERY inviting. That is what I meant by having a “relaxing” weekend and that is what I had. Didn’t even bother to study for the much-dreaded finals looming up ahead. Haven’t submitted a lot of labs at all lately – but didn’t even bother to work on them. This is how good my weekend was :D

OK. Its Monday now and I still haven’t posted this. Weekend, as I wrote earlier, was gooooooooooooood. We went out for dinner. Its an Italian place – Bertucci’s. I wish we had an Olive Garden around here. Heard they were coming to our town because of the increasing demand. Spent the whole Sunday afternoon doing laundry. Boy, did THAT feel good! (To have clean clothes at last :D) Will spend the whole week ironing them now. I know I sound crazy going ga-ga over such boring tasks. But believe me, I have been so busy lately, I look forward to the ironing as that would also give me a chance to
1) Think,
2) Stay in front of the idiot box without feeling guilty, and
3) NOT study (Not that I do anyway, but still….)

Tuesday: So, it will be some time before I can publish this blog since my DSL connection is on the blink. UUUURRRRRRGH!! Just got off the phone after telling my woes to yet another tech support. Told her if this problem is not solved this time, I am going to cable. Lets see if I can actually carry out the threat. Whatever the problems with DSL, I think they don’t try to con me into paying more like cable guys. The cable company is regularly coming up with new ways everyday to line their pockets.

Wednesday: I tried to troubleshoot the connection yesterday and WAS able to get connected but today its down again. Thought I should study a little before blogging and after about 20 minutes of studying the connection went down. I know whenever we get on the phone the DSL somehow gets disconnected. But why? No idea. Have had atleast 4 technician visits and they couldn’t figure it out either. Have another one of these visits scheduled for tomorrow. Meanwhile, life is peaceful here…..

From top of the world to down in the dumps

Been thinking of blogging again for the past few days. Just couldn't make it between work, school and family. And ofcourse, TV!! This week started out as crappily as it ever could. And it wasn't that anything had gone wrong. It was all "in my mind". I just didn't want to return to work, or to studies for that matter. Finals are fast approaching so I should have studied over the weekend, but I didn't. Which, I guess, was why I felt the week wasn't going as I wanted it to. But things started improving slowly. First I had a practice exam for CCNA exam 1 on Tuesday and I HADN'T studied a word for it. And I scored 82% on it!! Better still, my score was better than that of others who had (supposedly) been studying. About 15% higher than theirs at that! But being the "grown-up" that I unfortunately am, I couldn't brag about it, could I? And since I have already cleared the actual exam (last year) I thought it was no big deal. Then I started feeling blue again because I hadn't studied for the next practice exam (CCNA 2) either and it was due on Thursday. I'd say one thing though - I could have not taken the exam but I am no quitter! I took it and guess what? I scored 84% this time, again 15% higher than the rest of the class :D I can't stop grinning now. Feel like bragging too - but will hold off on that for now.

11:30 am: Had to take a break to drop my daughter off at school. So, I was on the top of the world today. Nothing could spoil my mood. Or so I thought. My daughter had a dermatologist's appointment this morning just get a small rash checked and get a "she can attend school" note. Did that. Went to school. Presented the note to the nurse who got upset saying how could the doctor have allowed her to return to school when she hadn't even been on any medication for 24 hours as the school policy requires. So I reminded her that the school policy also states that a note from the doctor allows her to return to school (which we had) and that my daughter had already been on medication for over a week (its a suspected ring-worm rash and yes, I do believe that parents should not put other children at risk by sending their sick kids to school but this wasn't such a scenario because she is already being treated for it). I also mentioned that she was seeing a homeopath (I and DH have great FAITH in homoeopathy) for the rash and was ALSO undergoing allopathic treatment for it. I got lectured at for 15 straight minutes about how we shouldn't jeopardize our kids' lives by failing to take these problems seriously. Hello? I said she IS getting treatment! But no - what she meant was we were playing with her life by consulting a homeopath. So here I am now - FUMING. I don't use "cuss-words". I take pride in the fact. But if there ever was a moment when I wanted to use them, and a LOT of them, it is now! Problem is I don't know any. I mean I do, but what I need right now is that heavy-duty stuff that would make you want to wash your mouth with soap later. Anyway, just writing about this had made me feel better. Thank goodness for blogs!!

5:30 pm: Here I am again. Had to stop blogging to do some work:P Now I am feeling much better - having vented in this blog AND with my friend over the phone. She is a lifesaver! I think I would be a VERY depressed, tortured, tormented, restless soul if it were not for this friend's sympathetic ear to every one of my "vents". God bless her! I think everyone should have atleast one such friend (its better if you have a few more as a backup plan). People would be a little less stressed out (keeping your feelings bottled IN is stressful, I believe) and a little more relaxed. Ciao everyone! I am off to have a relaxing weekend.

Pa-tience-hood

Thats what I call my role as a parent. I openly agree that being a parent has made me more patient (much to the relief of people who work with me). I now understand that people have their limitations and that everyone cannot be as quick or perfect as I'd like them to be. Not that I am quick or perfect. But can that stop anyone from expecting others to be so? Here is a "before-and-after" scenario -

THEN
I ask my DH (darling husband) to get a bottle of sundried tomatoes out of the refrigerator.
I: Can you please get me the bottle of sundried tomatoes from the fridge?
DH (opens the fridge): I can't see it.
I: It's there, right in front of you!
DH: Nope. can't see it.
I:WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T SEE IT?? YOU HAVE EYES DON'T YOU? IT'S RIGHT THERE ON THE BOTTOM SHELF. $#@$#@#!#@#!!!

After this, obviously, DH would leave the kitchen furiously muttering under his breath and I would stay in the kitchen fuming...

NOW
I: Can you please get me the bottle of sundried tomatoes from the fridge?
DH (opens the fridge): I can't see it.
I: It's there, right in front of you!
DH: Nope. can't see it.
I: Look at the bottom shelf. (Now assume DH is following my directions)
Now, look in the back, left corner. Do you see the milk carton? (Yes he does!)
Its right behind that. NO, NO!! Take the milk carton out of there first. Right! Now take the bottle out. Thanks!! Don't forget to put the milk back in.

After this, DH usually helps around the kitchen a little more and I happily cook away :)

This is not the only way in which I have changed after becoming a parent. There was a time I was terrified of all bugs, despised them with all my might and seeing even a dead one anywhere in a 10 ft radius would send me in a screaming frenzy (OK I exaggerated a little bit, but you get the picture) Last week, my daughter came home with a weekend assignment - find a bug/worm and bring it to school. Not once did the thought of asking my husband to help her entered my mind. So here we were - my daughter and I - all ready with gloves and sticks and a box, hunting for bugs. It was actually a family affair. We did find one big, fat worm. And I am very proud to say that I was the one to pick it up and put it in the box :D So now my daughter has a new hobby - everywhere she goes, she is looking for worms. One day, when I picked her up from the bus stop after school, she happily declared - "I found two bugs today. And I named them Brucee and Trucee. I lost Brucee (pout) but Trucee is still in my pocket". "WHAT? In your POCKET???" "Yeah mom. Don't worry, I put some dirt in there too, to keep him happy". Unfortunately Trucee slipped out of her hand too while we were driving back to home. So now we have one lost, probably terrified worm somewhere in our car looking for his way back to the warm, cozy, "dirtful" pocket of the only person that ever loved it with her whole heart. And one VERY proud mom - proud because her daughter is so sensitive she would even fill her pocket with dirt to keep one teeny-tiny worm happy.

When the going gets tough.....

Today, while watching a program on TV I somehow began thinking about how adverse situations, tragedies, difficulties reshape our entire being. Some people break apart, some come out stronger. No one goes unscathed! And then, I began thinking about my daughter. She is 6 years old - will be six and a half in April end. She started losing her hair last year, sometime in January or February. She had very thick hair and it took us a long time (about 4-5 months) to realize what was going on. She had a condition called "Alopecia Areata". Its an auto-immune condition, where a person's own immune system starts attacking their hair follicle. Later last year, around October, she lost almost all her hair. Earlier this year, she started losing hair from other parts of her body like legs and arms. We were devastated. The only thing that helped us keep our wits together and maintain composure was the thought that if we lose control how will it affect her? Now she is still fighting it, but has gotten most of her hair back. The thing that amazes me the most is my daughter's resilience. Throughout this ordeal, she hasn't once cried about it, refused covering up her head when I offered her to buy some pretty hats sayig "It really doesn't bother me" and has really shown a courage that has kept US going. About two weeks back, she and I were talking about how God sends difficulties only to those who can handle them. It was then, almost 7 months after we first knew what was going on, she said to me "But mommy, why did God have to send this problem to me? " It broke my heart but I managed to say "Because He knew you were strong enough to get through it". In my mind I was screaming "Yes, WHY HER?????". But my daughter accepted that explanation calmly. Sometimes I wonder if she is more mature than I am. Sometimes I KNOW that she is :P

All my life, I have clinged to one mantra that has taken me through many a rough times - "When the going gets tough, the tough get going". I guess my daughter learnt that all on her own. Sometimes, being a die-hard optimist, I feel it has been a valuable lesson (rather a collection of lessons) for all of us. The first one that my daughter learnt was - Looks aren't everything. She is still beautiful to us, all her friends still love her and she is still healthy. Second, we have truly learnt to look at the glass as half full. Instead of complaining about the problems she has, we focus on the fact that since her immune system is in an overdrive, she hasn't came down with any of the typical infections that kids bring home from school in over 8 months! There are other lessons which routinely surface but none come to my mind immediately.

I once asked God - "Why her? She is so young!!". Now I thank Him for also giving her the strength to deal with it. (I still ask "Why her..."). I hope one day we will be able to look back upon all this and wonder "How the heck did we get through such difficult times?" . I am sure of one thing. We WILL. Get through, I mean.

Getting Started

Well, here I am! Needed someplace to express all my opinions (and I have tons of them :P). Comments are welcome. Signing off now. Will blog later.....