I stand corrected - by an Anonymous commentor and "Sherry" (read comments section). Sherry tells me that Angelina was talking about empathy in that interview when she mentioned how her adopted children have gone through a lot at such a young age and that Shiloh is lucky. Well, reminded me why I stay away from these dang tabloids! They twist everything so out of context. Anyway, my views on favoritism stay the same. They just don't apply to Angelina any more.
Yesterday, while I was waiting for my laptop to shut down before going home (yes, it takes a few minutes!) I browsed through an old issue (December 31, 2007) of "Star" magazine that somehow appeared on my desk one day (I swear I don't know how). Now, I am not a celebrity hound. Far from it - I couldn't care less if even my favorite celebrities's blown up mugs adorned the front page of a tabloid with sensational titles across the page. I rarely react strongly to any news involving celebrities. Celebrity news does not even form a blip on my radar. But while turning the pages I just stopped briefly at a small article about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (mainly because it was short enough that I could read it in a few minutes). It was about how they are also fighting (among other things) over the issue of having another biological child. Brad wants one before they adopt another baby. Angelina doesn't. Well, that's not what induced this rant. What did was Jolie's comment about her biological daughter, Shiloh. I later did a Google search and found that comment here too.
I'll quote the article I found online. The parts in bold were also in the Star magazine article.
"...she feels more of a connection to her adopted kids than her baby with partner Brad Pitt, because they have already survived such pain and poverty in their young lives."
She says, "...... I felt so much more for Madd, Zahara and Pax because they were survivors."
"Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born. But I'm conscious that I have to make sure I don't ignore her needs, just because I think the others are more vulnerable."
I know this is old news. I am usually the last one to know of these matters (I just learnt last week that the Bachchans had the kissing scene in Dhoom 2 chopped before Aish-Abhishek's wedding. I didn't even know there WAS a kissing scene! Can you say "Blissfully ignorant"??!) But when I read the article my mind just went "Wha....??". And then I felt this anger building up inside me. In my opinion, there are very few "crimes" in a relationship as grave as favoritism by parents towards their kids and someone cheating on their spouse. I have already been thinking about spousal cheating and intended to write a post on that - so more on that later. And I have no words to describe the disgust I feel for parents who play favoritsm with their own kids.
Everyone expects people who adopt, to treat their adopted kids same as their biological ones. But this statement here? To me it reeks of a being a publicity stunt. Does Angelina think it makes her noble to openly admit that Shiloh isn't as important to her as her other kids? That Shiloh doesn't generate the same feelings in her as her adopted kids do? Forget adopted and biological. If she were truly a loving parent, the issue of adopted vs. biological wouldn't even figure anywhere in the scheme of things. They would all be her kids. Period!
Shiloh didn't ask to be born into a privileged home. Just like Madd, Zahara and Pax didn't ask to be born into poverty. So, how does being born into poverty become a virtue and being born privileged, a crime? If you ask me, Angelina has no business being a mother if this is her outlook on things. Did she pause to think even once how Shiloh would feel when she grows a little older and learns that her own mother made this statement about her? I hope Brad is taking better care of Shiloh's emotional needs. And of the other kids too. Because just providing a name, shelter, food, clothing and toys does not a parent make.
'Nuff said!
All that information and you have based it on a comment out of 'STAR'...you are assuming that the comment was even true and quoted by her...Cmon...take it with a grain of salt...Generally the only truth in those is the photo is actually of the star...nothing else...cmon you are not that nai...well maybe you are.
ReplyDeleteYeah, well maybe I am. Maybe not.
ReplyDeleteExactly what the other person said - it was quoted from a tabloid. If you hear the actual interview she is saying that she feels more in the sense of more EMPATHY for the three adopted kids because they've been through a lot of horror and hard times even at their young age. And what she said about Shiloh was that she never had to know hardship, she was lucky.
ReplyDeleteShe wasn't displaying favoritism just explaining empathy which is not the same thing as preference.
But naturally the tabloids prefer to twist the story around to be as inflammatory as possible. Don't believe everything you read from the trash rags, they make good money off their crap lies.
You know something..I have always wanted to adopt a child.. I have a biological kid and want to adopt the second one.. and this is the argument my husband and I have all the time.. what if subconsciously we show favoritism either way? Or in the effort to be just, we are just too just? If you know what I mean!! What if others in the family do this?? The argument continues.. and I don't think I will ever realize this dream due to such questions that plague me!
ReplyDeleteI agree..
ReplyDeleteI have no idea about any of this, so I guess I fall in the blissfully ignorant category as well :D
You know, its takes a lot of courage to raise any child, sympathy or empathy, and I have to hand that to this lady.
ReplyDeleteSherry: Refer to the update on the post, please. I must say that, being skeptical about basic human nature as I am, I still think there might be a little bit of truth to it.
ReplyDeletePreethi: I know what you mean by being "too just". ANY kind of favoritism towards one's kids (biological OR adopted) is not acceptable in my opinion.
Chandni: Please specify who do you agree with :D
Kiran: I admire her for that as well. But my rant was for the comment she (supposedly) made. No matter how hard it might become to raise one's children, favoritism is NEVER acceptable. I understand favoring one person over another is human nature and we do it everyday conciously or subconciously. But as a parent I have an obligation to favor all my kids equally. At least until they grow up and give me real reasons to favor one over another. And even then, if I play favorites with my kids purely based on their social status, or for reasons beyond their control, shame be on me. [Been through that with ILs, but you can't tell, can you? :P]
Or you can be like my parents... BOTH my brother and I thought the other was the favourite child so BOTH of us grew up with complexes. Or so we like to think. :)
ReplyDeleteChill, CeeKay.
Oh, and congrats to Baby M on getting mobile.
I have to think there is some truth in those quotes, it wouldn't be the first time she said something like that. And even if we heard the interview there is always the chance that it was edited to make her sound less harsh. Guess we will never know, eh?
ReplyDeleteI also agree that blatently favoring one child over another is so hurtful. I see it with my own kids. The 3 older boys spend half of the week with their dad and his favorite is the younger one. The oldest torments the younger one because of it, and the middle one just leaves the house so he doesn't have to deal with it, the younger one is left feeling guilty for something he has no control over. I have addressed my ex about this many times but he just yells and threatens and refuses to listen. It is horrible to watch it tear the boys apart.
Agree with you - which is one of my worries about adopting when I have biological children - favouring either way. Growing up, I always thought my sister was the favourite - she was younger, prettier, daintier...but now I have kids of my own I realise how impossible it is to pick a favourite, even if I wanted to...
ReplyDeleteHonestly - all that shrill ranting and over-interpreting some random comment to conclude that this woman who has moved mountains to take on the responsibility and the privilege of raising 4 kids is displaying favouritism! Like someone said, just Chill.. Sorry, i realised i can just click away if i'm irritated . Bye!
ReplyDeleteSue: You know there is only so much one can blame on the parents :P
ReplyDeleteChill?? No with the already chilly Northeast weather, I need something to bring my blood to a boil. This issue has served well!
I think sympathies are in order for the baby's mobility :P But thanks for the congratulations anyway :D
Grail: I guess someone who has seen how favoritism affects children will definitely understand how I feel over this issue.
BEV: I have seen some parents play favorites. I have a friend who said, very matter-of-factly - "All parents do it. One needs to accept that fact". But I can't I guess she grew up in a family where favoritism was the order of the day but I didn't. And that is why it is very difficult for me to understand or accept it.
Anonymous: I doubt you will come back, but I'll reply anyway. This lady is not the only one on this earth to have moved mountains (in adopting these kids, I am assuming that is what you meant). There are a lot of parents who adopt and go through the same tough process to finally get their child(ren). If anything, this woman's celebrity status may have made the process a little bit easier for her (not to mention her financial status). But even then no parent gets the license to play favorites. That is what my "shrill rant" is about. And no. I didn't over-interpret anything. The comments I quoted mean exactly what I said they do. It is a possibility that her comments were twisted out of context, for which I have already updated the post. But if they weren't (twisted) then my opinion remains the same.
I welcome different opinions but it is the rude commenters who are welcome to "click the X".
That's one of my worries as a parent too and I hope that none of my kids grow up thinking that I favoured one over the other. As parents, we treat all our children same but how they sometimes percieve our actions is a different story and that's what scares me. I have three more sisters but I never felt any favouritism from our parents while growing up, but I can imagine how hurtful could it be for the child who is experiencing it in their households.
ReplyDeletetagged yet again.. :D
ReplyDelete