Oops! Look like maine Cee ma’m ka dil dukha diya! Since I saw your picture after M and u were looking terrific the way u used to look in college, I forgot about impact of IVFs,etc. But you are right. Hairs could be a big reason. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve succeeded to reduce my 4 month pregnant tummy to 2 months. I’m working on it to bring it back to size before I had kids but itne samay me jo boya hai usko katne me mahanat+time dono lagta hai. Response is very slow par I’ll keep trying. Umeed par hi to duniya tiki hai!!!!(Wah.Wah!!). My god this juggling is painful. Looks like entire life will go like this. Chalo have some energy and do your best.
This is what I wrote in reply -
Ah! Frankly? I did feel a little bad that you assumed I am doing nothing about my weight. And yes, the IVF was a real bi**h. Went through a whole lot to get this bundle of joy :P I am scared sh**less of needles. And I had to poke myself FOUR times each day for two-three weeks for each IVF cycle. The first time I did it, I broke down and cried - I was so scared :( I developed all sorts of health problems due to the medication too - PUPP, high blood pressure, depression etc. due to all the progesterone and estrogen etc. I am glad the second cycle was successful because I had made the decision to stop the treatment if the second cycle failed.
I have joined a fitness boot camp that has classes three days a week from 5:30 - 6:30 am. And I have replaced one meal with a HUGE salad :P Since I hate salads (for meals, not as side dishes) with all my might, that is something I am immensely proud of :)
I am at a point where I am not happy with my weight but not ashamed of it either. I don't suck in my belly before walking into a room full of people. It is what it is and I know I am working on it. J is a sweetheart and a huge help. He encourages without pressurizing - and that is what works for me. If he had pressurized me, one of us would be dead :D
I am growing my hair so I can donate it to an organization that makes wigs for kids who lose their hair to different medical conditions. For that I need to grow it to about 14 inches. It is about 6 inches long right now. So I have quite a bit of torture in store for me. If you remember, I hate long hair (on me). This idea came because S had lost almost all her hair to Alopecia Areata, but regained it luckily with homeopathy treatment. This is my way of saying thanks for the regained hair.
I am sorry for the "what's your excuse" barb. I know we have such a big struggle ahead of us - all the juggling between work and home and husbands and kids and then we are supposed to keep ourselves healthy too? Can't that come as a reward or something for doing so much?
I think you are fine to write to her like that, even if she is an old college friend. If you can't be frank with old friends, who can you be frank with? And you've done her a favor - she'll be slightly more careful and sensitive the next time she's writing to other people. And if she's a real friend, she won't hold it against you but will see where you are coming from.
ReplyDeleteAlthough from someone who admits she has a "4 month pregnant tummy" and can't get the weight off easily, I would say commenting on your weight is rich. Perhaps you shold have just written to her about the utter inadvisability of people living in glass houses throwing stones and other implements.
n!
Aww Cee, I know just what it is with the damn IVFs, they bloat one up beyond recognition, but you have your beautiful baby now and thats a blessing.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are beautiful inside out. Weight is absolutely secondary. And you are fit.
Thats what is important.
The trouble is that weight seems to be the most obvious change which everyone can see, but may not know the history behind. I was most offended when a cousin commented on my increased weight, since he didn't know my recent health history which included a major surgery followed by a thyroid problem. And then I barely recognise my favourite hair dresser as she had put on weight since I'd seen her last. Like an eejit I commented- apparently this was normal for her, she'd been very thin earlier owing to illness. I felt stupid for commenting, but it was so instinctive. Must hold my tongue, esp. because I know what it feels like, being undoubtedly overweight myself.
ReplyDeleteYou come across as having so much energy, working so hard, and having so much good sense- it's aprivilege knowing you, even if we haven't met yet.
Irrelevant aside- My husband used to be really really skinny. Now that there's some more of him, I love calling him Motu and Fatto, just for fun.
Applaud your effort to get fit. With your busy schedule, enrolling at the boot camp must take a lot out of you.
ReplyDeleteIF is so stressful and having a healthy happy baby as a result is the best gift you can ask for. The rest will fall into place.
I have had 3 IUIs and will be starting on my first IVF cycle tomorrow. Scaring me silly!
n!: I hope she is careful in future. I haven't heard back from her yet after my last email - could be she is busy, could be she is ticked off :) I am still chuckling at the last line of your comment. I should've indeed!
ReplyDeleteKiran: Ah! That's where the rub is - I ain't fit no more :( I used to be, even during my pregnancy, but not now. Not yet. As you know, I am working on it.
Dipali: Thank you! It is a privilege knowing you too - somehow I feel a bond with you even though we haven't met yet. My mom calls me "Motu" affectionately and that I don't mind. It pinches because now it is a reality, but I know she isn't teasing me, just calling me affectionately. But this weight problem has taken my sense of humor away. Or maybe it is still here, deep under the layers of fat :D
Chips: *HUGS* All the best for your IVF cycle. I thought of you the first thing in the morning when I woke up today. I remember how nervous and excited I was when I started my IVF cycle. Feel free to email me at gettingtherenow at gmail dot com if you need a pair of ears to listen to (read) your woes. I have been where you are right now, and I am a patient listener. I might even know the right words to make you feel better :P
Is there something you haven't been through?
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice gesture to grow your hair longer for locks of love (i assume?)!!
i hope you had a chance to measure yourself before you started the bootcamp. i know it's depressing to see those numbers, but its amazing to see them burn down too :)
i still remember how ecstatic i was when i lost 10inches in the first six weeks! (overall, but still...)
sending best wishes and happy thoughts your way!
Don't attack...just say "Thank you for your concern, but you hurt my feelings." You will get an apology, guaranteed.
ReplyDelete