...tough people do. I have always believed in that. But boy! This business of being tough people is not easy! The past few weeks (or has it been a month already?) have been tough in various ways at various times. I was sick. Very. Then I had to study for an exam. Which I couldn't. Flunked the exam. Not blaming anyone/anything for it. Not making any excuses either. Flunking the exam didn't make or break anything for me - it was a re-certification and I still have time. I am confident I can do it. Will reschedule the exam and this time I will definitely pass it. Or, I promise you, I won't write about flunking it ;)
A couple of weeks ago I learned that my company is probably preparing to lay me off/ fire me along with a few others. I think it is a business/financial reason. I am the kind of person who "hopes for the best and prepares for the worst". So this particular revelation has only helped me. I am not broken-hearted upon learning it though, truthfully, I was pissed in the beginning. I don't believe in doing the kind of petty things one of my former bosses did - he deleted a lot of information regarding his work from the company network before leaving. I don't think it caused any serious damage though it did cause major inconveniences. He left without telling us some major passwords and the company had to shell out some dough (and waste precious time) in getting those passwords reset. I am not that kind of person. So I am not deleting anything I have worked on. But this has left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth. I have had certain major issues but I have always refrained from blogging about them and will do the same even now. Moving on!
S has been having some emotional issues. Or, I should say, her emotional issues have been emerging lately. Turns out she did experience some sibling rivalry. Her way to get back at the baby? She mixed some regular Vicks Vaporub with the baby's. I and J had a good laugh at it :P For about 3 weeks now, she has been telling me "bad" things she has been doing. Like *GASP* not brushing her teeth properly! Or, eating some candy on the sly. She even didn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom a few times!! Frankly, I found most of her confessions funny. And I felt RELIEF!! Yes, I am not kidding. All these years I have been beating myself up that I have straitjacketed my daughter in rules so tightly that she has forgotten how to behave like a kid. Turns out she didn't. Only, she didn't tell us that she was being a kid :D But I do discuss every "confession" with her to see if she understands why she was required to do/ not do certain things in the first place. And then I let it go with "It's OK. It's done. It's in the past now".
One confession that did get her grounded (with suitable explanations which were completely understood by her) was that she had skipped most of her strings lessons at school to go to the gym. J and I had two issues with it. One - we pay FOUR frickin' HUNDRED dollars a year to rent that violin for her and if she isn't even using it, that's money down the drain. Two (more important) - it is a safety issue. Say, she skips strings class to go to the gym. Strings teacher thinks she isn't in the school. Gym teacher isn't expecting her in the gym. The school catches fire and needs to be evacuated. Will someone miss her and look for her? I know it is a far fetched reason, but please refer to the "hope for the best and prepare for the worst" statement above. So, she has been grounded with "no media, no play dates" for 2 weeks. Media includes TV (of course!), videos, DVDs/CD's, video games and Wii. She cannot fill the time left open by lack of media with books. She has to help around the house during that time. You can send her sympathies for the double-meanie parents she has and I promise I will convey the sympathies to her :D
Now, S says she is extremely sad. All these confessions have made her realize what a terrible kid she is (her words, not mine). Three nights ago she said she sometimes felt like killing herself - she feels that bad. Said she feels like going into the kitchen and stabbing herself with a knife. That wrenched my gut. And stabbed my heart with fear. I don't want to overreact, but I don't want to take it lightly either. I am thinking of talking to her doctor but am afraid of setting off some unnecessary alarm bells in the doctor's head. I asked S if I quit my job and stay at home and spend more time with her, would that make her feel better? She said my job is NOT the issue (again, her words, not mine). J and I are trying to get it across to her that all that she has done is not really terrible. It is just normal stuff that normal kids do. Any other ideas?
I have also borrowed an idea from her fourth grade teacher and implemented it. I have started a "Talk back Journal" with S in which we write letters to each other about random things. S' fourth grade teacher did that with all her students and I saw that those letters allowed kids to express feelings/thoughts that they were normally hesitant in expressing. We have each written about 2 letters to the other by now. In one of my letters I mentioned one goofy thing I did in my younger days. My intention was to tell her that ALL kids do it. I intend to write about a few other things I did that she might identify with. I and J have been continuously telling her that the mere fact that she came to us and owned up to all this has made us proud of her. How many kids do we know who would do something wrong and then go and fess up with their parents? None. Except her. It is a delicate balance we have to keep here - make her understand that all this is not as terrible as she thinks it is, and yet not to make her think that doing all this is OK as all kids do it. The rules were created for some reason, you know.
This, combined with the tension at work, is draining me out. To top it off, I have joined a fitness boot camp. Classes are form 5:30 to 6:30 AM, on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. First class was yesterday. I have to wake up at 4:45 am now, to be able to get to the class by 5:20 am. Which means I have to get in bed by 9:30-10 pm. Which is almost impossible given that I get back home by 7 pm, spend some time with the girls (outdoors if the weather is nice, indoors otherwise), cook dinner, feed M (S eats by herself), give M her night-time bottle and put her to bed after J bathes her (J would do it gladly but I want that time with her), help S wash her hair if need be, put S to bed, eat dinner, pack lunches for next day and clean up and get a set of clothes ready for the next day. Doing all this in a short period of two and a half hours? Seems impossible. But I hope to pull it off - with some heavy duty help from J.
So, this is what has kept me from blogging for the past so many weeks. I know I have to write a "One Year" post, and one on the budday party, and another one is lined up about some gems from S. A lot to do. No time to do it :(
Good luck lady!! You rally have a lot on ur platter to deal with!
ReplyDeleteI think I would do what you are already doing with S and I would tell her time and again how much I love her. Whatever she does might make me upset or even mad but doesn't decrease my love for her one bit. And it hurts me when she says something as serious as this. Tell her how much u love spending time with her, sharing notes with her and the likes.
I think you are doing a great thing by sharing your own goof ups with her - makes kids identify with u so much more. May be you could also tell her how hurt you felt when you were blasted by up parents for having done something but all of that was forgotten soon (once u paid the price by doing whatever) and everybody was back to having fun and so on.
Shall watch this space for more ideas
That's a tough one girlie! It really messes your head when they start thinking of such drastic steps. Just keep doing what you are doing and hopefully this phase will pass.
ReplyDeleteJust a thought, maybe she said that to get more of your & J's attention what with you busy with work & life et al? You sharing what you did when you were young is priceless. Am sure that will help. Thoughts are with you. Good luck!
On a lighter note, I really liked the idea of using their timeout time to help around the house. Will try that next time:)
I'm sorry to hear about the tough scene at work, but I'm sure a tough gal like you will take things in her stride and come out the winner.
ReplyDeleteWhat worries me is S and her talking about being a bad girl. It's a delicate situation and seems like you're doing all the right things. Maybe she's worried that with her minor discipline lapses, she has let you down and betrayed your trust in her? She comes across as a very sensitive child and maybe that's bothering her? I think reiterating that these are childhood things everyone goes through and that you're pround of her might help. Wishing you all the best in the coming days - hugs.
whoa, and i thought i had my plate full. you have two plates full!
ReplyDeletei admire you for your dedication to the fitness program - go girl. with S, i wish i had suggestions to give you but i think you're already doing a everything with her.
hang tough, hon.
hugs!
Re the work scene, I'm sure a better opportunity will come your way. It's their loss, really.
ReplyDeleteAbout S, god, I sometimes worry we moms are really so particular about rules. I know I never would've been able to tolerate a bratty child, but sometimes I wish I gave Raina more leeway to be naughty. Definitely something for me to chew on. But I do think you're handling it the right way.
i guess thats what she needs- to understand that you were also probably lik her at this age- sharing more of such stories to show sh is not unique
ReplyDeletethe diary thing is a good one. will keep that in mind for future
may b sh is feeling a littl lft out after the baby
sh was so used to having u & J all for herself!
so sh needs more me time with u i guess
all th best
Do I see a super woman in the making? :)
ReplyDeleteYou know after reading this post I was just thinking what all I have in store for me in the future. I guess I need to gear up for that early!
I was wondering how should one strike a balance between getting your kids to confess and giving them punishments, such as time-outs or no media like you said, in a way so that they don't stop confessing in the future for the fear of such punishments.
And I really liked the idea of writing letters to each other. I've stored it up in my memory to be used in future. And I really hope I remember it when times come to use it :D
And yeah I went :O at her saying trying kill herself with a kitchen knife! These kids these days are just way beyond our imagination.
ReplyDeleteDid you talk to her about it further? I think it would be a good idea if you talk to her about the consequences of such dreadful acts.
After reading this post, I would be surprised and concerned to see you blogging! Go on and sort out everything but take some time out to rest too Cee Kay. I can guess your energy levels are way higher (than mine) but still! Just some friendly thoughts here, please don't mind.
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing the right thing with S, my mom used to slip in some titbits of her own naughtiness whenever I was feeling particularly down about something I had done - and it worked like magic!
Good luck on the job front. I guess its happening everywhere. We lost some very nice friends/colleagues in layoffs couple of months back... it was a sad day for all. :(
Good heavens - thats a hell of a lot of hard work. Good luck !
ReplyDeleteJob...Something better is in store for you and to make place for the new you have to let go of the old. Even if they decide to let you go celebrate it because universe has something better for you.
ReplyDeleteEverything always happens for the best.
S...When kids say something like this it should concern us (which I know you are)and not to be taken lightly. Pre-teens is the kind of age where they are trying to learn things about the world as well as about themselves. Their own likes and dislikes, their personality, as well as trying to deal with peer pressure.
Let's look at the situation of skipping the string class and going to the gym. As a parent we always want to do the right thing and raise good kids. Also keep in mind good deed needs to rewarded..always catch them being good.
So did her good deed of telling you the truth about the string class get awarded? Or she just got grounded ?
Ceekay kids at this age are very sensitive,, they take thing very personally and small things (which may seem small to us) can send them into depression.
You have to send the message to her first that you are so proud of her that she had the courage and honesty of coming to you and telling you what she did. It requires a brave girl to do that even though she may have known that she may get grounded for that. You have to convey this to her first that you are proud of her for telling the truth( even though you would have found that out sooner or later )and for that she is going to get alone time with mom..a drive to nearby Braums for an ice-cream cone after dinner just you and her.
But at the same time she has to face the consequences(not punishment)for skipping the string class. Since this was the first time let her choose her own consequenses..may be practicing half an hr each day on strings or anything positive... taking away the media which is the only source of entertainment or relaxation or stress relief for the kids here may not be as helpful to the situation as the extra practice on strings would be.
At the end of the two weeks she gets to present a mini concert to mom dad and the baby of whatever she has practiced and then everyone goes to the ice cream store.
Vinita
A very big hug. there is a better job waiting for you out there. Don't fret. You are juggling so many things here.. wish I could help out in some lil way (atleast watering your plants)
ReplyDeleteI would not take what S said lightly. She is a very sensitive child and she confessed. That was a brave thing to do. Maybe you can discuss the punishment with her. Chip is only three but on some (serious) occassions I ask him what he thinks his punishment should be. If not anything else, it gives me a perspective, how serious he thinks the issue is. When I read about being grounded for 2 weeks, I winced. That's a LOT for her age. she is such a mature girl, ceekay, cut her some slack. She is already suffering from sibling jealousy.. pls don't punish the symptom, but treat the cause.
I am sorry if I am being blunt, but hey, I have to speak my mind. You are such an awesome woman, really. My jaw drops at the amount of stuff you do (and I always thought I was this high energy person) Good luck with your boot camp. I have never had the courage to try em!
awww hugs, Cee!! Too bad abt the test - but am sure you'll kick ass next time.
ReplyDeleteHow is S doing now, post confession? I think she is trying out teeny tiny rebellions in her own restrained way. I quite liked Vinita's suggestion of proactive 'punishment' for cutting strings lessons. Grounding is the first thing that we resort to, unf. I wud have done the same in ur sitch. Till I read Vinita's suggestion and realised there are other decent ways too!!!
Her comment abt killing herself is real chilling. I think what u are doing - sharing bits from ur own girlyhod - is a good thing. I can see how full ur plate is but maybe every Sunday, u and S can have an hour or so just for the two of u? When u can just cycle, go to the park / get an icecream / just chill? Then u can talk abt anything under the sun - for eg, u tell her a real embarrassing event (er, PG12 one, that is!) from ur childhood and she has to reciprocate? . Poss J could do the same too another day of the week - they could prolly go for dinner every friday night or something. Just so S knows she is still special to the pair of u.
As she knows ur relationship with the new, maturing her is also undergoing a change, regardless of the presence of M, she wud become herself again.
Big hugs to u. keep us posted.
just got back and read this. i dont know what to say... i'd have reacted by grounding too.. but i realise my parents always rewarded honesty with something positive. or just forgave me. if i were punished for honesty i'd not be very honest.
ReplyDeletesecond.. she just broke my heart with the sibling rivalry thing... i dont know what to do about it.. but its paramount. siblings need parents to encourage the bond. i am sure you will figure a way out.. for now i am too shaken to come up with anything.
hugs
As for the job...they come and they go. Take your severance and enjoy some time off with the girls. It's summer!
ReplyDeleteGood that S came clean, she's a sensitive one-just like Mini-me. Skipping class is a no-no as you said mainly for safety reasons. We just went through that at my house and two Saturday detentions were assigned at my request by the school. If S isn't interesting in continuing strings or doesn't like the teacher then let her drop it, all it will become is a chore and the joy of music and performing is lost, oftentimes forever.
As far as S telling you she didn't brush her teeth, wash hands, etc. I think your reaction was spot on. It's done and over with. The knife thing is a little disconcerting but some individual one on one time without M and letting her know that we are all human and do stupid things and mom was once a kid too will work wonders.
Hang in there.
CeeKay, I started learning the piano at the age of 7 and when I was around 11 or 12, I was so sick of having to practice (the novelty having worn off by then and seeing very little progress) that I just stopped practicing. My mom said, ok I could stop permanently after I'd completed a year but I had to complete that year and after I was done, I could give up everything, the lessons, piano everything. After a year, I was OK and volunteered to continue and never stopped afterwards.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm not actually sure getting your daughter to practice the violin is going to be helpful instead of grounding. She probably thinks of it right now as a chore anyway. Maybe she should just give up the violin/strings for now. If she's interested, she'll come back to music later with little loss and a renewed appreciation.
n!
Neera: Yup - already doing all that. Problem is - I was a very sneaky child as well :P and never confessed to my parents (this is why I admire S' courage in confessing to us). So never got blasted by them until I was much older for things she might not understand right now.
ReplyDeleteSands: Yes - it hit me hard. We know she wants more attention - having being center of attention for 8.5 long years is a hard habit to break.Using timeouts for helping around the house - I know to hit where it hurts the most ;)
Mystic: Yes - she is very worried about losing our trust. Thanks for the hugs.
Mona: Fitness program is a last ditch effort at regaining health in order to stay around my daughters longer. Thanks for the hugs!
Amuser: Really am not too worried about the work scene. I know what you mean about giving them leeway to be naughty. Butwhattodo? I just can't let her be ill mannered. Have tried, and failed.
Unmana: Thanks for the wishes.
ReplyDeleteItchy: We think so too - she needs a little more one on one time with us.
~nm: I worry about the balance too. So far it has worked out by chance. I did talk to her about the "killing herself" bit, and will continue to do so.
Devaki: I usually clam up when things are really bad. This happened more than a week ago. When I wrote about it, I had mentally/emotionally sorted out most of it. Was reassuring to know about things from the other (daughter's) perspective too.
Eve's lungs: Thanks!
Vinita: Thanks for taking out the time to type this comment! I actually forwarded your comment to my husband and we decided to implement your suggestion. So, today the rest of her restrictions were terminated and she has been told that a more appropriate consequence for her would be to practice for extra half an hour each day for 10 days. In our defense, we do "catch" her being good and appreciate/reward her for that. She did get an appreciation from us for telling the truth regarding the skipping of classes, and does so for all other confessions as well. She hasn't been grounded/reprimanded for any other confessions. I am worried about depression too - specially given my history with it and that is why I am so worried. I am going to talk to her doctor about it.
Dotthoughts: The offer ot water my plants would have been greatly appreciated! To you, two weeks' grounding might seem a lot but believe me, it isn't she missed only 4 days of media as she gets access to it only on the weekends. And we went Strawberry picking over the weekend, so it turned out to be better than watching TV anyway :) And I think you misunderstood - we didn't punish her feelings of sibling jealousy. We told her we thought it was funny. It was the safety issue that we were trying to address.
ReplyDeleteDesigirl: I liked Vinita's suggestion too. Implemented already! Planning more time together with her too.
MadMomma: We reward honesty by appreciating and praising it openly. But that does not mean she can get away without facing the consequences - and that is the toughest thing to do. To get them to understand that we might get upset over some confession but they should still come to us and be honest. I think I mentioned it earlier in another post that I have promised her that I won't yell at any of her confessions and that is why she still comes to me. The sibling rivalry thing? I found it funny (and sad at the same time that she felt that way). But that is being sorted out now. I have always acknowledged her frustrations with the various aspects of having a baby in the house and I think that is the first step in making them feel secure about their own position in the family.
Lumi: You know the first person I thought of when I was going through it all was you? And I said to myself - Lumi would know what to do! I was right too - your words have been reassuring. And what severance are you talking about? My company doesn't do severences - they do sneaky lay-offs. I agree regarding letting her drop strings if she isn't enjoying it.
Anonymous: Good to know another perpective from the other side. Will keep it in mind. Just for the record, we didn't ground her to punish her for missing the strings lesson. She was grounded because she broke a very important safety rule. Agree about not forcing music/strings lessons on her. For that reson we let her take a break from her piano lessons for 6 months too.
Cee babe, you superwoman. You make me feel 2 cms tall. Me with my lazy butt and retinue of help. And still whining and whining and whining. God bless. And darling, S sounds adorable....maybe she is just wanting some TLC, with all those confessions.
ReplyDeleteI would be very very worried about this suicide thingie...you take care. Is she feeling insecure now that the baby is around to take up your limited time? You seem to be in such a tough situation and I can offer no solutions only my love and prayers.
OMG, you are one strong lady Cee. Can only offer hugs and best wishes. I know you'll do it!
ReplyDeleteI once told mom when I was six "I'm tired of living!". I'd read it somewhere, and used it in a context I thought appropriate. Of course Mom caught on, and the book was confiscated. It was "Charlotte's Web", surprisingly enough.
I know S must have been feeling really awful, but kids sometimes fail to judge the magnitude of their statements. Can't have been easy for you to hear that, but remember that probably she's yet to figure out how much she means what she says.
Love Vinita's idea of the strings practise, and yes maybe two weeks is too much. Maybe she'll get some of that reduced for good behavior?
You're doing great, take care :)
whoa superwoman...is there something you could go easier on/ neglect, e.g. garden, to make a little downtime? You need it too, you know.
ReplyDeleteRe: S - I think you're doing the right thing by keeping the communication lines open and honest and giving her a pat on the back for her honesty, while punishing her behaviour. Just make it clear to her that she's not bad, just some of her behaviour is...not what you would like for her to do. I remember going through a suicide-type phase in adolescence. Once I even sat on the windowsill in front of my mom, threatening to jump out. In many ways, I think it was just a plea for more time/ affection/ understanding...
S is going through quite a lot on her own, poor thing, quite apart from sibling rivalry and the natural urge to rebel. You could tell her instances of your own growing up and rebellious years, to let her know that it's ok to feel like that and act on it, but in a way that doesn't put her in danger, i.e. skipping class...
I think you and Jay are doing an awesome job with your kids.
Ok Ceekay. I understood what the punishment was for. I just wanted to comment that I didn't think extra practice on strings was a good 'punishment' instead of something not correlated (like grounding) because she might start associating practice with punishment (as it is, instrument practice often feels like that - and I'm in my mid-thirties!).
ReplyDeleteBut you seem like a sensible mother, so feel free to ignore this advice! And maybe you can take her to a concert later to show her the value of practicing?
n!
Real tough times! No kidding!
ReplyDeleteLooks like S is really screaming for attention. Though I do not think she really means 'suicide', she's definitely trying to tell you how bad she feels about the scheme of things... a major part of it could be your attention getting divided between the baby and her. Even though you are doing everything right and trying to balance your time, babies usually end up getting more attention (not intentionally )and S is still a kid . She's begging for attention.
I hope everything works out well.
I don't know what wisdom I can add to that which has already been shared here. All I know is that you are a superwoman who has about 100 differnt balls up in the air. As far as what S said abt the suicide thing, I would probe a little bit into to understand where that feeling came from. Is it something that they discuss in school with friends? Did she read something about it somewhere?
ReplyDeleteHugs to you and hope all things sort out soon.
Wow ur daughter is cute...
ReplyDeleteI read ur entire blog today.. Liked it a lot..and there are so many things that you have expressed and even I had felt the same for e.g. after ur child was born.
Keep Writing
Wow. Now I can say to you, if YOU were in front of me I would give you a big hug. I think the journal with S is a great idea and will hopefully help her get stuff off her chest sometimes it is so much easier to write things down than it is to say them out loud.
ReplyDeleteThe job thing, my boss did the same things yours did when she left. Deleting things, changing passwords, shredding documents. I don't understand that, it is so juvenile and unprofessional.
Good luck on the job front, and no doubt in my mind you will ace the next exam!!
Take care of yourself!
Kiran: S indeed needs some more TLC, and she is getting it now. The "kill myself" confession worried me no end - but now I think she is coming out of it. Hey, love and prayers is all I was looking for :)
ReplyDeleteSuki: Thanks for the hugs and best wishes, o' little one! Two weeks was NOT too much - given that it meant only missing 4 days of TV and other media. Anyhoo - Vinita's suggestion has already been implemented and the grounding has been scrapped.
BEV: Garden is, sadly, very neglected these days. Have scheduled some TLC (read weeding) for it tomorrow. Gardening IS my downtime.
I have always made a clear distinction between S and her undesirable behaviour. Never called her "bad" for something she did - just told her what she did was not too good or some such thing. I think you are bang on with the "plea for more time/affection/understanding" thing. We are working on it. I am, bit by bit, sharing my own childhood follies with her. Hopefully she'll see how that is completely "normal".
n! (Anonymous): I'll keep this in mind - never associate practice with punishment. For now, practising strings has been readily accepted as that means she can watch the idiot box :D She even set the timer yesterday and practised for full 30 minutes. After the 30 minutes were over I had to remind her she could stop!
Naina: Agree. She is seeking more attention.
Shobana: I did ask her where did the thought come from and she said she just feels so bad about all the "bad" things she has done. Since then, we have been taking every opportunity to tell her that whatever she has done is what kids normally do. Looks like we are on our way to sorting out this mess.
Vidya: Thanks! Keep coming back!
Grail: So now it has been established that an exchange of hugs is in order. :D Juvenile and unprofessional is exactly what I think it is (our ex-bosses' behaviour). Thanks for the good luck.
Goodness me! Tough is an understatement! Hats off to you!
ReplyDeleteBut your really need to cut yourself some slack. Your schedule is way to punishing! Maybe the job thing is a blessing in disguise - if you can afford it, that is.
On S, I thing wiser people than me have said stuff. I think what she said s scary and you are right to take it seriously. It's probably nothing more than a cry for attention, but still...
Wow! what a week it has been for you! I don't have a whole lot to add on to the many points of view already that have already been said...
ReplyDeleteI am on par with the long time-out exactly for the same reason that you pointed out! Also, two weeks in the big scheme of things is not much...if it stresses on how important a safety rule is! But, the problem for me is that I end up caving in earlier (1 weekend becomes a few hours, etc).
About wanting to kill herself, it IS scary! doesn't matter if she meant it or not, but just that she said it is scary enof. I think you are on the right track talking to her about it.
As for the job, enjoy staying home with the kids over summer! But I hope you get on track to finding a new job soon! I think I'd be all over my girls if I stayed home! I think they need a breather!
And finally, on the sibling rivalry - T1 is very nurturing, adores little kids, smothers them and enjoys every thing they do! but when it comes to her own sis, it's a completely different story! Overtime, I can see them getting a lot closer, but there definitely are moments. Anyways, I once asked her to honestly tell me if she really loved her little sis. She thought for a moment :) and said 'Yes'! I told her that I'm glad and that she has to show it well enof and since then she started to show a lot more affection...(I think for the most part she is being sincere)
Also, I keep telling her that they are both the apples of my eyes (one eye each) and I need them both equally. Little cheesy, but she loves it!
Love Vinitha's idea, but anonymous(aka n!) makes a point too!
Bottom line is that you know your daughter the best and you know what will work and what won't.
ok, so i had a little more to add on than i thot ;)
Again big hugs to you and I'm sure you will sort this one out well!
Ro, we can afford to - at least for a little while. Not in the long term, especially since I want my daughters to be able to study as much as they want without having to worry about student loans and tuitions. Yes, what S said scared me and forced me into rethinking many things. We ar emaking a progress though, it seems.
ReplyDeleteGND, I know what you mean. I have to sternly remind me that it is for her own good, otherwise I would end up scrapping the consequences for her completely! The grounding has been terminated and instead she is practising violin 30 minutes every day.
ReplyDelete