News excerpt:
Monday, August 23, 2010
You think YOUR commute this morning was bad?
There is a traffic jam in Beijing, China that has been going on for NINE (9) days now! Average time spent by an individual in the jam is THREE (3) days!! THAT should give you a whole new perspective on how tough your commute is!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Weight-y matters
Note: I have cross-posted this at Stage Of Life, where I have recently started contributing as a featured writer.
I think there are very few people who are satisfied with their weight. Some want to lose weight while a few others need to gain some. I have seen a lot of articles on the importance of not talking about your weight in front of your kids. The latest was this one. With all due respect to the First Lady, and other parents who think along similar lines, I beg to differ. I'll explain why.
My first instinct was to write how not talking to kids about weight is wrong. That we shouldn't just sweep all matters regarding weight under the carpet. Instead we should talk about weight, the healthy range of it and healthy habits to maintain it in the healthy range. Then I realized that I was looking at this issue from the other extreme end, similar to these parents. One extreme is not to talk to the kids about weight at all. The other is to overload them with talks about weight and its management. I then attempted to understand where both opinions originate from.
I have seen and heard about parents who constantly monitor what their kids are eating and how much. One acquaintance often reminds her son, who is just 6 or 7 years old and is at a healthy weight, not to eat too much. Keeps pointing to kids who don't eat too much and telling him to "learn something from them". This kind of behavior is a sure way to eating disorders, or at least to shoddy eating habits once the kid is old enough to move away from the parent's control zone.
On the other end, I know parents who don't try, at all, to cultivate healthy eating habits in their kids. Some might make token efforts to stop their kids from eating unlimited junk food but there is no real, sincere effort to educate the kids about the impact of being overweight on their health or the importance of eating a healthy, balanced diet.
It is okay not to talk to your kids about losing weight if you are at a healthy weight or just slightly over weight. When people can see that you are, at the most, only a few pounds overweight, or in the normal weight range for your height, any whining/ cribbing/ conversation about you wanting to lose weight can only come across as vanity. Forgive me if I sound harsh, but it IS the truth. When I was at a healthy weight, or even slightly overweight and wanted to lose a few pounds, I did not whine or crib about it. I kept at my exercise and sensible eating habits and flaunted any lost weight or inches with new, pretty clothes. But I did not sigh about the 5 pounds I needed to lose or the flabby arms that I needed to tone. I did not obsessively watch every calorie I ate and did not switch over to "I cannot believe it's not butter" from real butter. When my older daughter's pediatrician told us that she ran a higher risk of being an obese adolescent because her weight, at the age of two, was above the 97th percentile on the growth charts, I did not immediately cut off all fats and sugars from her diet. Instead, I started offering her a few healthier options in addition to the junk that all kids are fond of eating - a cookie followed by a tomato, a cucumber along with a small serving of potato chips. I also cut back on her TV time slowly. I did not want her to lose any weight. I just wanted her to develop healthier eating habits and a taste for the healthy foods which, I was sure, would go a long way in helping her stay in a healthy weight range and develop healthy habits for life. I was proven right. She still loves all the junk food in the world, and eats it. But she knows the importance of balancing a junk snack with healthy meals and other healthy snacks through the day. I have dinned into her that moderation is the key. And she understands the importance of physical activity in maintaining a balanced life-style.
Until three years ago, I never talked to her about my desire to lose weight. I focused and placed emphasis on healthy eating and exercise. Then I underwent four IUI's and two IVF's. The hormones I injected into myself during the IVF cycles made me gain 25 pounds in 2 months. Then pregnancy piled on another 25. This, when I was already slightly overweight. As a result, I am now firmly plonked in the "obese" category, despite having lost almost all the pregnancy weight. The IVF pounds, as I like to call them, love me very much. They don't want to leave me. They cling to me and make me a soft, cuddly, lovable (I wish!) person.
In late 2008 I was diagnosed with hypertension and have been on blood pressure medication since then. I had Gestational Diabetes during my pregnancy and am afraid that if I don't lose the weight, I will be saddled with Type 2 diabetes in just a matter of a few years. I carry a higher risk of stroke, heart disease, cancer and diabetes, among other things, because of my family history and weight. That is why I am trying to lose weight. I watch what I eat (maybe not enough). And I skip family dinners to go to the gym. When my daughter asks me why I don't eat dinner with the rest of the family any more, I tell her "because reaching a healthy weight is a higher priority for me and our family at this moment" and also tell her why this extra weight is not good for me. I list the risks I run by staying at this weight.
What I don't do is that I don't moan about my dress sizes or how I feel I look fat and ugly in anything I wear (yes, I have those days!) I don't starve myself to a thin body. And I definitely do not deprive myself of the foods I love to eat. (I am constantly struggling with portion sizes and getting better at it) Instead, I show her (by example) that I choose to eat a plate of salad before I go for that small piece of cake. And drag my ass to the gym even on days when I would rather lie down and die in the driveway.
I don't think sweeping our weight/health issues under the carpet does our kids any good. Even if we ARE at a healthy weight, how will not talking AT ALL about weight help our kids understand how to stay healthy? How will they know how to manage their weight and health and to avoid the pitfalls of unhealthy habits once they are on their own and not under our watch? Instead, I say, we should focus on talking about weight and health in a way that teaches them how to maintain their health by following an exercise program and a healthy diet. We should teach them the importance of staying healthy.
We all know that talking to our kids about sex, sexually transmitted diseases and contraception (in an age appropriate manner) will help them keep safe when they do become sexually active. Then why do we avoid talking to them about something that is much easier and less embarrassing to talk about and equally important? I do understand why some people believe we should not talk to our kids about weight at all. It is because if we stress on the wrong points, like dress sizes, then that is all they will associate it with. If we don't talk about the health aspect of maintaining a healthy weight, then all they will equate it with is losing weight to look great . And if we don't tell them that the best way to lose/maintain a healthy weight is by a balanced diet and exercise, they will fall in the traps of senseless diets or eating disorders. But not talking about it is NOT the solution. The solution is to talk to them about why it is important to stay healthy and, sometimes, that might include talking about making efforts to reach a healthier weight.
I think there are very few people who are satisfied with their weight. Some want to lose weight while a few others need to gain some. I have seen a lot of articles on the importance of not talking about your weight in front of your kids. The latest was this one. With all due respect to the First Lady, and other parents who think along similar lines, I beg to differ. I'll explain why.
My first instinct was to write how not talking to kids about weight is wrong. That we shouldn't just sweep all matters regarding weight under the carpet. Instead we should talk about weight, the healthy range of it and healthy habits to maintain it in the healthy range. Then I realized that I was looking at this issue from the other extreme end, similar to these parents. One extreme is not to talk to the kids about weight at all. The other is to overload them with talks about weight and its management. I then attempted to understand where both opinions originate from.
I have seen and heard about parents who constantly monitor what their kids are eating and how much. One acquaintance often reminds her son, who is just 6 or 7 years old and is at a healthy weight, not to eat too much. Keeps pointing to kids who don't eat too much and telling him to "learn something from them". This kind of behavior is a sure way to eating disorders, or at least to shoddy eating habits once the kid is old enough to move away from the parent's control zone.
On the other end, I know parents who don't try, at all, to cultivate healthy eating habits in their kids. Some might make token efforts to stop their kids from eating unlimited junk food but there is no real, sincere effort to educate the kids about the impact of being overweight on their health or the importance of eating a healthy, balanced diet.
It is okay not to talk to your kids about losing weight if you are at a healthy weight or just slightly over weight. When people can see that you are, at the most, only a few pounds overweight, or in the normal weight range for your height, any whining/ cribbing/ conversation about you wanting to lose weight can only come across as vanity. Forgive me if I sound harsh, but it IS the truth. When I was at a healthy weight, or even slightly overweight and wanted to lose a few pounds, I did not whine or crib about it. I kept at my exercise and sensible eating habits and flaunted any lost weight or inches with new, pretty clothes. But I did not sigh about the 5 pounds I needed to lose or the flabby arms that I needed to tone. I did not obsessively watch every calorie I ate and did not switch over to "I cannot believe it's not butter" from real butter. When my older daughter's pediatrician told us that she ran a higher risk of being an obese adolescent because her weight, at the age of two, was above the 97th percentile on the growth charts, I did not immediately cut off all fats and sugars from her diet. Instead, I started offering her a few healthier options in addition to the junk that all kids are fond of eating - a cookie followed by a tomato, a cucumber along with a small serving of potato chips. I also cut back on her TV time slowly. I did not want her to lose any weight. I just wanted her to develop healthier eating habits and a taste for the healthy foods which, I was sure, would go a long way in helping her stay in a healthy weight range and develop healthy habits for life. I was proven right. She still loves all the junk food in the world, and eats it. But she knows the importance of balancing a junk snack with healthy meals and other healthy snacks through the day. I have dinned into her that moderation is the key. And she understands the importance of physical activity in maintaining a balanced life-style.
Until three years ago, I never talked to her about my desire to lose weight. I focused and placed emphasis on healthy eating and exercise. Then I underwent four IUI's and two IVF's. The hormones I injected into myself during the IVF cycles made me gain 25 pounds in 2 months. Then pregnancy piled on another 25. This, when I was already slightly overweight. As a result, I am now firmly plonked in the "obese" category, despite having lost almost all the pregnancy weight. The IVF pounds, as I like to call them, love me very much. They don't want to leave me. They cling to me and make me a soft, cuddly, lovable (I wish!) person.
In late 2008 I was diagnosed with hypertension and have been on blood pressure medication since then. I had Gestational Diabetes during my pregnancy and am afraid that if I don't lose the weight, I will be saddled with Type 2 diabetes in just a matter of a few years. I carry a higher risk of stroke, heart disease, cancer and diabetes, among other things, because of my family history and weight. That is why I am trying to lose weight. I watch what I eat (maybe not enough). And I skip family dinners to go to the gym. When my daughter asks me why I don't eat dinner with the rest of the family any more, I tell her "because reaching a healthy weight is a higher priority for me and our family at this moment" and also tell her why this extra weight is not good for me. I list the risks I run by staying at this weight.
What I don't do is that I don't moan about my dress sizes or how I feel I look fat and ugly in anything I wear (yes, I have those days!) I don't starve myself to a thin body. And I definitely do not deprive myself of the foods I love to eat. (I am constantly struggling with portion sizes and getting better at it) Instead, I show her (by example) that I choose to eat a plate of salad before I go for that small piece of cake. And drag my ass to the gym even on days when I would rather lie down and die in the driveway.
I don't think sweeping our weight/health issues under the carpet does our kids any good. Even if we ARE at a healthy weight, how will not talking AT ALL about weight help our kids understand how to stay healthy? How will they know how to manage their weight and health and to avoid the pitfalls of unhealthy habits once they are on their own and not under our watch? Instead, I say, we should focus on talking about weight and health in a way that teaches them how to maintain their health by following an exercise program and a healthy diet. We should teach them the importance of staying healthy.
We all know that talking to our kids about sex, sexually transmitted diseases and contraception (in an age appropriate manner) will help them keep safe when they do become sexually active. Then why do we avoid talking to them about something that is much easier and less embarrassing to talk about and equally important? I do understand why some people believe we should not talk to our kids about weight at all. It is because if we stress on the wrong points, like dress sizes, then that is all they will associate it with. If we don't talk about the health aspect of maintaining a healthy weight, then all they will equate it with is losing weight to look great . And if we don't tell them that the best way to lose/maintain a healthy weight is by a balanced diet and exercise, they will fall in the traps of senseless diets or eating disorders. But not talking about it is NOT the solution. The solution is to talk to them about why it is important to stay healthy and, sometimes, that might include talking about making efforts to reach a healthier weight.
Monday, August 09, 2010
It is nice when things work!
Last Friday, as I was coming home from work, I came up behind a city bus that runs the route that our home is on. It is a 30 mph zone and later turns into a 25 mph zone just about a mile from my home. This bus was doing somewhere between 38-41 mph. I followed it at a constant distance to see exactly how fast it was going. I was tempted to call up 911 and report the bus driver for reckless driving. Ours is a residential street, which means there are kids, dog walkers, walkers and runners going up and down the street. We have had our mailbox knocked right off the ground WITH its post and flung 20 meters by a speeding truck/bus (we don't know WHAT struck the mailbox, we just came home one day to find it lying 20 meters from where it was standing). However, I noted the bus number and then looked up the route information on the Transit company's website. From there I also got the Transit District's Administrator's email ID. I sent her (him?) the following email:
Hello L,
I have a concern regarding a Wheels bus, bus# xxx that was traveling on Route x between Walmart (at Route x) and Route y on Friday, August 6 2010 between 6.40 and 6.45 pm.
This bus was traveling on W Road and I was right behind it starting from Walmart till A street. I felt it was going too fast so I followed it at a constant distance to get an estimate of the speed at which it was traveling. My car's speedometer registered 38 to 41 miles. This is a 25 mph zone. This really worries me as this is a residential street and also has two schools and a daycare on it. Buses traveling at such high speeds on this street pose a hazard to the residents, and specially the kids. I have seen other Wheels buses speed by on this road on other occasions as well.
Kindly consider this my formal complaint and take an action regarding this incident and inform me about what steps were taken to remedy this problem. You can call me at (xxx) xxx-xxxx if you have any further questions.
Thanks.
A concerned resident,
Cee Kay
Phone: (xxx) xxx-xxxx
This morning, just as I reached my office, I received a call from the Transit District Administrator's assistant. He told me that my complaint has been recorded and that he will talk with the bus driver. This is good!! I wasn't looking for a disciplinary action against the driver anyway. If I wanted that, I could have called 911. But if just a conversation or a warning will make the driver(s) drive more carefully, then that is all I want. I am impressed and happy that my complaint was taken seriously! One more reason for me to like the town that I live in.
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Decisions, decisions!
Every disciplinary action of ours depends on the question "whose therapy will cost us more? J's and mine or the kids'?"
As of now, kids' therapy seems affordable. Plus, if we manage to give them a good education, they can find a good job and pay for it themselves. Man!! I am SO smashingly brilliant sometimes!! :D
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Oh, the irony, the irony!!
Ro tagged me to write about the little ironies of motherhood. I'll comply. Only, I'd like to register a teeny-tiny objection about the term "ironies" at the very beginning of this post. Ironies? I don't think so. I think these are conspiracies against mothers. The seemingly innocent babies are conspiring against the poor mommies so that they don't get a single shut-eye, can't read a single sentence of ANY book and can't even go to the loo in peace. Don't agree with me? Read on!
1. The kids are busy watching the idiot box, or you are getting ready to go somewhere and the kids are ALL READY, waiting for you outside the house. You slip into the bathroom for that one quick "business" trip and the moment you sit down on the throne the door-banging sessions begin!
2. You tell you friends proudly about how junior has started going poo-poo in the pot and the next day you have a major clean-up operation on your hands. Or you tell you friend she is a good eater and she starts picking out the peas, the tomatoes, the meat the bread... Same goes for the boasts of "Oh she sleeps through" the night" or "She stays up ALL night". The little darlings make sure you are proven a liar in everyone's eyes. Again, and again, and AGAIN!
3. You spend the first 18 years swearing you will kick them out the door as soon as they hit 18 and then the rest of them hoping they'd come back, even if for a week.
4. You are not a homebody. You CANNOT be a stay-at-home mom - it'll kill you! The first day back to work, away from the baby, kills you.
5. You can't wait till you can finish your sentences before being interrupted by yet another "mommy...". When the time comes, your ears strain to hear if they have been calling your name, leaving sentences hanging half-finished in the air.
6. You yell at them, telling them to stop screaming.
7. You mourn the demise of romantic dinners out and then spend an entire dinner date talking about what junior must be doing right now, with the baby sitter.
8. You, who couldn't function without an 8-hour sleep, now buzz around on 4.5 hours' worth. And keep your composure. And are still sweet. You even smile occasionally!
9. You never imagined life with kids. Kept your focus on the straight and narrow path of "life ambitions" and "goals". Now you can't imagine life without them. You don't remember what you filled your days with, before they came along.
10. The more you love them, the more love you have for them.
Ain't life strange??
1. The kids are busy watching the idiot box, or you are getting ready to go somewhere and the kids are ALL READY, waiting for you outside the house. You slip into the bathroom for that one quick "business" trip and the moment you sit down on the throne the door-banging sessions begin!
2. You tell you friends proudly about how junior has started going poo-poo in the pot and the next day you have a major clean-up operation on your hands. Or you tell you friend she is a good eater and she starts picking out the peas, the tomatoes, the meat the bread... Same goes for the boasts of "Oh she sleeps through" the night" or "She stays up ALL night". The little darlings make sure you are proven a liar in everyone's eyes. Again, and again, and AGAIN!
3. You spend the first 18 years swearing you will kick them out the door as soon as they hit 18 and then the rest of them hoping they'd come back, even if for a week.
4. You are not a homebody. You CANNOT be a stay-at-home mom - it'll kill you! The first day back to work, away from the baby, kills you.
5. You can't wait till you can finish your sentences before being interrupted by yet another "mommy...". When the time comes, your ears strain to hear if they have been calling your name, leaving sentences hanging half-finished in the air.
6. You yell at them, telling them to stop screaming.
7. You mourn the demise of romantic dinners out and then spend an entire dinner date talking about what junior must be doing right now, with the baby sitter.
8. You, who couldn't function without an 8-hour sleep, now buzz around on 4.5 hours' worth. And keep your composure. And are still sweet. You even smile occasionally!
9. You never imagined life with kids. Kept your focus on the straight and narrow path of "life ambitions" and "goals". Now you can't imagine life without them. You don't remember what you filled your days with, before they came along.
10. The more you love them, the more love you have for them.
Ain't life strange??
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Conversation startes
I recently got a friendship request on FB from a guy I studied with in high school. He also sent me a message. This:
"B K PAugust 2, 2010 at 6:57pm Subject: hi hi, b here. tum to moti ho gayi ho yaar.* bye, regards." (I have changed his name for privacy purposes) *Translation: You have grown fat, my friend! |
So, no "How are you?" or "Where are you these days?". Instead a comment about a fact that I am only too aware of. I mean, can you imagine anyone not being aware of their weight, be it under or over the normal range? How, or why is it acceptable to start a conversation with this gem - specially when you are getting back in touch with that person after 22 frigging years?Did you not grow up AT ALL during those 22 years to realize that this is NOT a polite thing to say? Well, he is not alone. I have had a fair share of such rude, nosy people.
Take the uncleji who came to express his condolences to us, 2 days after my dad passed away. I opened the door and the first comment out of his mouth was "Arrey, tum to bahut moti ho gayee ho?!" [Oh! You have grown so fat?!] Forget "I am so sorry for your loss" or "I hope he didn't suffer too long" or any such comment, however half hearted. Nope. His main concern was my weight. And his sister, who came with him, was concerned that I left my 1.5 year old daughter at home with my husband. Poor little girl - I should have brought her with me. And poor J! He had to take care of a toddler AND work full time -something I also do when J goes on business trips or trainings. But it is difficult for the men, you know! And you should NOT leave your kids behind. Usko to saath me laana tha (you should have brought at least her along). I bit my tongue to stop myself from asking her "And how is it YOUR business??"
An auntyji, who lives right across the street from my mom, uttered this when she first met me after I had M, my second daughter:
"Congratulations dear, on birth of your daughter! Don't worry, these days daughters are considered as good as sons". 2.5 years later, I still haven't recovered from the WTF-ness of that comment. I swear I was SMILING my broadest smile when I met her so there could have been NO mistake regarding how I felt about having two daughters.
This is the same auntyji whose son came over to our house, long back - more than 20 years ago - to give some advise to my PARENTS. My parents were as old as HIS parents (just for perspective before I narrate his "advise"). He advised my parents not to send me to a co-ed college (I was planning to sign up for the Electronics-Math-Physics stream at the local science college which had opened its doors to girls only a few years ago) My dad, I believe, was not around. Only mom met him. She asked him his reasons (yeah, she is a MUCH nicer person than I am!) and he said "Ladkiyan bigad jati hain" [Girls get "spoiled" - yeah, girls are like milk or eggs or tomatoes in case you didn't know] My mom explained to him that girls get "spoiled" even when (and if) they are kept behind seven locked doors - if they so want. She said "We don't think keeping her behind locked doors - or sending her to an all-girls' college would help if she did want to fall into wrong company". She then thanked him for his concern and sent him away. Then she and Pa proceeded to help me fill out forms and go to the co-ed college. Later they helped me go to another co-ed college in another state. The concerned neighbor had probably given up hope on them ever seeing the light so he didn't try to talk them out of that! I don't know what he thought about me choosing my life partner while doing my Master's in Indore. I know for sure that he didn't try to talk my parents out of "allowing" me to marry the man of my choice. Oh, but others did! Just so you know :)
So, now back to what I was venting about. Rude people. Stupid people. People who have a serious I-don't-know-when-or-how-to-shut-up disorder. One of them told me, on more than one occasion, that I should try and lose weight. His friend's wife had! "Dunno what she did, but she stopped eating for a while and lost a lot of weight. Now she really looks very nice" - he said. Then one day he told me I really needed to learn how to keep my house clean. Why? Because the sink was full after we had all had a meal with two veggies and a daal plus a sweet dish. (I didn't have a dishwasher) And I think the counter was also cluttered with all the spices etc. It shouldn't come as a surprise that he is not one of the friends I regularly exchange pleasantries with through email and phone calls.
I even remember an old hag commenting "She is SO FAT and she is still having lactation problems?" after I had my first daughter. As these comments come back to me, I am amazed at how, ALL my life, I have been plagued with idiots. People commenting on my weight, people commenting on my inability to nurse my daughters, people commenting on my inability to conceive the second time around, people commenting on my complexion. An old female relative's reply to my "namaste" when we met after more than 3 years? "She is fairer now!!" Wow! Thank you!! My life's ambition has been fulfilled!
One uncleji said to me, when I showed him photos from my engagement "Ek baat to hai - ladka apni ladki se jyada achchha dikhta hai" [One thing is for sure - the boy looks way better than our girl (yours truly)] My reply was "Just goes to show who is smarter". He was left saying "he he he" for some time. But WHY should I have to defend myself? Or put someone else down to deflect the insult??
Because of these idiots, I suffered from a complex all my life. At 52 kgs I thought I was fat! Now, I regret at having lost all those years to those complexes when I could have enjoyed myself better. Thankfully I don't suffer from those now. I even tell people to take a hike every now and then. Suggest a scenic route that ends right above a beautiful lake full of sharks. And tell them to take a flying leap into that lake.
My reply to that "friend" on FB?
Cee Kay August 2 at 11:33am
Note: I am almost scared in asking this, because I know this might bring forth a barrage of unpleasant memories - but do share your experiences in the comments section. Let's cuss these idiots out and vent some anger and frustration in a safe, friendly environment :D
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Worthy matters
Are housewives really "economically non-productive workers", just like beggars and prostitutes? At least that is what the govt. of India believes and that is, indeed, a belief supported and propagated by many, including many housewives. If you are not bringing in the money, you are non-productive. Doesn't matter even if you are doing everything else to keep your home running smoothly. That doesn't count! The sweat and blood you put into bringing your kids up doesn't count! The three thousand and nineteen things you juggle every single day don't count! Basically nothing counts even if you do everything except bring in the dough. Sadly, such is our society and such are our views.
I have struggled with this issue plenty - what is my worth? How important a part am I, of my family? I have been on both the sides and I still don't know for sure. J can do, and does everything for the kids and the house that I do, except cook. When I didn't have a job, I thought long and hard about how it would affect him if I were to die this instant. And I couldn't reach a conclusion. Now that I am back in the workforce, I still doubt my worth because I bring in less money than J does. To his credit, he has NEVER made me feel inferior on this account. (Oh heck, on ANY account!) It is all in MY mind.
The best reassurance I ever got on this issue came from our financial advisor when he was helping us plan how much life-insurance we needed to buy for each of us. I assumed Jay's would be more because he earns more than I do, and I was right. I also assumed I didn't need any, or needed very little because I was bringing in peanuts (a 250 gm packet every month, to be very specific). He explained to me that my worth was hidden in everything else I did that J would need to pay to get done, if I were to say buh-bye to this world. I am telling you THAT was the biggest reassurance I have ever gotten.
So I ask the government of India - if a housewife were to pass away, leaving behind her husband and kids, and assuming that the husband wouldn't have ANY help from family or friends - what would he need to pay other people to do what his wife does? I think the answer would leave many people thinking hard!
I am not one to sing praises of the studies that deduce what the monetary worth of a housewife is because I feel it only superficially glorifies what a woman does. If it were to bring a concrete change to a society's mentality, I'd be all for it. But there IS something to be said for such studies because they do point out the one fact that we choose to ignore - A HOUSEWIFE IS AN EQUAL AND CONTRIBUTING PARTNER IN THE HOUSEHOLD!!
Note: Previously published on Desicritics. org
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Desperate times call for desperate measures
I have been feeling this urge to write a post - ANY post - but didn't have the energy to complete a couple of posts that I started because they need a deeper thought, which the current state of sleep deprivation is incapable of facilitating. So I picked up this tag from Meira's blog.
1. ) When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I know what I didn't want to be - a mom! I mean, I always assumed I would be, one day. But never "actively" looked forward to it! Until 12th grade, I wanted to become a neuro-surgeon. Something changed overnight towards the end of 12th grade and I decided to go into technology.
2.) What’s your favorite poem? (And if you don’t have one, why?)
AND
3.) Define “freedom.”
Freedom to be myself.
4.) What’s the first thing that pops into your head when you think of your father?
I miss him.
5.) Do you owe an apology to anyone? Why?
Loads and loads of people from my past. Why? Because I was an insufferable bi*** in those days. Even my mom - for putting her through various heartaches by my thoughtless words.
6.) You’ve just been given a million dollars. You are not allowed to keep it or give it to anyone you know personally. What do you do with it and why?
Give some to American Heart Association because I lost my dad to a heart attack. Maybe my money will help in some research that will save someone else's dad.
Give some to the Red Cross. Pa had the heart attack waiting for blood that matched his blood group. They did find it but maybe he could have been saved if they had found the blood earlier and he could have had his surgery sooner. I know this won't bring him back but maybe someone else will get the blood they need, in time.
Give a whole lot to Kiran's "Pavement Schools" (scroll to the end of the page). I know this violates the rule about not giving it to someone you know personally, but to heck with it! It is MY money - I will do as I please with it. I believe she is doing a world of good with this one thing. With others too, but this one I admire and respect immensely.
7.) Japanese lore suggests that if you fold 1,000 paper cranes, your wish will come true. What would your wish be, and what would you be willing to do 1,000 times to get it?
Nothing. I have everything I need. I know how to live without my wants if I can't have them or afford them. Four years ago I would have said "for another baby".
8.) If you could go back in time and meet your 16-year-old self, what three things would you tell yourself?
- Don't be too tough on yourself. It wasn't your fault.
- Be kinder with your words and actions.
- People who are criticizing you right now are like pesky ants. Ignore them. Focus on your studies. Your knowledge will carry you through life - or at least make your passage easier.
9.) Tell us about your first kiss.
Gave me a bruised lip that I had to explain away as "bumped my face into the corner of a file folder HARD" :D
10.) What are the five best bands you’ve seen play live?
Ummmm.....
11.) What’s your superpower?
I know how to communicate with my preteen daughter :)
12.) What’s your greatest fear?
Of ending up an old, lonely, bitter woman.
13.) If you could take a train journey through any part of the world, where would you go?
Home.
14.) What’s the one food you feel like you couldn't live without? What’s the one food you’d rather die than put in your mouth?
There is no food I couldn't live without. Am already living without many foods I could easily find in India but can't find here.
I don't think I can EVER eat shrimps, lobsters, crabs or the food that they serve on "Fear Factor"!
15.) What was the worst job you ever had?
None. I have enjoyed all the jobs I have held so far. Even if they were stressful.
16.) Do you think it’s ever permissible to cheat?
No. There is no excuse for cheating. You are unhappy with your current partner? Separate and then marry/start dating someone else.
17.) Do something nice for someone today. Then tell us about what you did.
Called a user back to give him a reply to a question he had asked but I had forgotten to answer during our conversation. Help-desk doesn't do that, you know! :P
18.) Perhaps you’ve played this game. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse lets you have one free pass — one special man or woman who is so attractive and out of reach that if circumstances allowed it, your partner would allow you to sleep with that person. Most monogamous couples feel safe with the free pass rule as it’s more theoretical than practical. Sill, if your partner gave you a free pass, would you use it? On who? (Single people can use this prompt however they please.)
No. Would never use that pass. It is equivalent to cheating in my books.
19.) How do you feel about the name given to you at birth?
LOVE it!!
20.) Tell us everything you know about the day you were born.
NOTHING happened on that particular day (in 1970). Bah!! Oh, but I do know what happened on this day this year - I turned FOR-TEE!! I am SO gonna rock this decade, yeah!!
21.) In what ways have you become ‘green’ in the past few years? Do you think that it has made a difference?
I try to minimize the water wastage when I work in the kitchen, I turn off lights in empty rooms. I think it does make a difference, even if in a very small way. I don't leave my car running when I go to drop my kids off - you won't believe how many people do that! I am helping the bumble bee and butterfly population by maintaining a vegetable garden :D I TRY to use organic fertilizers and pesticides. I also conserve energy (mine) by trying not to yell at the kids or the husband for every small thing :D THAT definitely has made a HUGE difference.
I try to minimize the water wastage when I work in the kitchen, I turn off lights in empty rooms. I think it does make a difference, even if in a very small way. I don't leave my car running when I go to drop my kids off - you won't believe how many people do that! I am helping the bumble bee and butterfly population by maintaining a vegetable garden :D I TRY to use organic fertilizers and pesticides. I also conserve energy (mine) by trying not to yell at the kids or the husband for every small thing :D THAT definitely has made a HUGE difference.
22.) What’s the first thing you notice about a man when you meet him? A woman?
Man - His behavior towards his wife if he is married, girlfriend if he isn't and has one. Towards other people around him, including those who are serving him. His parenting style if he has kids.
Woman - about the same. Her behavior towards her husband if she is married, boyfriend if she isn't and has one. Towards other people around her including the ones who are serving her. Her parenting style if she has kids.
There!! Now tell me YOUR answers. Leave me a link here and I will come visit to read your post.
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