Nothing new here, guys...

Funny how mundane can comfort you. Specially, when you have been on your toes for the past many months. Just running from one obligation to another. Meeting deadlines, creating new ones, missing a few but trying to be on time for every meeting, class, school activity, field trip, volunteering work and all last-minute parties that pop up. After all this, the prospect of spending the whole weekend laundering, cleaning, cooking and vacuuming is VERY inviting. That is what I meant by having a “relaxing” weekend and that is what I had. Didn’t even bother to study for the much-dreaded finals looming up ahead. Haven’t submitted a lot of labs at all lately – but didn’t even bother to work on them. This is how good my weekend was :D

OK. Its Monday now and I still haven’t posted this. Weekend, as I wrote earlier, was gooooooooooooood. We went out for dinner. Its an Italian place – Bertucci’s. I wish we had an Olive Garden around here. Heard they were coming to our town because of the increasing demand. Spent the whole Sunday afternoon doing laundry. Boy, did THAT feel good! (To have clean clothes at last :D) Will spend the whole week ironing them now. I know I sound crazy going ga-ga over such boring tasks. But believe me, I have been so busy lately, I look forward to the ironing as that would also give me a chance to
1) Think,
2) Stay in front of the idiot box without feeling guilty, and
3) NOT study (Not that I do anyway, but still….)

Tuesday: So, it will be some time before I can publish this blog since my DSL connection is on the blink. UUUURRRRRRGH!! Just got off the phone after telling my woes to yet another tech support. Told her if this problem is not solved this time, I am going to cable. Lets see if I can actually carry out the threat. Whatever the problems with DSL, I think they don’t try to con me into paying more like cable guys. The cable company is regularly coming up with new ways everyday to line their pockets.

Wednesday: I tried to troubleshoot the connection yesterday and WAS able to get connected but today its down again. Thought I should study a little before blogging and after about 20 minutes of studying the connection went down. I know whenever we get on the phone the DSL somehow gets disconnected. But why? No idea. Have had atleast 4 technician visits and they couldn’t figure it out either. Have another one of these visits scheduled for tomorrow. Meanwhile, life is peaceful here…..

From top of the world to down in the dumps

Been thinking of blogging again for the past few days. Just couldn't make it between work, school and family. And ofcourse, TV!! This week started out as crappily as it ever could. And it wasn't that anything had gone wrong. It was all "in my mind". I just didn't want to return to work, or to studies for that matter. Finals are fast approaching so I should have studied over the weekend, but I didn't. Which, I guess, was why I felt the week wasn't going as I wanted it to. But things started improving slowly. First I had a practice exam for CCNA exam 1 on Tuesday and I HADN'T studied a word for it. And I scored 82% on it!! Better still, my score was better than that of others who had (supposedly) been studying. About 15% higher than theirs at that! But being the "grown-up" that I unfortunately am, I couldn't brag about it, could I? And since I have already cleared the actual exam (last year) I thought it was no big deal. Then I started feeling blue again because I hadn't studied for the next practice exam (CCNA 2) either and it was due on Thursday. I'd say one thing though - I could have not taken the exam but I am no quitter! I took it and guess what? I scored 84% this time, again 15% higher than the rest of the class :D I can't stop grinning now. Feel like bragging too - but will hold off on that for now.

11:30 am: Had to take a break to drop my daughter off at school. So, I was on the top of the world today. Nothing could spoil my mood. Or so I thought. My daughter had a dermatologist's appointment this morning just get a small rash checked and get a "she can attend school" note. Did that. Went to school. Presented the note to the nurse who got upset saying how could the doctor have allowed her to return to school when she hadn't even been on any medication for 24 hours as the school policy requires. So I reminded her that the school policy also states that a note from the doctor allows her to return to school (which we had) and that my daughter had already been on medication for over a week (its a suspected ring-worm rash and yes, I do believe that parents should not put other children at risk by sending their sick kids to school but this wasn't such a scenario because she is already being treated for it). I also mentioned that she was seeing a homeopath (I and DH have great FAITH in homoeopathy) for the rash and was ALSO undergoing allopathic treatment for it. I got lectured at for 15 straight minutes about how we shouldn't jeopardize our kids' lives by failing to take these problems seriously. Hello? I said she IS getting treatment! But no - what she meant was we were playing with her life by consulting a homeopath. So here I am now - FUMING. I don't use "cuss-words". I take pride in the fact. But if there ever was a moment when I wanted to use them, and a LOT of them, it is now! Problem is I don't know any. I mean I do, but what I need right now is that heavy-duty stuff that would make you want to wash your mouth with soap later. Anyway, just writing about this had made me feel better. Thank goodness for blogs!!

5:30 pm: Here I am again. Had to stop blogging to do some work:P Now I am feeling much better - having vented in this blog AND with my friend over the phone. She is a lifesaver! I think I would be a VERY depressed, tortured, tormented, restless soul if it were not for this friend's sympathetic ear to every one of my "vents". God bless her! I think everyone should have atleast one such friend (its better if you have a few more as a backup plan). People would be a little less stressed out (keeping your feelings bottled IN is stressful, I believe) and a little more relaxed. Ciao everyone! I am off to have a relaxing weekend.

Pa-tience-hood

Thats what I call my role as a parent. I openly agree that being a parent has made me more patient (much to the relief of people who work with me). I now understand that people have their limitations and that everyone cannot be as quick or perfect as I'd like them to be. Not that I am quick or perfect. But can that stop anyone from expecting others to be so? Here is a "before-and-after" scenario -

THEN
I ask my DH (darling husband) to get a bottle of sundried tomatoes out of the refrigerator.
I: Can you please get me the bottle of sundried tomatoes from the fridge?
DH (opens the fridge): I can't see it.
I: It's there, right in front of you!
DH: Nope. can't see it.
I:WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T SEE IT?? YOU HAVE EYES DON'T YOU? IT'S RIGHT THERE ON THE BOTTOM SHELF. $#@$#@#!#@#!!!

After this, obviously, DH would leave the kitchen furiously muttering under his breath and I would stay in the kitchen fuming...

NOW
I: Can you please get me the bottle of sundried tomatoes from the fridge?
DH (opens the fridge): I can't see it.
I: It's there, right in front of you!
DH: Nope. can't see it.
I: Look at the bottom shelf. (Now assume DH is following my directions)
Now, look in the back, left corner. Do you see the milk carton? (Yes he does!)
Its right behind that. NO, NO!! Take the milk carton out of there first. Right! Now take the bottle out. Thanks!! Don't forget to put the milk back in.

After this, DH usually helps around the kitchen a little more and I happily cook away :)

This is not the only way in which I have changed after becoming a parent. There was a time I was terrified of all bugs, despised them with all my might and seeing even a dead one anywhere in a 10 ft radius would send me in a screaming frenzy (OK I exaggerated a little bit, but you get the picture) Last week, my daughter came home with a weekend assignment - find a bug/worm and bring it to school. Not once did the thought of asking my husband to help her entered my mind. So here we were - my daughter and I - all ready with gloves and sticks and a box, hunting for bugs. It was actually a family affair. We did find one big, fat worm. And I am very proud to say that I was the one to pick it up and put it in the box :D So now my daughter has a new hobby - everywhere she goes, she is looking for worms. One day, when I picked her up from the bus stop after school, she happily declared - "I found two bugs today. And I named them Brucee and Trucee. I lost Brucee (pout) but Trucee is still in my pocket". "WHAT? In your POCKET???" "Yeah mom. Don't worry, I put some dirt in there too, to keep him happy". Unfortunately Trucee slipped out of her hand too while we were driving back to home. So now we have one lost, probably terrified worm somewhere in our car looking for his way back to the warm, cozy, "dirtful" pocket of the only person that ever loved it with her whole heart. And one VERY proud mom - proud because her daughter is so sensitive she would even fill her pocket with dirt to keep one teeny-tiny worm happy.

When the going gets tough.....

Today, while watching a program on TV I somehow began thinking about how adverse situations, tragedies, difficulties reshape our entire being. Some people break apart, some come out stronger. No one goes unscathed! And then, I began thinking about my daughter. She is 6 years old - will be six and a half in April end. She started losing her hair last year, sometime in January or February. She had very thick hair and it took us a long time (about 4-5 months) to realize what was going on. She had a condition called "Alopecia Areata". Its an auto-immune condition, where a person's own immune system starts attacking their hair follicle. Later last year, around October, she lost almost all her hair. Earlier this year, she started losing hair from other parts of her body like legs and arms. We were devastated. The only thing that helped us keep our wits together and maintain composure was the thought that if we lose control how will it affect her? Now she is still fighting it, but has gotten most of her hair back. The thing that amazes me the most is my daughter's resilience. Throughout this ordeal, she hasn't once cried about it, refused covering up her head when I offered her to buy some pretty hats sayig "It really doesn't bother me" and has really shown a courage that has kept US going. About two weeks back, she and I were talking about how God sends difficulties only to those who can handle them. It was then, almost 7 months after we first knew what was going on, she said to me "But mommy, why did God have to send this problem to me? " It broke my heart but I managed to say "Because He knew you were strong enough to get through it". In my mind I was screaming "Yes, WHY HER?????". But my daughter accepted that explanation calmly. Sometimes I wonder if she is more mature than I am. Sometimes I KNOW that she is :P

All my life, I have clinged to one mantra that has taken me through many a rough times - "When the going gets tough, the tough get going". I guess my daughter learnt that all on her own. Sometimes, being a die-hard optimist, I feel it has been a valuable lesson (rather a collection of lessons) for all of us. The first one that my daughter learnt was - Looks aren't everything. She is still beautiful to us, all her friends still love her and she is still healthy. Second, we have truly learnt to look at the glass as half full. Instead of complaining about the problems she has, we focus on the fact that since her immune system is in an overdrive, she hasn't came down with any of the typical infections that kids bring home from school in over 8 months! There are other lessons which routinely surface but none come to my mind immediately.

I once asked God - "Why her? She is so young!!". Now I thank Him for also giving her the strength to deal with it. (I still ask "Why her..."). I hope one day we will be able to look back upon all this and wonder "How the heck did we get through such difficult times?" . I am sure of one thing. We WILL. Get through, I mean.

Getting Started

Well, here I am! Needed someplace to express all my opinions (and I have tons of them :P). Comments are welcome. Signing off now. Will blog later.....