Finally it happened! Something that I had been praying for and wondering if it would ever happen. This morning, when I went to say "bye" to Baby M (she was in her nani's arms), she stretched out her arms to come to me!! I thought she'd never do that. On occasions I have even felt a little bit of envy for my mom because anytime M sees her, she gets all excited and tries to go to her. I understand why she does that - my mom is her main caregiver these days. And I truly don't mind that at all (that M does this). To me, it means my mom is taking really good care of her. But when M showed no interest in coming to me a few days ago, it touched a raw nerve somewhere! All the things that my MIL once said to me about how S (who was a baby then) would have gotten excited and eager to come into my arms "if only I were nursing her" came to my mind. That is a mean thing to say to a new mom. And you can only imagine how mean when the said mom hears it over and over in her mind when she has another baby EIGHT f**king years later. Yes, I am still having lactation problems. BIG TIME. But I am trying my damndest to get every last drop of milk that I can squeeze out of me into the baby. Anyway, rant aside, that small moment really made my day! My baby recognizes me!! Its another matter that she still doesn't smile at me much :( She does smile readily at my dad when he (tries to) whistle in front of her. The first time he tried to do that, only a whoosh of air came out! Yes, my dad is one of those people who can't whistle :D So, yesterday when he tried again and was successful, we joked that M was smiling because he finally succeeded. LOL!
Yay !!! But as you know, it has nothing to do with not being able to nurse a baby. i had lactation problems with my first one and there was nothing I could do about it, he was formula fed right from the start as I wasnt lactating enough. I still feel sad when I think about it knowing well how important mother's milk is for a baby without others rubbing it in.
ReplyDeleteEven when we bottle feed them we do hold them close, pat them, caress them, so how can it be bcos of not being able to nurse. That was very mean of the MIL to have said that - cant imagine how one woman can be so cruel to another woman.
Awww....that was such a sweet thing!!
ReplyDeleteI can feel your pain! I got such comments from my MIL when my son was about 7 months and I was working full time and not expressing so leaving me with only 2-3 breastfeed in a day..rather at just night only. So but obviously I was not lactating as much as a mother who would be breastfeeding exclusively would and she(MIL) would keep asking me "Why are you not lactating properly" Once she went with us to my Gynae and asked her (my doc) that she(Me) is not lactating properly and when my doc said that she won't because she's breastfeeding only 2-3 times a day. Next day we are at home and she goes again..why are you not lactating properly. I was so angry but since she was my MIL I didn't say anything but it used to make me feel as if there's something really wrong with me. Sigh...why do people, especially close ones say things that hurt!
And
It's shocking how rude and insensitive people can be.... and good for Baby M, who's all set to prove them wrong
ReplyDeleteThats sweet. Wish you many more precious moments with Baby M.
ReplyDeleteWhy are inlaws so mean? My inlaws are no different. I really envy people who say their inlaws are cool. My 17 month old prefers inlaws company than me (and I am a SAHM). There was a time when he wouldn't want to come to me for anything - meals, diapers, bath nothing. That hit me. Then I had started spending more time with him. I think he just gets more personal attention from them. They would keep picking him up all the time. Not let him play alone. So ofcourse he enjoys their company.
that is by far the most cruel thing to tell a mother. to hell with her. you know that we all think you are the best. and that we know you are doing all you can,as best as you can. stay calm.. and remember how much S loves you and values all you have done for her .M will be the same.
ReplyDeleteYou know, somehow I get the feeling whatever problems you had were made worse by the atmosphere you lived in.
ReplyDeleteI have personally seen how important a calm and relaxed atmosphere is when breastfeeding.
It was a horrible thing to say and I wonder what made her feel insecure enough to be so bitchy. Are you way prettier than her or something?
Sorry for interrupting. I think Ceekay is certainly more beautiful than her MIL. Though I haven't seen both of them :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat makes a baby bond with the mother is the love, not the breast or bottle. Cee Kay, do NOT beat yourself up about the lactation issue. Entire generations have grown up completely bottlefed and it's hard to imagine all of them suffering terrible relationships with their mother because of this. Anyone who says different are being stupid and ignorant and you are too smart to be taken in by their crap.
ReplyDeleteYou know I used to fee my baby all the time and she still showed no signs of recognizing me or there was no special thing between us for a long time. But once it started, boy ! Breastfeeding has NOTHING to do with it !!
ReplyDeleteHow mean can people be? This is the limit !
Enjoy the joy your baby brings
ReplyDelete(Don't worry about the milk)
People may say whatever they say
What matters is what YOU think!
Loved our elder ones creative cooking!
Enjoy your lovely daughters:)
Thanks for the support, everyone! Was quite busy dealing with lactation issues and an increased work load at office thanks to a well-meaning mentor of a boss. I am enjoying the work actually as he has set up quite interesting and challenging performance objectives for me. The only problem is that it is pretty late in the year and I have to scramble to meet them.
ReplyDeleteHey there,
ReplyDeletedon't be upset by what other people say..a baby always knows its mother...my MIL even had the nerve to tell me right after thambi was born that I should not breast feed since she didn't think I was going to be a good mother. Also she wanted to bottle feed him so he'll be close to her and then she can take him away to India with her, until I learn to be a good mother. Just a load of BS! I say. You are doing your best and for that baby with thank you one day...just love baby M and thats what counts. Good luck.
Shobana
http://mybabynaren.blogspot.com/
BTW, I am blog rolling you...
hard at work at office, came across this post of yours. UR ibnspiring me to blog about lactation and mother hodo and get on my soapbox about it - watch out!
ReplyDelete