...About girlfriends
Someone will always be prettier.
Some will always be smarter.
Some of their houses will be bigger.
Some will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house.
SO LET IT GO, and love YOU and your circumstances.
Think about it!
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.
And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes~~~~might be lonely.
And the word says, "If I have not Love, I am nothing."
So, again, love YOU.
Love who YOU are.
Look in the mirror in the mornings and smile and say,"I am too blessed to
be stressed and too anointed, to be disappointed!"
"Winners make things happen, while losers allow things happen."
BE "BLESSED" LADIES!!!
And I have since been wondering.... Where the heck did this come from?? This reeks of insecurity. I mean I agree with the message. Love yourself. Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone has problems,no matter how happy or contented they look. etc. etc. That is just plain common sense to me. That someone needed to put it down in words and forward it - to me it seems like they themselves might have been struggling with the green eyed monster. Or am I reading too much into this?
I know I sound very judgmental. Maybe I AM being so. I agree, every one of us, at some time or the other, has gone a round or two in the boxing ring with the GEM (Green Eyed Monster). But most of us realize, sooner or later, that the only person being affected by the incessant comparisons is the person we see in the mirror. US! I am no better - there have been occasions when I have sighed inwardly and thought things like "If only I had that". But then I come back to my senses almost immediately. True - I would like to have many things that I see people around me have. But the truth is - I have all that I need. I might not have everything that I want but that is no big deal. Want... Need... BIG difference!
When I was at the lowest point in my life - I desparately wanted another baby but couldn't have one - even then I never, NEVER became jealous of my friends who WERE having babies. I was genuinely happy for them. It was difficult to attend Baby Showers at times - NOT because it was painful seeing the expectant parents be happy but because almost always someone or the other would come to us and say "Now its YOUR turn". Yeah?? How would YOU know?? Anyway, I know I am rambling...
So this email forward has had me thinking - are there people who look at others and say/think "Gosh! She has it GOOD! I wish I had her life!" I mean, I know there are some. But I always thought that most of us are sensible, balanced, mature individuals who don't fret about what others have and we don't. And THAT's why I found this email forward so strange...
Your thoughts?
I find myself thinking, 'wow they're so lucky..blah blah blah'. and then I have to remind myself that 1.its not always as good as it seems and 2. things are really not bad for me also.. and i'm grateful.
ReplyDeleteit is common sense,what the forward sense, but sometimes, i need to remind myself (and that's what the forward does) to be commonsens-ical
This is quite common Cee! Don't you recall elders in India often speak of the evil eye?
ReplyDeletePersonally, I have found it is helpful to mentally remind myself "She worked really hard to get where she is now."
About baby showers - I just pray no insensitive person blurts out stupid questions or observations that day (I don't have abs of steel) :-)
gg
This is still a better forwarded mail than the ones I get everyday, offering me enhancements of various organs and viagra on sale cheap. I would anyday take an insecure email over a humiliating one. :)
ReplyDeleteYou know that story about where everyone sat around in a circle and cast their problems into a pot ? They could trade anyone else's problem with their own and guess what happened ? Everyone preferred to take back their own problem .. I guess that says it at all ..
ReplyDeleteI don't feel jealous of other people's lives because there is always more to a person than what meets the eye and no one is without their share of problems.
my life is far from perfect but at least I understand what my issues are!
Oh I find myself thinking 'I wish I had her abs' or 'I wish I had her drive'or ' I wish I lived in that house' or some such innane thing ever so often. The maturity, IMHO, does not lie in not thinking along those lines. It lies in not letting envy make a permanent place in ones heart, causing one to act in a regrettable manner.
ReplyDeleteArrack: You are right about points 1 and 2. I think what grated on me was the "catty" tone as Unmana said.
ReplyDeleteggop: Now that you mention it - I do recall the "evil eye". Thing is, I never believed in that either and I never believed that anyone was sitting aorund just to throw an evil eye at me because I supposedly had more than them. Back to square one - aren't I? :)
Anurag: Yay!! You're alive!! Yes, I'd take this email forward over the others anyday, though almost ALL email forwards irritate me no end.
SS: Interesting story - I'd never heard it. But that is so true!
Unmana: I couldn't put my finger on it but the "catty" undertone IS what was bothering me. And for people to assume that we women compare ourselves only to other women? The nerve!! :D
SM: I think you are right. The problem is not in thinking these thoughts but in letting these emotions rule our lives.
i said the same thing when i read this and was going to comment "where is this coming from"?? but thank god you answered that part. I mostly thank my parents for keeping us gorunded and also raising us in a way that we were comfortable in our own skin....but really have you seen the bling Oprah wears??!! :) ;)
ReplyDeleteI am guilty of that. At lowest of lows (which according to my hyper active mind is too often), I go through the 'dang she/he's got it made' but never my closest friends just acquaintances.
ReplyDeleteBecause even then, I think my pragmatic side knows that you can only really be envious of acquaintances, because you know next to nothing of their real life.
I am not at all sensible. sigh
I have been guilty of wishing for things that other people have, but that is always fleeting. Overall I am happy with my life, there are things that could be better but I am working on those!
ReplyDeleteThere is soemthing so condescending about that mail... as if all the women of the world (except the writer) are suffering from severe self-esteem problems. I don't know a single women of my acquaintance who actually wants anyone's life - we all crib and bitch but in end, I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's
ReplyDeleteThis couldn't have come at any better time. :)
ReplyDeleteJust yesterday I was on my way back from work and I happend to get a lift from a friend - who drives a mercedes and there was another friend sitting in front with her.......
The only conversations in the car were about who bought a mercedes and who bought a BMW and how the other friend bought a house running into millions!!!!!
And I was thinking poor me...... don't know what will I talk about mercedes and BMW with them???!!!!
After a while, the conversations went to their husbands........ one talked about how her husband always goes out to drink with his friends and comes home late in the night and talks all crap...... the other was also not happy for some other issues with her hubby!!!!!!
And I was gleaming with pride how I have my hubby next to me...... the every helpful.... the ever kind.... even cooks simple dinners if I am late and tired from work!!!! :)
This just happened yesterday, and I had to read this today!!!!!
There are times when we like to have all materialistic pleasures..... especially when you see someone else with it...... but I guess its happy to be contented with what you have enjoy and dream towards making the other things (not with you ) happen!!!!! And even bigger pleasure is seeing those dreams come out to be true!!!! :)
Orchid: Yes. For me too, it was my parents who taught me not to envy others for their fortune. Oprah's bling? I couldn't say - I have never watched her program :( But looks like I need to make time to watch it just to see what bling you are mentioning :D I guess I'll have plenty of time when the baby gets here :P
ReplyDeleteMe and Just a Grail: I think most of us think that - I do too. What I meant was how many of us really obsess about what others have ALL THE TIME (which is what I felt the email forward implied)?
Rohini: Exactly! The condescending tone implies that ALL women do nothing but sit around and envy their friends for what they have.
Coffee: You lucky girl!! I would envy you except that I have one such husband myself :P (only he doesn't cook - but he has recently acquired the skill to order pizza - so that works for me :P)