Two days ago, when going through her bedtime routine, my daughter told me that there is a boy in her after-school program who bullies her. That day, he had thrown my daughter’s jacket from the chair she had put it on and sat on the chair. And he called her a “Gorilla” because of the hair that she has on her arms and legs. The same boy had harassed her back when she was in first grade and used to take the same bus as him to the school. He even hit her in the chest one day. I complained to the principal and she made sure that never happened again.
Now the same runt was back in action (I wonder if he ever stopped it in the first place) bullying my daughter and other kids. Needless to say I was concerned and outraged. So, I wrote an email to the After-school program’s director and copied the school’s principal on it. I left about 3 voice messages for the program director and the school’s site co-ordinator for that program. Before end of day next day, I had an email from the director saying the bully and my daughter won’t be sitting at a table together in the future. I wasn’t very satisfied with this (why wasn’t the boy punished, or at least his parents informed?) but figured we could start with this and take further action if the need arises. The matter is far from resolved but we are dealing with it.
This morning, my daughter gave me a paper on which she had drawn something (even she couldn’t make out what it was :P) and written this –
“My Mom is my Angel because she stands up for me”.
If that is not the highest honor I could receive as a parent, then what is?
A higher honour would be for you to receive a note from me saying that you are my angel because you donated a thousand bucks to me.
ReplyDeleteNo, seriously, it is very important for her to see you as a security provider. Well done!
Now, can I give you a list of people who bullied me in school?
I think that was so sweet.. how often do children realise what you do for them? And its more touching because you dont really do it for the appreciation. I agree with you though, the parents should have been called or the child punished... damn... things are so different there... I would have been mad enough to tell my child to smack him but then I with my short temper am probably the wrong person to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteAnurag: Well, I DID (lend you a 1000 bucks)! Or have you forgotten already?? :( So now, out with the commemorative note declaring me as your angel. And yes, I'll wait for the list of bullies. And should I come across them, you can rest assure they are going to be sorry!
ReplyDeleteMM: I would have felt better even if the program counselors had sat down with my daughter and asked her what happened or spoke to the boy to make him understand what he is doing is not acceptable. I learnt yesterday that he snatched lunch money from a 6 year old girl for a WEEK(!) and the program director still did nothing when the girl's mother complained. We ARE working on this problem - I am part of the After-school program selection committe and all the members (including myself) are determined to throw this program out of the school and get the older one back in, which was much better in terms of services, discipline and care provided. Thankfully, we have the power to do so and the school's administration supports us.
That's awesome! I think what you did was right. I think sometimes there's a lot of pressure to let kids grow up and be independent and deal with their own problems but I think there'll be time enough for that and right now, it's important for her to know you are there for hwer
ReplyDeleteThat really is great. I hope the issues with the bully were resolved for good. You are such a great mom, there is nothing better than teaching a kid to stand up for themselves. She will thank you one day.
ReplyDeleteOK, how about another 1000 then? :)
ReplyDeleteImagine that, motherhood has it's own reward :)
ReplyDeleteBut this was informative.. I am already wondering about these issues...is it harder for our children here I wonder sometimes. My A will start kindergarten next yr..but it's good to know I can always turn to my fellow bloggers for advise.
First time here...enjoyed reading your post.
Aww...that indeed was such a sweet thing your daughter wrote about you!I share your anger though that the school is not really taking solid measures to deal with that bully.I do hope that thing gets resolved soon.This boy seems like a brat in need of a good lesson.
ReplyDeleteI bloghopped here.Pretty neat blog you have here!
Rohini: I agree - kids should be allowed to be kids. But then, sometimes I think I should just take a step back and let her deal with a problem hersolf - just to develop her self-confidence. Of course, I first determine if the problem is such that she can tackle herself.
ReplyDeleteSines: Exactly. My focus is on giving her the skills that she will need later in life. The trick is in deciding which ones she is ready for now.
Anurag: Dream on, honey!
Orchid: Thanks for dropping by. I think it was harder for those who came much before us. At least where I live, I see a lot of tolerance for other cultures - an interest in learning more even. But it is difficult in so many other ways too.
FuzzyLogic: Thanks for hopping in! It was the after-school program that didn't take appropriate action. It is a separate entity from the school. They did try to contact me AFTER they learnt that the after-school program selection committee (of which I was a part of) had decide to throw their program out and invite another one in.
how cute! u must have felt so good. kids do treat parents as role models and in their eyes, we can do no wrong!phenomenol responsibility
ReplyDeleteGood job mom! It's wonderful to teach your children to be intendependent,
ReplyDeleteand solve their own problems. But there comes a time when they need to know that should they need help, someone is right behind them.
First time commenting here, great blog and wonderful writing.
Isnt that so very lovely. I hope you have preserved that piece of paper for posterity...and for the teenage years....
ReplyDelete